My strength as a woman,as a kitten, as a female should never be underestimated. Due to a whole lot of life experience, a Hollywood stint, a telly stint, a normal life issues episode and all the rest of the jiggery pokery that comes along with it. I’m still here and standing tall, with a gentle kitty beam, an open heart and a wiggle. Yeah, I might have a Princess weep, or I might pull the glammy curtain down on life for a few moments, or I might have a shout, a moment of ‘lose myself’…good luck, bad luck and a jolly does of the heebie jeebies…but i’m strong. I’m strong because I can always mend everything. I can bounce back like Sheerah’s boobies and I can do it ALL with a smile and MAKE YOU ALL feel GREAT whilst I’m doing it.
My hearts in the right place and I’m surrounded by love. You can always see a good heart because no matter what it can’t help but show when times get tricky and life kicks you up the backside. I could tell you how hard everything’s been, but instead i’m gonna tell you how lucky I am to be blessed with everything that I am, have and will be. But first, let me take you back to yesterday…
Oh my god! So, like i’m not going through enough already. I’m never one to shelf anything or block anything out, as I feel that it’s unhealthy to not go ahead and FEEL emotion. You have to be able to feel, in order to do the right thing, don’t ya?
Yesterday I had a hospital day and well to those who don’t know me personally, I’m EXTREMELY SQUEAMISH when it comes to hospitals, needles, blood…any of that. I’m so dramatic that I could win trophies for it. I don’t even bother with ‘the front’ of bravado. I embrace little scaredy cat Wunna with a whole heart and I play the roll like a champion. *Dolly sad face.* Oscar to moi!
Junior decided to be ill the evening before. Coughing,spluttering, nagging, moaning. Lol. He gets like that when he’s ill because of course, he suffers from man flu. All he wants is to be loved and cuddled. I give him that, because you just can’t help it. He’s too cute..even at his worst.
Yet JESUS HAIL MARY…he is the HEAVIEST BABY IN MANKIND. I swear that i’ve bred King Kong. Lifting him about EVERYWHERE FOR HOURS and through the flipping night…LOL…is a workout in itself. My arms, back and tummy now KILL from two days of carrying my own loin fruit. Who is this boy!?! 🙂
I mean, I don’t know what I’m gonna do when he gets older, but is still a baby? I could go all ‘Hollywood’ and hire a ‘Manny’ (a male nanny…yes they do exist) who comes and carries around my King Kong son for me, so I can simply make a cuppa tea. (I’ve had no booze in ages. I mean I have rubbish working arms anyhow, let alone wine arms.) OR I’m just gonna have to plonk him in a diamanate wheelbarrow and wheel him around the house, just for a little breather. He likes me to do this ‘throwing him up and down into the skies, near the chandelier’ thing with him. Erm…? Right! Lovely! Hahaha. It’s like me throwing him up into the air, when I say the air, I mean just 1 cm. I’m not strong. 🙂 And then being terrified that he’s going to BOULD ME OVER on his heavy return. I squeal through it in fear, as he giggles madly and innocently, like life couldn’t get any better. It’s like throwing up a little boulder but then CATCHING A FLIPPING SUMO WRESTLER..WITH TEN TON WEIGHTS ATTACHED TO HIS ANKLES. (He’s started to rock out to his Fisherprice ghetto blaster now. He’s found his inner party. 🙂 )
So yeah, bottom line, I was deliciously knackered and a little stressed yesterday. Morning dawned. I’d been up for most of it. Couldn’t sleep, due to a troubled mind. Drama. Babies. Drama. Then an early nursery run, followed by a separate trip to the Doctors to drop off wee in a sample bottle. Sexy, I know. 🙂 I even saw my old RE teacher, who always loves to stop and talk to me. My teachers adore me. Probably because i’m chatty. I know he appreciates his tie with me. The oldies do, dont’ they. 🙂 He smiled and told me that he was off to get his ‘5 a day’…meaning old age function pills, as I told him that I had my own urine in my hand. 🙂 It’s how life goes. It was great weather.
