My Den of Masturbation

Morning Sex Pots! So i’ve just had a little ‘Alone time’ with myself under the sheets as i was waking up. It’s about 9.45am and the the World is a Wunnaful place. I love a cheeky ‘buddha palm’ in the morning. I get really into it. It was one of those hardcore ‘fiddles.’ Y’know one where you act out a whole role play in your mind, talk dirty to yourself and take your sexuality a bit too seriously! (Hahaha!.) I’m officially a twit, but boy did it feel good. I prefer to do it infront of a mirror…it’s an ego thing, yet this morning i had to hide from people wondering around my house, who always seem to burst into my room unannounced. So i built a baby den. LOL. (‘Wunnas Den of Masturbation.’) My den is about as hi-tec as a 5 year olds den. All i do is lay on my back in bed, pull down my pants, bend my knees up, sometimes get my boobs out and then pull the quilt right over my head…making a tent like haven for ‘good times.’ Unfortunately, mid ‘boogie’ my mum starts playing some faint rubbish song downstairs. I don’t know what it’s called but it’s that one that goes, ‘…and when i think about it, I touch myself. WhooOOOoooa!’ Now, i know i’m all for random pointless comedic moments and everything, but i really can’t ‘touch myself’ to someone actually melodically singing the words ‘ I touch myself.’ That’s like time in HELL.

And for those of you who are ‘tut-tutting’ at my whole ‘I believe masturbation is for winners’ declaration. All i’m gonna say is, if more people took time to snoop around their own crotches…less hearts would be getting broken. (Plus you don’t have to waste time trying to remember their name.) You’re born with a ‘Wonka ticket of Excitement’ actually ON YOU…it’s a gift from God. So get to it, start giving YOURSELF a little love. (Wink.) I’ve just noticed that i haven’t cried in ages??? Remind me to try and do that later on today!

Last night i dreamt that Ronaldo was my husband. It was one of those really long not very exciting dreams. I mean, if your gonna invite yourself into my dream Cristiano…you better ‘put out!’ (Haha.!) In my dreams he’s frigid, loves me and we’re best friends. UGH! He’s like a gentle loving husband rather than a hot piece of ‘rape me.’ Really, whats the point??

I’m very much into the type of boy who looks like the Spanish ‘Latin Lover.’ The orange tanny tan, the dark dark greasy hair, the stubble, the flirty flirt. I adore it. Yet i think it’s more because of what they stand for. I mean  if i’m being honest…i pretty much fancy anyone hot. I don’t discriminate..AT ALL. I’ve dated all kinds of boys. And my morning ‘fiddle’ had nothing to do with Mr.Ronaldo and more to do with this boy i was BBM-ing last night. (That’s BlackBerry Msg and not ‘bumming.’ lol.) I just love the fact that they have sexuality slurring across their faces, kind of in the way that I do. Y’know and they’re regarded as being ‘Hot blooded.’ I’m a very passionate girl. Very emotional, sometimes a little destructive (Oopsie, it’s all done in good humour….honest,) sexual and at times a little experimental. I love hard and i fight hard. But i’m confident, sharp and although ‘laugh things off,’ always KNOW what i’m doing. I’m smoothy smooth. In my mind of disturbia, that’s quite sexy! I regard myself as HOT BLOODED, so maybe that’s why i’m often attracted to men of that sort? I mean, i’m really laid back and quite cute when i’m all tied up in a jolly little relationship, but when i ‘click,’ i ‘CLICK’ and it is ON!! Proceed with caution. (Purrr…)

Chrissie Wunna

14 thoughts on “My Den of Masturbation”

  1. lovely darts chrissie and a quality blog it is good to have a lil fiddle every know and again babe man or women it relives stress and frustration

  2. This made me actually laugh out loud… I touch myself to I touch myself. Brilliant!!
    Btw, check your myspace messages 😉 xx


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