Happy weekend! You made it through. Hope you’re well? If you found yourself here, may I wish you the loveliest & most blessed few days.
I’ve just come off a ‘drama’ phone call…So I’m trying to find my little piece peace of ‘Zen,’ y’know instead of giving in, to a mist of absolute, utter RAGE! Lol.
It’s weird because my world is literally & usually filled with so much love. However, I’ve noticed that the more popular I become…(even if it’s only the TINIEST, little nudge up that rickety, old, success ladder, ) the MORE people decide to ‘drama’ on into it. I’m feisty. Yes. Yet only when I have to be. I don’t go about dishing out ‘feist.’ It takes it out of me because I don’t like to waste time on negativity or anger.
I mean, someone actually went out of their jolly, misguided way, to try and threaten Ruby & I this morning??? Eh?? Is everyone nuts? You can’t force yourself upon us? Plus, how do you expect us to let you into our world or our hearts, when you approach us with ya ‘crazy pants’ on!!! We don’t like it at all…We couldn’t be MORE open hearted or understanding. However, there is a line.
Don’t be nuts.
You also THEN shouldn’t see it as a challenge or a ‘curve ball,’ because the reaction you got wasn’t what you maybe expected. I mean, today, the drama was followed up with ridicule, jealousy, assumptions, disrespect & hate, after the mild rejection. What is wrong with people?
I looked at Ru….and she was calm, but stern. She tilted her eyes up at me. She does that when she wants me to sort it. So I did.
But it’s getting ridiculous. It’s almost like we’re now having to block everyone out of our world…and only let the sane ones through, just so we stay safe, happy & free from stress. Lol. Thankfully there’s loads of sane people and many great friends. In fact so many people that I’m grateful for.
However, when a ‘crazy’ comes in, it’s exhausting & stressful. My head fuzzes up. It’s a time waster. My worst thing. Especially when we’ve got so much stuff to do.
But i’ll tell you that, the ‘crazies’ appear in many different forms. My WORST ‘Crazies’ are usually the males that I’ve dated before. The better I do. The more uncomfortable they weirdly feel? I don’t even know why because this can happen after YEARS have passed. Anyway, their life hasn’t maybe panned out accordingly, so they then try to pop into Wunna land with full-force, no idea, all the gear DRAMA.
Go away!!! You are not welcome, until you are calm and happy! You’re ‘cancelled.’
I don’t get it? I would NEVER drama into someone’s world? Why bother? The attention you get is negative.
There’s been a lot going on in Wunna Land. Luckily, most of it positive, so I couldn’t be more grateful. As always there’s been auditions and general life dandies. I’m sure you’re sick of me saying that!
I start a film in August and I’ve also just joined the cast of ‘Series of Light.’ I’m so excited and completely delighted. I actually got written into the second series of it by request of the Director. This was after he was keen to have me in the first series, but I couldn’t do it because of clashing filming dates. I was heartbroken.
Luckily, fate shined it’s dusty, little, old light on me. I just feel so blessed to have joined the cast. It’s a really wonderful time.
I’ve also been tiktoking and Insta posting a lot, in between the good old ‘ hustle,’ the line learning and the work, simply to de-stress a little. It’s weird because my day job IS to perform. Yet, my sense of escapism, away from any personal or work stress, is also to perform? I don’t know whether it’s escapism or my way of distracting you?
It’s kinda been a busy couple weeks, as everything flies back to normal. I certainly feel like one of those GREAT, hardcore single mums. (I’m smashing it and loving it.) Ruby & Junior are the happiest kids, in all the ‘Summer holiday’ land. 🙂 Homeschool is done and the respect I have for teachers is now forever embedded in my soul. Haha
However, there’s hard bits, i’m juggling my work, the kids and….well… most of you know, that I have a bit of a stressful ‘thing,‘ a situation… going on behind the glittery doors of Wunna Land. So obviously, i’ve therefore been making sure the littlest Wunna, my baby boy Junior, is filled to the brim with love and support…as he’s currently going through…well….
I can’t tell you the story yet, can I? I can’t tell you anything about it. But one day i’ll be able to…and when I finally can, life will not only have awarded Ruby, Junior and I with complete happiness…Yet also the faith in life, love, peace, justice and closure. I couldn’t be more proud of the babies. I watch them and i can’t believe how strong, loving and decent they’ve turned out so far.
They’re my world.
I know i’ve been moaning, but on the whole things have been great today.?(The ice-cream van didn’t come though. So that bit of the day was shit. Fish and chips did show up, so life perked up threefold.)
But i wanna ‘paper scrunch‘ all that for now and over arm, throw it, into a trash can, for a second.
Let’s breathe because I ’m genuinely feeling good.
I hope you are toooo!
I’m reading all your comments, on my ‘socials’ throughout my day and they’ve made me beam. What great support! What absolute love! (Apart from the dude that’s just written ‘Am I the only person who doesn’t think she looks good lately?’) You’re a douche. 🙂 Everyone else though…You’re amazing! Haha.
I don’t know how i’ve ended up with such a life? But i’m really thankful for it. It’s almost as if a dream comes true, every minute. I count my blessings. I dont take any of it for granted. I don’t even have my fingers crossed anymore, because I know life’s got my back.
I’m smiling. 🙂 I’m happy.
The biggest thing you all seem to ask me about is my love life and mainly because no-one can understand how I can be so unlucky in love? Either that, or i’m being asked out? All very flattering.
To the ones that have followed by blog for 10 years…or even before that, when I wrote my diary on Myspace, for years. (It of course got deleted by a guy I was dating at the time. Yippee.. I hate that.)
In the past i’ve been really unlucky. Yes. But right now, i feel pretty lucky. I’m single. But i’m not making those stupid and dashingly foolish decisions anymore.
Do I have a crush on anyone right now? Yes. That feeling is always exciting.
But I’d never say who because of the utter fear it gives me. Haha.
I think these days I just automatically assume that a crush wouldn’t really care. Haha. I’m pathetic I know. So I never tell them. They have to do all the stressful leg work and make it all very clear, so I feel all very safe. Haha.
I’m confident. Yes. So I don’t mean that I don’t think they wouldn’t ‘FANCY’ me back…They’d fancy me. ( God. I am cringing at myself!!) What I assume is that they wouldn’t truly care or utterly value me really…in the long run? I don’t know why I think that? But it’s true. So I shy away until they’ve spelled it all out and I know that I no longer have to proceed with caution.
I mean love can’t be that hard surely? Two people, attracted to one another. They decide to fall in love. They do. They look after and care for one another. Done! Why am I finding it so difficult?
Everyone’s also asking me about age preferences? I’m old. I’m 39. I don’t cancel people out via their age…However Ofcourse, they couldn’t be ‘young, young, young.’ I’m too emotionally grown for ‘young, young, young.’
I also get asked about ‘distance’ and love. Long distance relationships never bother me. Infact I really enjoy them! More of an effort is made because of the distance. You get to know one another over time. A lot of true respect, and value is put into everything & you appreciate them, at the same time as feeling free. You never feel suffocated.
Plus, we’re not in the ‘higgle-piggle’ olden days. You can FaceTime anyone and if the chemistry is magical, it feels as though they’re right there with you.
Right, I need to go de-stress.
Love you lots,