My Little Hill of Chanel

It’s Christmas day, i’m getting this out the way early, as i really can’t  be bothered at ALL, to get my ‘blog’ on. I woke up to text messages from full grown adults, (not even drunk…ewww,) who believe they’re still 7 years of age, and decide to wake up at some ungodly hour, in order to open presents from ‘Claus.’ He’s PRETEND you dipsticks!!! (Last night, I kept telling Gay Adam that Father Christmas was going to forget about him this year, to humour myself and make him feel left out! I was like, ‘if i’m not making it on the BEEN GOOD list, then i’m emotionally disturbing all you fuckers!! I’m taking you all down with me!!!’  Gay Adam’s a slag, he told me he wasn’t beneath giving

Anyway, it seems me ‘taking down innocent fuckers’ was pointless (i’m loving my Christmas morning language,) as the dude in the RED suit did end up coming (erm..Mummy what are you doing??) …Oh and stopping by to drop off my prezzies. And well instead of getting me ANYTHING that was ON MY list, he got me bags and lots of them. Like really, i could carry your ‘shit’ for lifetimes and even quite stylishly. EVERYONE got me a bag this year! Like i Tweeted earlier…i probably recieved 22 bags in the space of 22 minutes. At first i was like ‘Oooooh Chanel!!!’ Then by the 5th, i was like, ‘Ooooh ANOTHER bag!’ Then by number 22, (and i’m not joking here with the numbers,) i was having to do that really fake smile, ‘excited much,’ face…(I over compensated, i believe. I don’t enjoy openning prezzies infront of people, and i don’t like them to open theirs infront of me. I’m as straight forward as then come, therefore it’s dead hard for me to do a ‘really happy’ face, when i KNOW it’s expected of me. My rebellious streak, wants me to pull an awkward ‘yeah nice’ face, for kicks. Yet the ‘good‘ in me…and there is ‘good’ somewhere,  stops me from being funny, and unfortunately makes me conform to the ‘OMG! I LOVE IT,’ thing. ) Oh and i don’t like people to open the gifts, that i give them infront of me, because i hate it, if they don’t like my choice in ‘goody.‘ I’m not keen on rejection. It hurts my heart and ego. Plus, everyone expects BRILLIANCE from me. Even i do!

 I’m currently sat in a middle of a hilled up pile, (i prefer ‘pilled up hile’) of bags given to me by those who love me, whilst i write this blog, from the middle of my living room floor, by a fireplace. I can smell dinner. (I’m not being rude…it’s that break bit, where all the prezzie part is done, and the food is being prepared.) It’s almost as if I have the whole of Chanel, Vuitton, & Pauls Boutique hilled around my being, for comfort. I guess some dolls need blankets and love. I’m more ‘Where are my  fucking accessories!!!!’ (I lost that fight outside the Camden Kebab shop, and let Jonny get KICKED, because that red hooded whore, threw my red studded bag on the pavement.)

Anyway, joking aside, i really hope you all got everything you ever wished for. Haha. I love you very very much…. you greedy recieving floozies. Now get offline and go get drunky! (Any excuse.) Merry Merry Christmas. You are ALL beautiful and the luckiest Pusses in town.

All my heart! You’re Resident ‘Kitten.’ (My Mum is currently yakking on about her ex-love, infront of my dad, that she’s apparently not over. I think she met him when she was 20. Nice touch! Way to ruin Xmas Mum! I’m gonna have to commit to doing something ridiculous to take the edge of it all. FUCKING hell! Here we go…. ‘Hey Daddy look what i’ve got!!’ *Flings bra off- wiggles boobies.*) Which reminds me, the best prezzie i have EVER seen given, was by Mikey, who pulled a pair of socks, off his own ‘worn them all day’ feet, cut the ‘toe‘ parts out and re-gifted them as trendy arm warmers to his best friend Timmy. Who oddly….LOVED them. Tramps!


1 thought on “My Little Hill of Chanel”

  1. Yes bitch, you’ve taught me well – and now you are the shadow in MY existence!!

    Santa did come, after an extremely long and drawn-out wait, and he came with open arms – of which I broke at my attempt to ensure my receival of gifts! Karma did come back for me though and took half a tooth… that’s right, the Tooth Fairy wasn’t quick enough to take the whole tooth from me, and she is now DEAD (sorry kids, no more pounds for your dirty old teeth!!)

    On a lighter note, it’s Christmas… I’m over it already… Looking forward to the New Year next… We spent all month worrying about Christmas pressies and everything, and it’s now OVER… Dont get the point… well I do when I’m getting my gifts, but now i’m done so I want the world to be done too!

    Happy Hanuhkah!!



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