Woke up still drunk so i KNEW i had a great night. I had Wazza next to me in bed, who had jollied all the way up from Yorkshire to come play with me. I loved him being here, because he keeps the Yorkshire in me, the down to earthness. He’s known me for 15 years and well no matter what, this boy knows how to kick the Hollywood out of me, when neccessary. We went to bed really late, after talking about life, love my poor choices and how he fancied ‘Tiger Lilly.’ I can’t remember half the conversation, i was trashed, but after showing him around London for a little bit, after leaving him for 5 hours…i left him again with our other friend Narelle in Leicester square, coz i had to go make an appearance at The MayFair club…for charity.
OMG. FUN NIGHT! I was all fine and dandy, being all glamourous and attention whorey, aware that my ex boyfriend was also in the same venue, but sad because i didn’t have time to talk to him. And why didn’t i have time? (I hear you cry…but not really, coz it’s not as if you care.) Well two words REX NEWMARK. (Yep the ginner off Big Brother 9.)
So Rex and I are really good friends. We’re both awful, we both have this direct harshness about us, but more than anything we get along like a house on fire and simply because we have the same DIRTY, evil sense of humour. He’s quite laddish and i’m quite Glamour pussy, and well add sarcasm, booze, tattoos, and humour at the expense of others and you have a delicious treat of dickheaded behaviour. WE ROCKED…and got far much attention for our own good.
I can’t remember it all, but i will tell you that not only did i find myself being propped in Giant feathered Angel wings (that Rex had previously stolen with a hot Russian chick), but i was being photographed in them, and being told to writhe around a pole, like a broken angel. My wings had even been shot at. When i took them off, no-one wanted to photograph me anymore. I really was nothing without those wings. Nothing!!!
I laughed, i danced, i nuisanced and stayed sexy. Rex decided to be all over me for most of the night, (even though his girl for the night, was there, talking to a well endowed black man) breaking my beads, cocking about, giving me pecks, doing impressions of Lady Gaga, falling all over the place..being hilarious. We pretty much annoyed everyone..to the merry sounds of ‘Tiger Lilly,’ who i adore. Lovely girl. I mean, i’ve never got to hear and sing, so it was great that i finally managed too…and brilliant she was….sexy too. I think she’s definitely gonna end up doing pretty goddamn well. Infact, how dare she try to ‘out sexy’ me!! Well it was kinda HER night, so maybe i was trying to ‘out sexy’ everyone. I’ll wear white to your wedding. Don’t think i won’t!! Hahah…I wish someone would wear white at mine…i’d beable to sneakily switch places and give them my ‘Happy ever after.’ But yeah ‘Tiger’ (hot name much) rocks!
Then Rex showed me his cock. He dared me to get my tits out. (I mean honey please…it’s harder work mer keeping them in.) And after him throwing a nail brush, a shoe horn, another nail brush and a bit of ego down the front of my rather fantastic sequinned playsuit…I told him to get his willy out, if he wanted to view a tit. (All’s fair in love and beer.) In four seconds flat, it was out and being wiggled like it was Elvis..infront of innocent charity event goers, giant sized football players, the russian mafia, magazines. I honour him for this moment and therefore he will stay on my list of ‘Greatness,’ for some time. I’m glad he was there, coz i can be as naughty as can be…but he makes me look tame.
I also did pretty well with the boys that night. Y’know scored a few numbers, a few call mes, a fitness trainer, a footballer (who can’t win raffles) and a ginner. Loved it. Great night. Infact, i’ve had a great day today and well Richard Rees…amazing man. He does PR and i always get the 10 star treament with him. He lets me be a diva.
I had a choice that night afterward. I could’ve gone had sex with a footie player. (How unorginal.) Gone and got pissed with Lady Gaga..(and i have done that before….boast boast, name drop.) But instead, i called up my dear Yorkshire bestie Wazza. Got in one of those bike wheely cabs to Leicester square for the random sake of humour. Got cheered at by perverts (woohoo love it)…then met little Waz back at my appartment for more drinks and a glorious ‘pass-out.‘
Life couldn’t be any better really. AND i made up with a friend today..who after talking things out with…i felt amazing about again. I’m feeling good. No great and well i hope you are too. xx