New Arrivals…Here he IS!


So, there I was on May 31st…my due date for the birth of my upcoming son. Yeah, I’d had *ouchy* pains, nothing too scary as of that time, but just really *ouchy-ouchy* pains…the kind of pains that make you terrified of an upcoming labour. I had unglamourously entered Phase 1 of labour…without really thinking too much of it. I mean of course I made a bit ‘hoo-haa’ about it…as naturally that’s what I do. ๐Ÿ™‚ However, to be honest, even though I was experiencing a great deal of pain, I truly deep down did not think that my son would be arriving ‘just yet,’ as they say…with a side of chinese dumplings.

I know that deep down< i must not have thought that I was actually going to shimmie on into labour because as Keiran kissed me ‘goodbye’ that morning to go to work and Ruby was sent to nursery, i then decided to grab lunch at Victoria Garden centre with my Mum, Dad and Brother. If I was in actual fear of ‘can-canning’ into labour, I would’ve hid under my blanket at home and hoped the boggie man didn’t get me. (The boggie man never did get me….it actually seems as simple as a man with a willy, on my wedding night did. Luckily, that man was my husband ๐Ÿ™‚ #romanceisalive ย )

Okay, so I waddle off to Victoria garden centre near Wakefield, feeling the pain, but sort of ignoring it, like it wasn’t really happening. I’d been in pain for a few days, had my ‘stretch and sweep’ and well as I sat down to eat my cheese toastie, I explained to my Mum (who’s a Doctor) that a greenish/straw-like fluid had been filling my kitty pad that I had placed in my preggo frillies and I didn’t quite know what it was, but it certainly didn’t feel like my waters had broken.

She advised me to call the midwife…so I did…my a toddlers slide…and well all the midwife said was for me to come down to the Maternity Ward at Pinderfields hospital to have my pad checked to see if it was my ‘water’s or not? If it was…then i would probably have to stay the night and if not I was free to leave right away and continue on with my pregnancy.

I obviously figured I would be coming back home. I’d been through pregnancy before and figured that i knew everything there was to know about it, ๐Ÿ™‚ and well if it didn’t feel like my waters had broken, then they most cetrianly hadn’t.

I called Keiran, who answered the phone IMMEDIATELY, with excitement, like a Daddy who had been holding his breath ALL day waiting for ‘the call.’ He was at work with his cousin Craig and well when he heard me utter a simple, ‘Well we have to go to the hospital JUST to get checked out, we’re probably going to come home, but we have to go just incase, it is my waters,’ he sort of didn’t know whether to be excited for deflated…so he flapped a little, sounded ย nervous and excited all at the same time…and then said, ‘Why are you still at the garden centre having a TOASTY. Get home NOW, so I can take you to the hospital!!!???!!!’ *Flap-flap-flap*

I get home, we take the hospital bag, just in case, we go to the hospital. It’s really quiet there on Ward 18 and i’m getting strapped to a machine that monitors the heart rate and movement of the baby, after having my urine tested and my pad checked my a lovely student midwife.

Came out of the toilet, laid on the couch next to Keiran and said, ‘Well yeah, my waters have broken, they’re pretty positive about it, oh and the baby’s done a poo in me, which means he could be distressed, so they need to hurry up the labour and get me contracting faster so the baby can be induced.’

Before you know it, we’re thinking we were going home and INSTEAD we were being taken to the LABOUR WARD IMMEDIATELY from the check up and getting ready to have the baby!!! I mean HOLY McBABY MUCH!

Staright away, we were placed in a room, I was de-knickered and strapped to another monitor, I had needles jabbed into me in all the wrong veins. (I hate ti when that happens. I am terrified of needles. I hate them. But i have shit veins, so when they need to jab them, even my veins run away in fear. They can never find them anywhere, meaning I was sat being continuous jabbed, in huge amounts of hand pain, now will swollen bumps all over them, hoping it would all stop.) By this point, I couldn’t even take having a needle in my vein to have my drip fitted, let alone even DREAM about dealing with the labour! No joke! I sat there with my hands shaking, all tense and terrified and Keiran could just see in my eyes that I was NOT OKAY. Even the midwives could smell the utter Wunna fear. I looked like a Dolly who was about to weep. The funny thing is, that everyone on the ward kept commenting on how glamourous I looked and how I was putting everyone to shame with my complete beauty. ๐Ÿ™‚ HOWEVER, everytime a member of staff walked into the room and said, ‘Wow, you are BEAUTIFUL,’ (followed by Keiran and his proud ‘That’s my wife’ line) they would then JAB ME WITH A NEEDLE and either hurt me, or miss! Lol. It was like a horror movie and we hadn’t even gotten to the labour bit yet, Talk about back handed compliment! Haha! I was terrified of someone coming in and telling me I was ‘pretty.’

