Mummy to Be!

Well! Well! Welly! Just got back from my first ever baby scan. It’s the first time i’ve EVER seen the little puss that’s living inside me. Loverboy, picked me up just after 1pm. I tottered out, in white and heels. ( I wanted to look like a tainted virgin.) Then to the hospital we ventured, in his BSM car, to make our 2pm appointment. (For those of you just finding out about the bambino…there’s been a sudden realisation on Twitter today. I’ve actually known since fathers day of this year. I sort of had to keep it quiet, until i had graduated my first 12 weeks…but thankyou so much for all the love. It means a lot!)

Anyway, I was apparently meant to have started drinking pints or a pint of water..( i always exaggerate) at noon, so that by 1pm, i’d be full enough to explode. (When i’m full with water, it’s easier for the midwife to find the baby. It raises the little dumpling upward.) I forgot..(woohoo) and thought that i had to BEGIN drinking the water at 1pm. Therefore being me, i sipped in at 1.36pm, and moaned all the way there! 🙂

Loverboy, actually looked a bit annoyed that i had jumbled all the water drinking times up. He’s taking it all rather seriously now. I was shitting myself, being terrfied and trying to down a giant Volvic bottle of H2O-age, whilst spilling it down my face, with every road ‘hate my life’ bumpage!

If i’m being honest…it’s was weird when i was going to my scan. I’d kind of worked myself all up. I started to second guess myself? Like…am i actually pregnant.? Have i just made this up? ( I mean, i was simply going on a store bought test from Superdrug.) Will it’s heart be beating? Did the bleeding mean i’ve miscarried? Have i downed enough water? Or will it all be fine? You could see the anxiety on my face. I needed to breathe and in true Wunna stylio. I began to get moaney.

Okay, so because i was scared. Loverboy, decided to get scared all of a sudden. We ran hand in hand, through the rain into the new hospital in Pontefract. We jumped in the lift all the way to floor D. Met his ginner friend, who he didn’t even know, mid elevator rise, and then got to the maternity department at exactly 2pm! (Weird couples entered at this time. But the oddly looked happier than ever! We looked like we thought we were Posh & Becks!)

By 2.10pm, we were called into a little dark room , guided by the hottest little blond midwife, you’d ever seen. I think i got a bit jealous of her. She was all cutesy and wide eyed and i had elasticated waist (kill me) jeans on, with diamantes trickling down the sides! Elasticated waist! Yes!! That’s what this pregnancy has reduced me to and you always know when women have diamantes trickling down the side of their jeans, they’re so trying to hold on to their youth. *TRAGIC* I’m actually fat now..with child and Pete wants me to exercise more.  #cheekybastard. Just because he suggested exercise… i’m going to eat about ten pies. (Well when i say eat..i just mean look at.)

Okay, where was I? Yeah…I then did a bit of pregnancy paperwork. Got told to lie on the blue tissued bed. I pulled my lasty waisted jeans of horror down, just enough, so you could see my polka dot knickers and the lower part of my stomach. Gel was dolloped upon me and then the hot blond midwife, armed with some metal thing, smeared the gel all over my belly, whilst looking for my baby. (Pete was sat on a chair right by me..a hand holding. I yelled at him for trying to touch the gel.) Know that by this point, I was TERRIFIED!!!! You have never seen a floozey so scared! When i’m scared, i look like a 5 year old/Dolly that may have done a poo in it’s knickers.

Within seconds, ‘Blondie’ turns the screen towards me, with a giant smile and a ‘Oh there you go! There’s you’re baby!’

[Silence. Everything in the whole world STOPPED.]

Then an ‘OH MY GOOOOD! Like  OH my… GODD, ‘blurted out of me! It was right there, inside me…with zero complications. All healthy, comfy, happy, and alive. Just chilling and smiling. I could see it. A baby! My baby! Right there! We could even see it’s heart beating so fast, through it’s chest, that it was almost as though it was going to overdose on happiness! It was just laid there, all floaty and merry. Kicking and pouting. Wiggling and stretching. It was an actual real life baby! I could see it’s head, it’s body, it’s hands, it’s legs! It’s world…and it was a world inside of ME!

Even the midwife claimed it was ‘posing.’ Infact, it was a bit too active! If it’s like that in my womb, then god knows what it’s going to be like when set free! It was kicking non-stop, moving around, stretching and bouncing. At one point it even looked pissed off, that i was disturbing it. It’s a DIVA! [Applaud here.]

I looked to my left..the room was dark..(well shaded) and Pete’s face just said it all. He smiled, like he couldn’t even believe it. He’s a lot less expressive than i am. I’m all ‘OH MY F****** GOSHER!!’ He says everything with a look…and is ten times more emotional than i am! He’s a very sensitive boy.

I mean, he joined in with the banter and the ‘awws’…but on the inside he was probably..well he looked like he was in deep thought. Happy…deep…thought. This baby means the WORLD to him.

