My Worst Date

My worst date was with a boy in LA named ‘Ofear.’ Stunningly attractive hottie, all tall, tanned, brown haired and mediterranean looking. Almost too perfect on the eyes. You couldn’t have drawn him any better. Anyway he saw me at the Cabanna Club (this was ages ago,) stops me on my way to the toilet and after we tried to ‘sexy out wit’ each other. (We each have a gaggle of the opposite sex around us. ) There’s a sexy exchange of numbers. Next day he calls and we go out on a lunch date a couple days later…as we both had other ‘dates’ we had to attend too and it was at the Kings Rd cafe. (Which is known for having coffee like crack.)

To keep things short…it was the sunniest day in the world ever. We’re sitting on the patio (well the outside lunching area) with a random ‘God knows where his Mother was’ curly haired, blond 3 year old, in pastels, on a blue & red tricycle, tricycling around us- giggling….which is already turning our lunch date into some tragic comedy sketch. So Ofear looks likes he’s recovering from the worst night of cocaine ever, yet is weirdly still Sexy. Plus, he’s treating me like the Queen of the World and is a really funny Gemini who owns a chain tanning salons. (Handy)

Alls going well and we take our date to a furniture store, so we could bounce on beds. If your hot, in LA, you’re pretty much allowed to do whatever you want and never get thrown out. (So that got tedious.) Plus, I hate dates at furniture stores because you have to walk around like you’re a real life couple and pretend you love wardrobes. Then he lovingly tells me he likes to have viscious angry sex and enjoys to force open a womans mouth (during sex) and spit it in!!! SPIT IN IT! Then even worse, he lives two doors away from his Mother. (I don’t like Mummies boys!)

Worst date ever. Never saw him again! Remind me that any boy with the word ‘fear’ in his name must be avoided and at all costs!! (Hope ur not reading this. But if you are, lets be honest…. You’ re a bit of a ‘i have too much saliva’ wankster. Oh and can I have free tanning?? You filthy dodgey Mummies Boy.)

2 thoughts on “My Worst Date”

  1. What in Hell is wrong with this guy!?!? He obviously has some kind of weird “ever so creepy” thing with his Mother…maybe they are in some way “intimate”…eew!!

    Then, this whole thing about how he likes to have vicious angry sex and then spit in a woman’s mouth is CREEPY!!! This guy is a total fucking CREEP!!!!!!!! His idea of sexual intimacy with a woman is very disturbing!!! I would carry around pepper spray or something…this guy and his Mama are FREAKS!!!

    He needs to go online and meet people on internet chat sites or whatever that share the same sick-ass fetish as he does. Or, he could always just watch Jerry Springer to find the real weirdo that is meant to be his sick and twisted better half.

    Chrissie, you DESERVE better then this!! Wow, that guy and his Mama are just not right in the head!!!!!! Thay are fucked up!!! WOW!!

  2. Hahaha! I know. It was so funny. One minute i’m gleefully bouncing on a bed, all rainbows and frilly knickers and the next minute he was all ‘angry sex and spit,’ talk! So gross.

    I was blinded by beauty!!


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