Anyway, I’m sat there, still in my black maxi dress, with it pulled up over my bump, strapped to a machine, on a labour bed, in a private room, sat on a pad, incase I soiled myself with a pad on. Then a ‘Okay, Christina, this is going to be a little uncomfortable’ line came from the midwife…a line that seem to keep repeating in the room that we were in. I did actually state that out my eyelashes. I was like, ‘People either come into this room, tell me i’m beautiful and then jab me, or they’re lubing up and telling me that the next step is going to be a little uncomfortable!!!!!’ย 

All laughing aside….I really actually was in utter fear. My hands we’re trembling with fear and I was strapped to a drip, that was pierced into my vein, that contained some kind of hormones, that would make me contract faster and stronger…apparently this was a must, as we only had a short amount of time to get the baby out, due to me not realizing my waters had broken at 9am. 12 hours had already gone by and well we only had another 12 hours to get the baby out, before he would run out of fluid, causing infections to try and get at him. ๐Ÿ™ He had already pooed in me, meaning that he could be distressed. FUN! I was SCARED! THIS WAS GOING TO HURT! I wasn’t ready.

Anyway, like i needed to go through all *ouchiness* the midwife then needed to check the insides of my vagina to see what was going on. She lubed up, had a rummage, it killed, Keiran held my hand and well she found that she needed to brak my front waters in order to make the hormone drip work. She had a go…and could tear the membrane. #yipppeee #not. It was so uncomfortable, but had to be done. So, she called the Doctor, ‘Helen’ was her name, who also made me place my legs in a froggy position, so she could have a quick rummage, with the ‘this could be a little uncomfortable’ line and within a minute…she broke my front waters with a white proddy thing and everything in the world and then some *gushed* out of my lady part. It was MESSY! I was sat in my own puddle of mess, I had a monitor attached to me and a hormone dripped wedged in my vein. THEN the Doctor told me that I was already 3cm dialated!!! Fun! *OUCH!!!* ย I’d done some of my *ouchy* at home already and at the garden centre. When you have your second baby, you always think your not having proper contractions when YOU ARE, because you compare your phase 1 pain, to your previous phase 3 pain. It’s not even nearly the same amount pain. Trust me. Phase 3, hurts so much, that I couldn’t even think of the words to describe it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Things pretty much got underway straight away. Keiran had been looking after me and was actually amazing at the job. He had stayed by my side, with a supportive smile and bought me snacks and everything, he even read to me (even though it was out of a golf magazine ๐Ÿ™‚ ) and well encouraged me all the way. Sort of the way you expectthe man of your dreams to, when you’re about to have his baby. He was the perfect person to have by your side before, during and after labour. You can’t have him though, as obviously that would be a bit odd to have my husband at your birth. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Unless you paid me.)

Long story short, the hormones worked immediately, it was now around 9 o clock and the midwife, ย (who was actuallyamazing) had dimmed the lights and told us to get some rest, whilst we could. It just so happened that there was no time for rest. Like I said, it sometimes takes hours for the hormone drip to take affect on some women, it took minutes on me and before you know it I was having to breath out the contraction pain. Still doable…but painful. I was breathing them out like a champion though, with Keiran alongside me, breathing them out also…and EVEN REFUSING pain relief at 3 cm dialated, and current contractions, that were getting turned up every 15 minutes…as of course my were being pushed upon me and fast. Lucky me.