Got home, baby free….did two applications for the previous auditions that I had subjected myself too. One of them didn’t get the full audition video and the other one….well I did really well on the other one. 🙂 I hope I do well on both actually because it truly is my forte, but there’s one in particular that I really think I’m made for. (I spoke to them last night via email, so hopefully it all goes well.) The work part of the day was completed. Didn’t have time to blog.
Rushed off to Pinderfields hospital to go to my thyroid appointment. Not thinking too much of it. Just figured a doctor would feel up my neck and tell me there was a lump, followed by the next step. Name called. Sat in the chair. Really lovely doctors. THEN HOLY INAPPROPRIATENESS. The lady doctor pulls out the largest, most fattest needle I have ever seen and tells me that she’s going to JAB IT IN MY THROAT and SUCK OUT THE FLUID FROM MY NECK (with a syringe not her mouth…this isn’t as interesting as Vampire Diaries) FOR SAMPLING.
Her helper smiled and asked me if I was allergic to plasters? PLASTERS???
‘NO!’ I shouted. ‘ I’m allergic to giant flipping,neck sucking needles.’ 🙂 Followed by laughter of course, I’m a showman after all.
Jabbed it in my throat. Killed. Sucked out fluid and blood…and to my utter luck no-one could fine the correct ‘whatever they were looking for,’ some bag or something, to plonk the needle in? God knows! It was like a Carry On film, but less sexy.
So the doctor was holding the needle in my neck, whilst her helper rushed around rummaging through drawers, pockets, knickers..everything. LOL. You should’ve seen my face. Pahaha. Priceless. There I was, sat in a chair, in coral…with big worried dolly eyes and GIANT ‘I am Miss.World’ hair, half terrified, but half laughing, with a NEEDLE jabbed into my throat, a lady doctor on the end of it, doing the holding and posh panicking, whilst a lady in blue, ran around like a squirrel on acid, trying to find some bag to put my dirty needle in. HAHAHAHA. It ended with a ‘ooh sorry, it’s bled on your top.’ 🙂 DEVASTATION. I’m never one to worry about things spilling down my top. I hate it when people get all panicky about spillage. ‘Ooh,it’s on my jeans. Ooh…it’s on my cardy.’ People who worry about little spills focus on the WRONG things in life. It’s a tell tale sign dolls. If i spill red wine, down a white dress, i’ll ROCK that stain like the foxiest kitten in town. You’ll all want one by tomorrow.
Anway, the bag got found. Then she plonked the fluid into the same kind of sample bottle that I had my own wee in a few hours ago. I thought I was GLAMOUR PUSS EXTRA ORDINAIRE. Not ‘Heebie Mama, open throat, jabbed hooligan.’
Then she whammed a giant plaster on my neck. 🙂 An unfortunate accessory really. I had to walk around with a beige plaster, slapped onto my throat, a big one plaster, that really didn’t match my fake tan or Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation. That was devastating and I did tell her that.
Thought all was done, but no! She assured me that she was setting me up on a date. Not a fun, go to dinner and fall in love kinda date. (I haven’t been on a date in ages.) But a date with a male doctor who is in charge of seeing me every two weeks at the hospital. He will not buy me flowers, love me and give me steak. Instead he will jab another needle into my neck and suck more fluid out, until he feels I can go to surgery. DELCIOUS. 🙂 WHAT THE HELL IS MY LIFE! LOL
All this would’ve been alright. But behind this showy curtain, I had a lot going on in my head and in my heart. (Look at me snapping you right back to reality. I’m good like that. There are ISSUES in Wunna land.)
