Make a little love…

Oh go on then…kill my Facebook newsfeed and Twitter timeline with grand gestures of Valentines affection! I’m ready for it. I have my safety jacket on and i’m all eyes, ears and heart to champion through a gzillion pictures, photos and other ‘things to make me jealous’ that will make me exceedingly jealous of you. 🙂

To be honest, it’s kinda a nice feeling seeing that so many of you  (and i mean girls) have been completed treated to little tokens of affection from your other halves and that so many of you are going on ‘Date Nights.’ (I’m a sucker for it really, but it truly does make me smile. I mean, it’s much better than being in love and being completely disregarded by the person who is meant to love you and I know a lot of both men and women will go through that today. I’m not in that box, because i feel as thought i’m surrounded by adoration (lol) even if i am or not. That’s the key to success. )

So, loads of guys inboxed me last night telling me to show them my dress options, so that they could pick what I would wear? Now, I don’t know if they’re just helpful, creative, perverted or what? But guys…it’s a girl thing. I’m a girly girl and when men choose what you’re going to wear (unless they’re a guy buddy that you’ve asked an opinion of..or your best gay matey) then you can’t join the ‘dress picking’ party. Haha. I’m actually not that indecisive when it comes to  things that i adore, yet i really do appreciate the helpful gents and the ones that were just being funny. However, the ones that were being pervs….SLAPPED WRISTS! HAHAHA. I think often people see me as this little doll, or wild mistress of femme and once they’ve sneaked into Wunna land, which i really don’t mind and they’ve gotten themselves all comfy… they then like to possess,  control and contain me, so that no one else can share me. I make gents feel terrified by accident.

(I’m currently smeared in tan that needs washing off. I feel like Bob Monkhouse.)

Okay, anyway….last night I fell asleep to this weird mediation music and partly to keep me stress free, as the babies were away, but mainly because i found it funny and it made me think of massages. (You know what I mean. It’s the part of the event where you know your massage is about to begin, kick off and get busy, as soon as the lady whops on the CD filled with wild calming music. APART FROM THAT TIME, WHEN I GOT THAT SHITTY WALK IN MASSAGE FROM THAT BRUTAL CHINESE LADY IN CAMDEN. Holy shit! The way that chick massaged me, certainly suggested that her Mother didn’t love her, or that her Mother didn’t love her, she hated me and got her period all at the same time! She fucking beat the comedy SHIT OUT OF ME (hahaha) to weird pan pipe music and it was so awful that i literally cracked up laughing, whilst in pain! I felt bad because people were sat down waiting outside the room for ‘their turn.’ Don’t have a Chinese massage. They kill. I think i even called her a bitch. (The awful think about it was that I didn’t know at the time but i was five weeks pregnant with Ruby! So no wonder my child is so high strung!)

Since it’s Valentines day and you’re all loved up and i’m all single…(YET READY TO MINGLE TONIGHT WITH MY BUDDY BUDS, flirt with boys, guzzle some vodka, do a little dance, make a little love…i believe that’s how the protocol goes, I wouldn’t know 😉 ) I thought i’d share some one of my Valentines memories with you…to get you in the mood…

One year…and this was back in the day when I was happy and married to Michael In Hollywood, who is now en route to movie stardom! As if he’s been in movies with Tom Cruise and i’m smeared in tan in Ponty. Well done him! Well…anyway, one year being the terrible romantic that I am, I decided to buy him a giant odd looking pair of kissing fish, that were PINK. They were fat, gormless looking things, but bright pink, with wide eyes and whenever their mouths touched…they’d SNOG! I know! How cute!

Bought them for him the day before. On Valentines, for the big reveal they had died. 🙂 ‘Daaaaaa! Daaa!) Unfortunately, I can’t do anything by halves, so i had bought a whole bunch of other tiny fish to put in the tank, that all died toooo. Your’e not meant to do that. I sort of replaced the one of the big pink fish, just for remembrance and well he named it ‘Joe.’

A great gift idea…a shitty reveal…but the reason why it’s romantic is because it’s a story that we’ll remember FOREVER! Like with most things i fuck up…i made a memory and that’s all that matters. So when he’s on his rocking chair, at 80 years old on Feb 14th, he’ll remember the pink fish named ‘Joe’ and his crappy ex wife.

He made up for it by taking me out to dinner at some divine restaurant somewhere in LA for dinner. Luxurious, posh, pricey and we were sat next to Tom Hanks and his wife! (I love Tom Hanks.)

After everything that i’ve been through with love and i’ve romanced hundreds of men and I say ‘romanced’ because in my head it’s always felt that way. I’ve lived, I’ve loved and it’s been magical. I mean, I dated so many guys in LA and I married some some great men. I mean, Keiran was the ‘King of Romance’ like I had told you and I appreciate all that, as he wanted to make me smile.

Yet now, and on a more serious note, as you do hear me ramble on about no flowers, no cards, no choccies…continuously. What i’ve learnt is that true romance is shown through utter commitment, trust, love and friendship. It is FAR more romantic to see a couple who have made it through 80 years together, shared live, experiences and the world, as a team, then it is getting a bunch of roses from a guy you’ve had a one night stand with, who’ll not be speaking to you in a month.

Yet, I don’t look at it too harshly, as even that moment when I guy (be he a one night stand or a ‘forever’)…in that moment, when he didn’t have to get you anything, he did…

So let’s just celebrate love anyway!

And if you’re single…do what we’re this evening and GET YOURSELF OUT THERE in the name of FUN!


 

 

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