Learning Life As I Pout Along..


Had the best nignts sleep ever last night and suddenly realized that i’m completely not used to sleeping in my bed alone. (I’m aware that sounds awfully ‘slaggamuffin.’) However, really, if there’s not a boy i’m awkwardly spooning, there’s usually a visiting  relative, (How West Virginia of Me) or a bundle of friends who missed their last train home, (Code for: Drunks) squashed into my beddy, a pillow hogging. I’ve never felt so free and comfortable. I deliberately slept diagonally across my bed to experience maxium ‘freeness.’ I should’ve gone with ‘star fish.’

Infact, i feel AMAZING today, sexy, powerful and armed with a good team of warm hearted folky, who made me realize that the best thing about getting your ‘shizzle’ stolen, is the fact that you can actually buy MORE!! Woo-hoo! (I’m a spender, due to their being no ‘eye candy’ to distract Me right now, therefore i already have all new ‘shizzle.’ But the Police called earlier and I’m talking to them later on today.) I’ve been offered a lot of new phones ‘ to make me smile’ by the good people at various phone stores and decent human beings and well THANKYOU simply for being so kind hearted. However, i do believe there’s more good people in the world than bad, and the good people obviously read my blog. (That last sentence does not qualify ‘hate’ mail…and i am now taking all my ‘hate’ mail as  ‘sexual advances.’ Oh and i greatly accept.) Wink, wink, hair toss!  I haven’t had any ‘hate’ as of yet today…you’re slacking, do ya goddamn job! But thankyou to all the ones that take the time to type ‘kind‘ words of love. You are far superior beings. I want to smother you in sugar and…don’t know where i was going with that? But I love you.

Anyway, ‘Lashes’ and I aren’t talking. My friend got dry humped by a rectangular penis. (Don’t ask.) I fooded with friends who believe there’s an art to ‘out pimping’ me. I got pulled of a bus and fined, yet got the officers number, who now wants to challenge me to a date. I’m working a great deal harder than what my body is used to and tonight i believe i have cocktails with a darling dearest…she writes for ‘Vogue‘ a lady with ‘UMPH’ who will always, always fly the flag for Team Wunna. (Don’t fight the feeling.) I really need a wink, a cuddle and a cup of PG Tips please….No? You only have a slap? And not even a ‘tickle’ with that ‘slappa-slappa-roo.’

Really happy today, i’m on surprisingly on the up, which i’m finding as odd as you…(But obviously not really, because i’m an ego-maniac.)Very high blog ratings yesterday. A pat on the back to you all. Garlic Pizza is not an alright thing for someone to have in the morning…just incase you were unaware. (No-one will ever bonk you…and if they do, then well that’s there own ‘Mummy didn’t love them’ issue.)

8 thoughts on “Learning Life As I Pout Along..”

  1. oh my fucking god u are a proper sort loving the red corset on u chrissie u look the guvna here. dont trust the old bill they aint worth a wank the mugs. i hope u have fun re buying all your new gear who dont love going on a spending spree i actully like shopping i ont like getting followed around the shops though i must lok like a thief

  2. ok good good no it is coz they took libertys with me pal chrissie. im pleased it is all sorted i was worried about u but i think i need to go out with u so i can look after your security babe

  3. course i do u are me old china and u need a real fridge to be there to make sure people cant take libertys with u and i reacon u will be a right bubble to get pissed with

  4. is it ok good good but if u need someone as extra protection let me know babe i got to look after miss wunnaful aint i have a mustard wednesday me old china and u will be getting a surprise before the end of the month ok treacle


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