I’ve just spent a moment of my life hiding under a tree with Keiran. Hiding is an art form that really shouldn’t be associated with cowardice, as it really is an impressive tool when you’ve messed everything up and can’t find a swift enough exit. I’ve had to hide a great deal in life and i’ve done it quite glamourous. However today, I plucked in my elegant, over the top, glammy updo, slipped into a yellow NEON ‘I never learn’ summer dress, (one that draped off me like I was the Queen of the world), placed on my chunky and somewhat pointy diamante bracelet and decided that Junior, Keiran and I should go on a walk…
We flooded out the door like we had just hit the Caribbean shores of ‘exotico’ and ended up having to HIDE UNDER A TREE, which was BY A BUSH and simply because it ended up PISSING IT DOWN with rain. This is the story of my life. I looked like a right plonker. But this is why you don’t drink numerous coffees through a straw, one after the other. It makes you get all excited about shit things like walking. It goes straight to your head and before you know it, you’re hiding under a tree with ya husband and second born….in FRICKING NEON.
The good thing was that we found it hilarious. Keiran was all..’another one of Mummy’s bright ideas…’ 🙂 We’ve been playful and silly with each other all morning and he’s looking at me like i’m making his little school boy heart beat that little bit faster. We’ve giggled at each other, tickled each other, playfully scorned each other and squeezed each others privates for fun. He’ll grab my boobs, do a stupid voice and say, ‘Give me them boobies.’ I do a face at him like I disapprove, but then giggle. Then I’ll attempt to grab his willy…he’ll squirm and ban me from touching it and then we both stop, ponder and then piss ourselves laughing. We actually haven’t had sex in ages and it doesn’t really bother either of us too much. We’ve grown up a little more and extremely settled in our relationship. It seems really bizarre that our connection and bond is larger than ‘bonking’ to most. 🙂 However, I think that’s why we ended up together, because as individuals, people see us as ‘bonks,’ but WE weirdly never ever saw each other as that. He just wanted me to be his wife and I just wanted him to be my husband. We shook on ‘life partner’s and went with it after date 1. We’re doing okay so far. But he’s apparently saving himself for our anniversary. Pahaha. I’m saving myself for my NEXT life. 🙂 He thinks that after he’s surprised romanced me, I’ll be SO SUPER in love with him that i’ll ‘put out.’ #ohkeiran
I have had to tell him off today though because he can’t seem to have a conversation with me without it ending with him wanting me to do something for him. ‘Babe, tickle my bum…Babe…can I have a nettle tea….BAAABE…can you make me a snack…’ It never stops. I mean, he can defend the entire country from terrorists and other bomby delights, but can’t for the life of him make himself a sandwich. I don’t think so! I’m going to have to lock him in a cellar or something in the end, as he’s an ‘I need I need, I need’ husband. He’s treated all his other chicks waaay better than me, I’m sure of it. He was all ‘I don’t want to settle down, so let’s just bonk and be happy,’ with them. They had no responsiblity but the art of drinking free shots and’ putting out.’ With me it’s ‘Marry me, great, I’m giving you diamonds, now make me food.’ I do tend to shout at him a lot, but y’see I think that’s what a good wife is there for. We’re not here to ‘yes’ you when you’re doing wrong, but put you on the ‘straight and narrow.’ You don’t mess with Miss.Wunna and get away with it smiling. I’ll trip you up before your smile ends. 🙂
These days he laughs when I tell him off because he thinks it’s cute and then asks me for more things. His only reply to my complaint is ‘Yeah, but you’re my wife.’ And that is exactly right. I’m also a WIFE who wears stilettos and one may one day, find one rammed in places that you never would have imagined a Jimmy Choo could possibly ram. I’ll probably be in neon for dramatic effect. I’m not Cinderella before she went to the ball! I got to that darn it ball and stayed there. There’s no room in my life for anymore cups of tea making and gusset scrubbing. I’m just not good at it and really in life we must all play our roles appropriately and stick to our strengths. Mine is looking like a doll to get out of trouble. I’m TROPHY WIFE. That’s all I have to do, so leave me ALONE.
We’re having a good time right now because it’s coming up to our one year wedding anniversary, meaning two years of ‘us being togetherness’ and with us both being little love bunnies, it sort of means a jolly great deal. Especially to me because firstly I love him, yet secondly I’ve never been good at holding down a long term relationship or marriage. Two years is practically ‘forever time,’ for me. If a boy can put up with me for that long, then he’s a keeper. Plus, he’s much more mellow these days is Keiran. I don’t know whether it’s Daddy hood, or whether he’s foolishly falling for me more and more 🙂 but yes, he’s a mushy dreamboat at present and let me tell you…I LOVE IT. (He’s mushy when he’s confident that I love him. I’m his foundation and without it he feels he can’t succeed..well so he says, on sofa’s under chandeliers.)
I can’t believe it’s 3 o clock already!!
So yes, life is grand. I think we’re both a little terrified that we might not make our life the way we actually want it to be, so we’re panicking a little and trying to get our work head on. I’m one to know that you get out of life what you put it, but sometimes, you’ve just got to sit back and let your natural destiny take you were you’re meant to wander. We’re gonna be fine. He needs to realize that it’s not a race. I need to work harder and practice what I preach.
Hope you didn’t have to hide under trees today…
Happy Friday. I have an easy weekend, then a busy week ahead. I can’t seem to schedule people on. BUT I DID, get that good news phone call today. FINALLY. Now I can keep my fingers crossed and move forward with hope
Leaving you with some of this mornings family pics. I’m going Instagram crazy. @chrissiewunna