So yeah…as the fairytale goes…the contractions got stronger, meaning they got more painful. As every hour went by they hit a delicious level ‘more pain’ and well the ‘Zen’ approach of ‘just breath it out and go with it’ was not cutting the mustard anymore. (My beautiful hubby was excellent through each stage and held my hand tightly like there was no love like ours during each plateau of ‘ouchiness.’ I had one of those ‘i love this man’ moments between asking for more pain killers. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Soon, the gas and air came in! Holy shit. The last time I went through labour, I was convinced that stuff didn’t work. It actually does. One big suck in and breath out and I felt like I’d taken a pill, or drank 42 bottles of wine in a wild west saloon. My contractions were coming on strong and fast, yet I was handling them merrily…on gas. How the hell I was, I have no idea! I looked too good at dealing with the pain. I must have. Why? Well because the midwife jollied in and TURNED UP the hormone juice to make my contractions come on much much stronger and for longer! Jeeze! When you go into labour, and you’re not at the peak of pain, PRETEND THAT YOU ARE, you will get given drugs they make you wait it out for a wee while.

When the midwife left the room, I huffed and puffed on my gas and air during my contractions and chilled through the calm time. During the ‘calm time’ Keiran and I reminisced and talked about our relationship, our journey…and well I passed him the puffer…so he could have a go. I wasn’t in too much pain at that time…so it fun. Plus…i’m sure he was stressed internally. Without telling you much, I will tell you that it turned something so ouchy, into a giggling circus of twittish behaviour. We were both off our faces GIGGLING during labour, like idiotic children. I’m sure the midwife knew because the hubs decided to *giggle* through her entrance into the room and well I felt guilty so I acted all school girl weird, but accidentally passed it to him, when my contraction was over infront of him. She gave us disapproving eyes and TURNED UP THE CONTRACTION HORMONES. (Don’t piss the midwife off.)

It all went down hill from there on for me. There was a distinct lack of ‘Keiran gas and air puffs’ from this moment on, as the pain went crazy and well i was squirming on the bed in utter pain, screaming (internally)…wanting to cry and not being able to deal with the pain at all. It got very unfunny…very fast.

Long story short…you get the whole picture….I was begging for an epidural, I was in the MOST PAIN I HAD EVER FELT. I’m talking OUCH! I’m talking UNBEARABLE HYSTERICAL UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. And…it was all trapped in my body, where I just couldn’t escape it.

I had told the midwife millions of times that I WANTED an epidural. Everytime she smiled and told me to ‘see how it goes,’ because I ‘might surprise myself.’ I’m ‘Chrissie Wunna’ whenever I surprise myself, it’s always BAD.

I hit all the levels of pain, i couldn’t breath, talk, or anything really. I just shouted out in pain, writhed on the bed, had my poor hubby ‘army’ me through it all with love, have great staff around me helping me through it, until I finally got a mild sedative to aid my cries. It got jabbed in my leg and well I was told that it would kick in 20 mins.

The rest is a blur, but I can tell you that i have it all in flashback form. I kept falling asleep because I was sooo monged out in pain, between my contractions, because they were every so mighty and when one conjoured up again i’d wake up in SHOCK and started screaming, crying, telling everyone i couldn’t do it, whilst puffing on the gas and air like a mad woman and asking for an epidural. No epidural ever came.

All i remember is that the lights were dim, there was a big red spotlight upon me, it was sort of like the lighting at a burlesque show, all exotic and circus crazy…almost sexy and I wriggled around in pain, between passing out due to the sedative between each ‘ouchy’ with Keiran blowing in my face and telling me I could do this. I once again asked for an epidural…but instead and very glamourously LEAKED EVERY KIND OF FLUID POSSIBLE out of my privates, at the same time as literally POOING myself on a ‘doggy pad’, as I called it. (It looked like one of those pads that you train your puppy to poo on.) I pooed all over continuously, whilst screaming through my gas an air puffer.

It all went quickly to me and I was expecting the midwife to come and check me over in another hour and give me the epidural. Instead my baby boy decided he wanted to come out and well before you know it, instead of waiting the hours for the birth (they expected him around 8am) at 3.30, i began pushing him out because I had no other option, It all seemed like a madhouse around me, swirling in in a sexy burlesque red light. I don’t know what happened, but the midwife was now telling me off and telling me to listen because I NEEDED TO PUSH and i wasn’t doing it properly. Keiran was now STOOD UP by my side, holding onto my hand and watching all vaginary activity. I was still in my swirling red, circus of a spotlight. Everything around me seemed like a rushy dream of craziness.