The midwife gave us extra scan pictures and was truely excited for the both of us. Infact, for someone that see’s this every 20 minutes of the day, she was a bit too excited! But i loved it. It just hasn’t absorbed. It is 100% healthy and even though we won’t know the sex until the second scan…it totally looks like a boy. I can’t believe it will half actually look like me! Be part of me. Like an extension of me! WTF!! I want a girl. Pete wants a boy. But technically we’d have either, wouldn’t we!

I’m 3 months and 6 days pregnant. One third of the way through it. I’m like a tumbling pregnant, kitty cat, nightmare. I keep falling off my own feet and rolling.

I’ve never felt so in love in my whole entire life. I’ve never felt so complete in my whole entire life. (Oh lord…it’s making me fill up.) I mean, it’s the most beautiful emotion you’ll ever experience. It sort of doesn’t hit you at first, but then when you realize that you’ve created a ‘life’…and it’s living in the warmth of your body…it’s overwhelming. I wanna cry first…then completely CELEBRATE!!!! I now truely understand what happiness is.

Anyway, before i start getting all weepy. 🙂 The little bambion’s predicted due date is Feb 19th…so it could actually come out on Valentines day! We’re both so happy. Our families are over the moon. I can’t belive my eyes and well on the way home Pete was in his own world. It’s the first time he’s managed to feel a part of the pregnancy properly. He’s a daddy…infact, he started to act a little masterful towards the end of the drive home, to the point where i found myself saying ‘Don’t you over-ride my power!’ Hahah! *TRAGICAL* I do wonder what he’s actually thinking? I’ll find out and tell you later.

Straight after the scan, i was filled with ‘Ooohh laa laaaaaaaa’ and galloped out of Ponty hospital with one of those smiles that just happen and because you can’t seem to hold it back. Even Loverboy said he was soooo happy, that he didn’t even notice it was raining.

Everything was lovely and glamourous, it was like i was leaping through a Summer’s day, but in the pissing rain of Yorkshire.

I’m now finally home, after waiting in a car whilst Pete viewed an appartment. I was placed in a Fiat, to keep me out of the rain. Hardly glamourous, but fuck it, i’m pregnant! Yipppeeee!

I’m taking the rest of the day off, to do happy dances at home! Pete unfotrunately has a very busy day! He worked all morning, went to the scan, made a biewing appoitnment, then staright away had to get off to work again, and he’s all go…ALL day! I wonder what he’s truely thinking? I mean, i know he obviously loves it all. Yet, with him being so busy he is yet to absorb the pokery!

I mean i thought i had absored it, but it didn’t really *hit* me until i wrote this blog and completely burst into tears! I’m an actual mummy to be. *breathes. *

Oh my fricking GOD!!

Fyi, Wuzzle Gummage and an evil scarecrow looking bird went in after us. She had no teeth, mens clothes and a denim addiction. More than anything, I hope their scan went well!!! I mean at the end of the day, we’re all bringing lives into the world…so i wish her all the best! In that moment, both Wuzzle Gummage’s bird and I, were the same. Nothing was different, but our meaty flesh exteriors. We made brief eye contact, in a warm white hospital waiting room. Our connection expressed our story, within a second. She felt what i felt. She knew what i knew. I looked away quickly…but only because the denim on denim concotion she had come up with, was a bit too much for me at that time of day. I needed pills to accept that little fashion crime. 🙂

But honestly…everything has been put into perspective. My scan has changed my world.


(Why are there a ridiculous amount of people talking to me about ‘ass fucking’ on facebook? How disrespectful! Helllo I’m having a baby??? There was no back door entrance there. Infact, i should be the new poster child for SAFE SEX! The men still haven’t backed off…not even a little. They’re all still happily being gross and going on about how they want to [write something really dirty here] even though i’m preggars… Gross..Yes….Yet always my life! Eww…one boy is currentlytrying to make me ‘les’ up!! EWWW!!! I now want a boy! The daughter of Miss.Wunna would will get eaten alive by pervs!)

7 thoughts on “Mummy to Be!”


    Honestly if that child takes the attention off my 30th on the 16th I’m fully going to kick off! 🙂

    (I’m excited for you really though!! CONGRATULATIONS!!)

  2. OMG imagine if it actually is BORN on YOUR birthday! How random! If it’s likeme, it will steal your birthday lime light. if it’s like Pete…it’ll just settle for Valentines day!

  3. Hey Wunna!! An amasing experience, so happy everything went well. Hugs to you and the ever fertile Pete!! Salutaions heheheh xxxx
    p.s just had to typ the captcha code to submit this comment, it was NHS heheh hi5!!

  4. Thankyou Brett! I’m loving every moment of being a ‘soon to be’

    John- hahah i can’t even believe it. thankyou so much bunny for the love. We’ll me sending some of Pete’s mega spunk ur way. Or even better…Pete. lol

    DK: Thankyou lovely! Yeah it’s not so scary now. I’m over the moon! We haven’t thought of names yet. We’re waiting to find out whether it’s a girl or a boy first. Even that’s nerve wracking. I LOVE it.


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