Leaving Life Behind..

Just got back from London and full day of work. I trained up there last night, whilst the England vs USA footie match was on, completely trashed to the point where i literally passed out drunk…in first class. When i came to, my right eyelash was dangling off my face, my mouth was as dry as a badgers ‘boohoo’ and i had the worst headache (hangover) imaginable! OMG, it was awful! When you’re already getting your hangover before it’s even the next day…you know you’ve past it.

For some reason whenever i travel to London these days, i get a churny stomach. It starts a circus act of *wiggle*…but not the good kind. I literally felt sick and ill, almost as if my body was rejecting my destination. I’ve had a lot of good times in London, however a GREAT DEAL of awful times, due to Boyband Jonny. It reminds of a time, where some little boy emotionally tormented me due to his own sickness and pretty much used the soul of a decent ‘being’ (Me…incase you were wondering) as prey. We have actually made up since then (yet we don’t really talk as much now). The whole time i was in London,  i just kept getting unhealthy flashbacks of when he was a prickeroo.

Infact, remember that time distinctly. Worst part of last year it was! Jon felt so bad about his own self, that in order to feel greater, he felt the need to try and emotional batter me down…and quite evily. (But he couldn’t..even though at one poibnt, i thought he could!) Eww! He was horrible. But luckily, i’ve come out the other end smiling, with a career, a solid foundation, more love than i ever thought i could manage. I have support, fans, excitment and well my little Loverboy, the absolute man of my dreams! You realize how wrong something is, when you have something that is so right.  Therefore no matter what you go through. No matter how tragic. If you’re a decent person (and i am…i’m whole hearted) …then Life gifts you with happiness and well…what a reward! I FEEL AMAZING!! (Remind me to give Billi Bhatti my Bank Details. I can’t forget. I was texting him on the train and didn’t have them.) What i love about Pete, is that he’s pure. There’s not a spiteful bone in his body. We’re having the most amazing adventure time. *Smiles loads!!!*

Anyway…(back to the pokery.) I got to Kings Cross late. I was starving, so i bought a cheese and ham sandwich. I don’t know why i did that, because i sure as hell didn’t eat it. I do that a lot. I left it on my bed…untouched. Instead, i guzzled a still Vimto, bought a ginormous platter of chinese delights, from sesame prawn toats, to ribs, to seaweed salad, to satay, to dim sums. Then i topped it off with a ginger beer and looked around my London appartment wearily.

I don’t enjoy being in London at all now. I don’t know why? I just truely love my life right now, that the past, my time spent there, my place, my party, my purr…has been jotted down, scrumpled up and tossed into the garbage. That’s quite weird of me to, as i’m one to love everywhere and anywhere. But if i’m being honest…London (and New York…if I may add) are just not for me. I love it up north and I completely love LA. They’re similiar types of places…believe it or not!

Time flew last night, and i felt lonely…because i was missing Pete so much! I’ve become quite dependant on him and his love I guess. He misses me when i’m away, and my heart ACHES for him when we’re apart. I sat looking out of my ‘oh so famous’ window, watching traffic, hearing sirens, and chewing on steamed dumplings that i had purchased for £3.99. It really did feel weird, like i wasn’t supposed to be there. However, i’m positive and a *sizzle* in me made me smile…and look at how well i’ve done in my current new chapter! I could’ve done London better. The way i did it was ust bad. I loved London when i lived in the BBf Mansion.

By 10pm, i had put on my pjamas, curled into bed, packed my bag for work the next morning (yes i DID wake up at 4am,) and put my phone on charge. The whole room was dark apart from the light from my Blackberry.

Loverboy, called me…mainly because he was missing me and needed to tell me how much he loved me. (Aww..) I was immediately happy and to the point that i forgot where i was, or how i had felt previous. We talked all night, then i fell asleep early, with a teddy in my clutches…in order to actually be awake by 4am. OUCHY!

Woke up, felt EXCITED. The GREAT thing about my trip was that i actually LOVED the ‘work’ part of it. It’s the only part that made it worthwhile. It was fun, silly, exciting and merry. I jumped up out of bed, which really is unlike me, got showered, did my face, threw in a couple of diamantes and got giddy. I loved feeling chipper…sober and well i can’t actually believe i was that alreat at 4am. A car came to pick me up at exactly 4.50am. I was driven to the studio and there with a water by 4.58am, and then i went on set to start my little bit of ‘oooh laaa’ by 5.30am. SO MUCH FUN! (Even though i only did ok.)

I loved work today. It’s really been refreshing! By 10am, i was done,. You guys were just waking up and i had already worked my entire day. Then in the blazing heat…i walked to my appartment, and well…i let the packing and cleaning process begin!

OMG!!! I have NEVER scrubbed, mopped, clothed, and heaved so muich inmy life. I felt like Cinderella, but without being able to go to the ball. This is why i’m a Glamour Puss. I HAVE people that do this shit for me. I don’t like the *heaving, tugging, pulling.* The cleaning i can handle. I mean, if i’m being honest, i don’t actually mind the cleaning process…i get all into it, and start being a perfectionist! I need everything spotless….it’s like being in the army..but a way sluttier one. I’m quite a stickler for a spotless pad, so yeah i got to it.

Five hours later…yes that long….i had thrown EVERYTHING out, scrubbed everything worth scrubbing, packed anything that i thought worthwhile having and well my appartment looked like a whole new place! A whole new world. (I remember when i used to *do a sick* off the side of my bed.) I swear the appartment was fit for a Queen….and one that i would have to slap if she sat on ANYTHING!! (Took me ages to do it all!)

I realized what time it was, and just yearned to be back up north. So i gathered together all my pink luggage, called a cab, got to Kings Cross in moments flat and as i was jogging in..with my sunglasses, boobies and baggage, i saw a train to Doncaster was just about to leave!!!!

Being the Human Dynamo that I am….i raced (sauntered seductively) to Platform 5, actually manage to make it onto the train, with 2 minutes to spare. I had to sit on a random push down chair near the train door, because there was no room at the inn, for a floozey like me….and well then i fell asleep, next to a gran from Newcastle, who was eating a pickle sandwich!

I’m home now and i’ve never been happier. I’ve cuddled my mum. I’ve left my past behind. My future is purrfect and my current world is, what can i say?  DIVINE! I’m happy, i’m in love and i finally have a boy of ‘lover lover’ that is everything any girl could ever desire in her life partner. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s like magic! Work was fun today! Life is good…but i tell you what…. I’d give ANYTHING for a bacon sandwich right now! 🙂 I’m STARVING!!!

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