I pushed. Nothing happened. I waited until my next measure of pain and it KILLED. It was hardcore and I had no epidural, just my fricking gas and air and mild sedative. UGH! The next time I pushed, they all got excited, yet I had no idea why? Finally…the head was there! It was there…I didn’t feel it there, but it was there. The pain overpowered everything now. I just kept screaming ‘I can’t do this.’ (It was all much more dramatic than when I had Ruby.)

The next push, i finally pushed the head out, there was a moment of absolute relief and I felt amazing for about ONE SECOND, until i then realized that I had a human wedging my ‘lady part’ open and it fricking HURT! It was agonizing. It was destroying. It was nearly over!!!

I got another telling off and i began listening because now i knew that I was nearly there, i should probably listen and get it over with. I listened to the midwife, I listened to Keiran..(I’d apparently been a bit of abitvh during the last few ouchies) and well with my hand over my face, the gas and air fixed to my mouth and my life whizzing around me, with A LIFE now peeking out of my ‘whoopsie’…I pushed, pushed and pushed and just like that…the midwife screamed a ‘YES’ and with a fluid flow of relief, pulled the whole of my little boy out, with a smile. It was the MOST SATISFYING MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

The baby was placed immediately on my chest. Keiran watched every second and told me how proud he was. I was so exhausted I was half awake and half living a dream and there you have it…at 3.46am, on June 1st, 2013, my baby boy ‘Baby Junior’ was born, weighing 7lbs 14. (I thought he was meant to be measuring small??? That’s almost 8lbs.)

I zonked out then and couldn’t remember anything other than Keiran rocking the baby in his arms, with a puzzled face…

My baby boy was washed over, wrapped up warm and loved, as Keiran passed out on the recliner and looked after us both all night. He was actually the most amazing man ever and you should see the love that he has for his son in his eyes right now. It’s the most beautiful feeling ever. I’ve never really been looked after and cared for so well by a gent in my entire life, so i’m truly grateful to him for everything. Including Baby Ruby…we now have the PERFECT family. It’s magical. It’s a fairytale. We’re madly in love.


It’s taken our hearts, emotions and level of love to the next level…a level we never thought we could reach. I have the most beautiful little girl, the most adorable little baby, baby boy and the most AMAZING, almost ‘hero’ of a husband. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Everything in life is destined to work out the way it’s meant to…..that moment, just over a year and a half ago, when Keiran and my eyes met….so much has happened. He’s loved me, married me, raised my daughter and now we have a son. We’ve been through all sorts of ups and downs….but we always get the things that matter RIGHT!

We couldn’t be happier!! Wunna land is shimmied over with love, excitement and dreams come true!

THANK YOU for all of your messages!! We’ve read them all and love you for them.

Ruby is ADORING her role as ‘BIG SISTER,’ maybe even a little too much. She’s soooooo cute and wants smother him with her ‘Baby Junior’ obsession. She’s taken to it really well, which brings a smile to my face and a glow in my heart. What a good girl.

Keiran is filled with emotion and is a very very proud Daddy. he’s already paraded Baby Junior around the town with his head held high and his heart pounding with ย pride. He’s very emotional and well the greatest father and husband ever. I’m really proud of him!

I’m recovering really well. I’m sitting here in my tan, eyelashes, too much eyeshadow and well ‘heels’ yesterday!

I’m currently enjoying family time and adoring my new addition. He’s been named after his Daddy, so his full name is Keiran Jnr, Harry, Thompson. AKA… ‘Baby Junior.’ (I tell you what…he’s an eater…i can’t stop him from feeding. He’s only 3 days old and has already tried to eat his own father. How cute! *Grins.*)

We now have a little 2 year old Glamour Puss & a miniature, yet SOLID, little 3 DAY old son. MAGIC!

Nothing is better than creating life and creating your own little family and doing it all out of love.




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