I then had to go to a surprise blood test to test my hormone levels because if my thyroid is hyper or something? It will have been affecting my natural hormone balance, which will have made me extra feisty. If that’s the case, they have to give me pills to balance it all out. Jeepers. What the hell is going on? It would make me feel better though because I have been rather feisty over the past year. I’m not naturally that way inclined. I just figured it was pregnancy. I feel quite happy and positive though now. I’m not weak by any means. But i’m not fake strong. Just ‘sizzle.’ 😉
Blood test, boring, but done quickly. Hate waiting rooms. They’re pointless and bizarre. Plus, everyone thinks i’m weird because i’m not one to refrain from glaring at people. I think folk decide to pretend that other folk aren’t sat in a waiting room with them. If you have someone with you, then that’s fine, you can natter to them. But if you are on your own, like I was…you need to glare at others and nosey into their lives,whilst you’re having a sit down. I hate being on my own. Loneliness sucks balls during those moments. Especially in waiting rooms because it points out how alone you actually are. Lovely! Lovely!
THEN, stuff happened…and I had to rush to A & E…more waiting…more charming the staff…more little chats with nurses and concerns…then more samples followed by being summoned to BED REST, a joy that I have to ‘nod at’ yet never get the luxury to have. 🙂 BED REST, MY ARSE! As if! I had an online conference meeting to get to with China by 4pm at home, followed by a nursery run, a two year old and a poorly 7 month old. I had bottle sot make, tea to cook, washing to to, auditions to saunter through…the house ot organize for the children…No bed rest was taken. Junior was ill all night,. I was up ON MY FEET, KNACKERED…LOL, BOUNCING HIM UP AND DOWN until he calmed. The Ruby decided there were monsters in her room, so I had to go from room to room all night. My arms ached, my legs, ached, my tummy ached and my back ached. That was my bed rest. 🙂 Hahaha. But there’s no point in moaning, as what could I do. Nothing. Life can’t just stop, when you have responsibilites. I promised to love and care for my winkles forever and I do. I promised myself to push the work thing this year and I am.
The good thing is that NOW, I am having a resty-roo. I’m sat down blogging. I’m breathing. I’m calm and well…yeah. That’s all I can say right now…just yeah.
I’ve noticed that i’ve turned into my mother. I love my mum madly and she’s always there for me. But her bad points are that fact that if she has something go wrong in her life, she takes it out on me, verbally and often aggressively…which causes sparks. She did that yesterday, FROMAN ENTIRE OTHER COUNTRY, then saw that she did, so calmed down. It made me look at myself and see how much I didn’t like that trait and how much I actually do that myself. It’s wrong. I’ll never do that again. People only respond to love and kindness. I know I do. Luckily, My daddy was filled with love and kindness and hes’ quite wise because he’s a guy who will always guide me right and always encourage me to do the right thing. He’s whole hearted and loving and open and when it come sot matters of the heart we see things through the same eyes. He’s stubborn and annoying too…to my mum anyway. But that’s just love, life and joy. They adore their marriage and well 33 years later…they’re still doing it. (I’m getting a flash back of a man I once met on a train who had told me that he had been married to his wife for 40 years and that even to this day he was STILL excited by her. 🙂 ) And look at my friend Kim and Dave, married after 2 weeks and 18 years later they’e still together, with their two children and happy!
So far this year I have 4 different weddings to go to, which means in 2013, you all fell in love. 🙂 Makes me really happy. I love, love. Some of the couples went through the hardest times, some of them went through the easiest, some of them are on Cloud 9, after a rush of sudden love, hit them with Cupids arrow and others have just been friends for years, who fell for each other.
It doesn’ t matter how you DO love. There’s no rules and I hate it when people play to rules when it comes to love. As long as you DO love, you’ll always be powerful. The trick is to keep it simple. Plus, Life is too short not toooooooo. I’m so excited for the upcoming weddings and I’m happy to know that every second of each moment, people are still falling in love.
Next month i make my first big order or my lash line. EEk! Please do all order a pair when they come out. I can even put you on a pre order list, so I can tell you personally when they are out!
It’s all going perfectly and well I think I finally found my niche.
Oh and I’m back on your telly this year 😉