‘Loser’s don’t get their muscles rubbed…’#

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Facebook was filled with genuine status moans from quite a few of the male species, who so happen to be chilling on my friends list. It was hilarious and actually made a great night time read. Not because the men were in despair. Yet because they were all weirdly opening up, like drunks who needed love. They were simply dashed over with the sensitive art of femininity and just needed a cuddle. PAHAHAH. I love it! I mean, i’m a girl that loves a sensitive man because i’ve dated so many of you boys that I now have an odd super power of being able to briefly read you within the first few minutes of knowing you. Sort of like I did with Keiran..who ended up being the next lucky ‘Mr.Wunna.’ Lol.

However, yes! I scanned Facebook statuses from boys reading,

‘Don’t you just hate it when girls say, *where are all the good guys!* They’re in the FRIEND ZONE, where you left them…’

and

‘I’m tired of her treating me like I don’t mean anything to her! What’s so good about partying with her friends all the time.’

It was sooo adorable and it sort of represents a definite slide in the balance of roles. Men will always play ‘macho,’ when with other boys. It’s in their nature to have to. However, they’ve learnt that it doesn’t get them too far with savvy girls, who make ‘wifey.’ It’s good to see them be honest and open about how they actually feel at times and not just quietly in a corner with a chick friend, but publicly on a giant old Facebook status for thousands to read.

Before there was a definite ‘Double Standard,’ like with the sex thing. A guy who boned everything, (including a bunch of average girls, their friends, as it’s the easiest pull & girls they don’t want you to know that ย they’ve bonked) USED to be called ‘Champions.’ Where as girls who would do the same, would be called ‘Sluts.’ I always say, a key that opens every lock gets labelled a ‘Master Key’ and a lock that opens with every key is called a ‘Shitty lock.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

Now, it’s different. Men who shag around have their willies labelled ‘dirty.’ If they’re poor, they’re seen as ‘not husband material.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ If they treat you liKE rubbish, women immediately know they can do better and do, after shattering the man’s name amongst her friends and every other girl he attempts to date in the future. If they’re ill, they have Man flu, not a real sickness and if they have chick friends, they’re not to be trusted. It’s hard for them really. It’s quite challenging being a dude who dates. However it just means they’ve had to either learn women, comply to the ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ cliche or simply study our tricks of the trade and be smart enough to use them to their advantage. Hence why after saying ‘aww’ at the statuses on last night’s Facebook ‘lonely heart’ bonanza, I also reminded myself that the men could simply be hunting for ‘pity’ valentines bonks, by using out powers against us! ๐Ÿ™‚ Boys need to be loved, just as much as girls…I mean Keiran is worse than I am. He needs to be consumed by love constantly…which isn’t really a bad thing. He’s a great example of how a man should be emotionally, regardless as to how he’s projected himself in the past. Being able to read him and understand him is very important. Things aren’t always how they seem.

But anyway, I was feeling fluey last night and even more so today. (I’m far less dynamic with the flu AND a human residing in my belly all at the same time. I can’t concentrate on anything, as my mind is a fuzzle and my wiggle is a wuzzle. AND I HAVE another 3pm meeting today, with a new client.) Then as Keiran gets home from work and after I managed to get him zero food for tea. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Wjhat? I’m sick.) He playfully accused me of hiding an entire MAN in the cupboard, which he changed to a man and a woman, which he changed to me obviously having a nose bleed due to imaginary drug taking and blowjobs? Lol. I just looked at him and said, ‘I’m ILL YOU IDIOT. LOVE ME. I HAVE A SNOTTY NOSE! I NEED A CUDDLE!’ As if I have time for a cupboard man!

He’s in Sheffield working this week and well we’re not actually that used to being away from one another, as we do a lot of work together..at home in the office. Anyway, enough of that…he’s really horny right now and 3 days ago he attempted the lovey dovey approach, The next day he tried the ‘just feel her up without her permission & see what happenns’ approach and well LAST NIGHT, he went with the ‘right i’m just going to threaten her’ approach. Hahaha.

My cheeky little husband, after i demanded a cuddle and he began turning his ‘man in the cupboard’ story into a kinky role play to try and make me feel saucy. (I can’t even SEE ย right now due to flu, let alone get my vagina to work. Even that’s probably sneezing without me even knowing! It has a life of it’s own, I tells ya!) He then says, after he doesn’t ‘hit the jackpot’ and I simply blow my Burmese nose into a snot rag, that if i don’t ‘put out’ he’ll have to find it somewhere else! WHAT!!!!!! :0 Now, he was joking as he quickly backed up to being lovely after it blurted out of his mouth. I just looked at him laughing, whilst saying ‘eww…now you’re threatening me for sex..’ He’s cute. I better hurry up and ‘put out’ soon. No blow jobs though. I can’t BREATHE out OF my NOSE and i’m simply far too fabulous to be going out like that. ‘Oh Wunna died giving a blowjob, i knew her well.’ Lovely! NOT!

He then went on to tell me the story of how my bestie chick friend ‘Kelly’ had stood him up over the weekend. He did a sad puppy face, like he was sad he got stood up. (Fyi/ Kelly does accounts…it wasn’t a date. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) I laughed at the fact that he got stood up, which is awful of me, since if it was a girl that got stood up i’d be all sad for her and find it zero percent funny. (I’ve been stood up twice AND by unworthy men!) Anyway, he was all sad that he had obviously lost his ‘mojo’ and asked me to stroke his muscles as he flexed a bicep infront of my face, as I was dying on the sofa. He needed the muscle stroke for ego comfort. I looked at it and said, ‘Loser’s don’t get their muscles rubbed.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ We giggled and then went to bed. Where he tried to bring up kinky cupboard man again? But once again added an imaginary girl and said’ gang band.’ EWWWW!! I’m ILL AND i’m fricking CHRISSIE WUNNA, off the telly, model extraordinaire and everything ;)…I don’t need to do things like that to ease my loneliness! I snap my fingers and men rush towards, tripping over their willies, armed with engagement rings. HAHAHAHA. (Oh shut it. I’m ill, so i’m trying to overcompensate with attempting to fit in, by being funny.)

I shouldn’t have shown him that maturefinding.com website. A dating site that has single women over 40, who are looking to date. Toyboy’s love it, as they can snag themselves a bit of mummy love. However, I was told that it was meant to be the ‘wiggle back’ at SugarDaddie.com, but how is it?

The sugar daddy websites are filled with single old men, MILLIONAIRES, who are looking for young pretty, poor women to date. We forgive men for being older and less attractive, if they have millions don’t we? I mean, in my case, not enough to DATE. Yet we do sort of look at them differently, if they are successful. Money almost buys them looks. ๐Ÿ™‚

The Mature finding is just older women…in their 40’s who want to date younger men. They don’t provide for them and the boys don’t get paid. They just bonk them, have them as their boyfriend and move them into their house. The rest the boy has to take care of. Maybe that is what men prefer?

It’s funny though because I showed Keiran a picture of a one of the women on the site. (It was obviously a bought picture of a model that i’ve placed upon their site for promo…THEN I showed him an actual picture of a lady who wished to date, who had signed up to the sight. VERY DIFFERENT! ๐Ÿ™‚

I can’t even think anymore. My flu has got the better of me. I have a 3pm meeting again today, with a new client. (I have my own social media business now, remember.) I’ve got to find us a spray tan after 5.30pm in Pontefract and tomorrow we’re both off to London, not to see The Queen, but to film and tend a baby press launch.

I need coffee.

 

 

 

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