Legendary GENIUS

I can’t quite decide whether i’m a Bimbo, cleverly disguised as an ‘diot, or an Idiot cleverly disguised as a Bimbo?? However, after 2 lattes, a good old sing-song to ‘Last Christmas’ (which so happens to be the longest song in the world ever..snooze-fest) and much thought…i’ve come to the executive decision that i’m merely a legendary GENIUS!! It has a better ring to it than ‘Slut.’

I’ve also discovered that i’m psychic. Yes, once again i’m MAGIC. Three times i guessed the next song on the radio before it played!! Say What!!!! Yayur! So now that all my dreams are coming true one by one, it’s important i use my new found psychic-ness for evil purposes.

I strutted around the town Xmas shopping, and being followed by rude (not the good kind) people. There was NO EYE CANDY! Zero hot boys! It depresses me. My eyes need to be distracted from spending. I’ve noticed that when the temperature of the weather cools down, the temperature level of ‘BOY hotness’ diminishes. I judge towns on the temperature of the boys, and today Doncaster was ‘cold as ice.’ I can’t stand no eye candy, it just makes me want to trip myself up into the feathery pits of self-pity. (OOh just as i’ve said this, a flood of McDreamies have sent me messages!!) See, GOD f****** loves Me right now! LOVE it!! I’ve just done that thing when your belt strappy thing, accidently plunges itself into the toilet bowl, mid squat and you pee on it shamefully. (Haha) GREATNESS!

Chrissie Wunna

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