Playing with fire is always very exciting. It fills your world with a rush… an energy. It swirls through you with an unquenchable delight, that not a single human being can ever diffuse. It’s a moment. It’s sexy. It’s alive. It makes your heart beat faster. You eyes beam with a flourish. It slowly strokes your fingers over that ‘naughty’ button, doesn’t it?
Living out of your comfort zone is essential for anyone’s development. Rushes of happiness are exactly what we search for. We hope that those ‘rushes’ will forever stick.
The problem is, when you play with fire…FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! CONSEQUENCES may arise…and when they do…Oh Baby….you better be able to handle them. Sometimes big. Sometimes small. Yet, all times tricky. ( I guess, it’s part of the balance. The ‘Yang.’ The Lesson. As we all tackle this little thing, that someone labelled LIFE.)
Newcastle was great. I’d just finished filming, late…the evening before in Leeds, at ITV. I’d been in London with my bestie Ronnie, before that. ( I sitll need to tell you about our time in London, at The Ham Yard Hotel) I was tired, that morning but open top of the world. I felt amazing. Life was a dream and simply because I was really excited.
I kinda slept, woke up, slipped on a denim dress and again found myself stepping off Platform 3B onto a train headed towards the North East. I was off to see ‘T-Bone.’ (Who’s been a really great friend of mine for years now.)
T-Bone: ‘What you wearing?’
Me: ‘Why? You wanna wear matching outfits?’
T-Bone: ‘Hahaha. No.’
Incase you didn’t know, ‘T-Bone’ (formerly ‘The Swirl,’) and I are quite close now. We have a good friendship. The real kind. It’s one of those friendships that you’re gonna WISH you had. No-one would really understand it, but us. I think sometimes people who don’t know us personally, as individuals, would GUESS how we are, judge us, use us, be a certain weird way around us. Yet with each other, we don’t have to be that way, simply because we accidentally know each other really quite well. I can see through him.
Everything’s so easy, it’s always a laugh and our banter is simply our thing. We’ve known each other for ages and we’ve built up all these memories.. Its wonderful. He’s ace. I hope he’s someone I have in my life, for the jolly kitten years, I have left. (If cocktails don’t kill my liver before then.)
‘At the end of the day, memories are all we have. So just live. You’ll regret it if you don’t.’
I hardly catch up with people, because I’m so busy now. But my Newcastle ‘catch up’ was the always the best. I guess you make time for those you truly miss, right? He makes me laugh…and that gift alone is pretty damn precious. I like a giggle. He delivers a giggle. I’m signed up. I’m there…and with bloody bells on. Lol.
We had a good time!
There’s a puppy playfulness to T-Bone, a soft side and I like that in folk. It shows a giddy innocence. It’s not that he isn’t ‘grown.’ He’s grown. He just has the ability to still FEEL alive. He doesn’t do things until he’s ready. But when he does, he does them whole heartedly with every piece of his soul. He’ll give it all he’s got…if he’s bothered and wants.
TBone: ‘You know you can hire someone to live in your home, who cooks cleans, looks after the kids and massages you…’
Me: ‘What like a wife?’
TBone: ‘No. I don’t believe in that. Haha. I’m fifty/fifty. I wouldn’t treat my wife like a slave. Oh wait? Yeah. Is that what a wife….Haha.’
He’s the kinda guy who never thought to buy an iron because it all sounds too tedious. He irons his shirts, by hanging them in the shower, to let the steam get the creases out. ( I love that so much, I almost want to be him. I said ALMOST.)
Me: ‘Why wouldn’t you just buy an iron?’
TBone: ‘Well? I.. I don’t know? Haha. I’ve got really bad now. I like fresh sheets, so i’ve started to sleep in a different bed every night. Haha. There’s four where I’m living. On the 4th day, I get the cleaners in to change them for me, because I like the feeling of clean sheets.’
I’m humoured by all this. It makes me smile. Scrap the ‘almost.’ I definitely want to be him.
TBone: ‘My mates are starting to call me Princess. Lol’
I’m not gonna tell you anything about the catch up, because it’s firmly planted in my head. I don’t need to write it to remember. I’ll remember.
‘As if i’m a real actress now. Haha. ‘
‘I’m addicted to watching Married at First Sight.’
‘You should’ve heard me. I was like a fucking football hooligan. Jack Marriott properly ruined my night! Haha.’
‘I just didn’t expect that from her, y’know.’
‘My friend said he gave her a penis puppet show.’
‘They just like the lifestyle!’
‘You’d love it out there.’
‘They’re deluded, you can just wake up at 22 and decide that you’re going to…’
‘They’re just not nice people. I’m all about the positive.’
‘It’s important to keep things exciting. Like you should be having a date night once a week…after the honeymoon period.’
‘I thought I should get married!’
‘She has no friends.’
‘Was it actually worth a free dinner.’
‘You’re like a fucking teenage boy.’
‘I made a bbq by MYSELF. I’ve never done that before.’
‘Everyone goes fishing at five o clock in the morning…’
‘So you just show up when it’s done. Haha.’
‘I used to get the train to Leeds and go to Oracle. Haha.’
‘You were happy the last time i saw you. But you seem so much happier this time.’
‘I’ve rested. Im relaxed. I’m not living on eggshells anymore.’
‘I’m not a sponsor.’
‘You’re still a human being. We both are.’
‘I had to pay £1000 extra at the airport because my baggage was over.’
‘What the fuck did you have in it? Hookers?’
‘That night, Jack Marriott ruined my life!’
‘I love me Mam. It’s like a four course meal!’
‘So, I wasn’t allowed to see other people but SHE was??’
‘Have you done Loose Women yet?’
‘I’ll let you go first.’ (That was on Departure. That’s how all departures have to happen, so everyone doesn’t jump to 99 different conclusions.)
It was fun. It was great. And you know something is great by the way you feel afterwards. I’m happy to know him. I beamed with an energy that I wanted to treasure . He cracks me up. It’ll be another year until we get another decent catch up.
‘TBone: Are you still smiling?’
I’ve always thought our paths were just meant to cross, because we act like we’ve known each other our entire lives….and we haven’t at all. We’ve been friends for ages. But like i said, with everything… I’m sure i’ll find out, why our paths need to cross.
T-Bone: ‘I’d be intimated if i met you in a bar? There’s just something about ya…’
Bottom line, great friendship, awesome time. We seem to stand by each other, for no reason? We laugh. We tell secrets. We tell tales and we thankfully don’t judge one another. (There’s kinda a lot to judge. Haha.)
T-Bone: ‘I haven’t see you in AGES, but it feels like I just saw you last week!!! It’s crazy!’
Me: ‘I know. We just get on, so well. I don’t even know why?’