Last Minute Jiggle


Just got back from a freezing cold last minute, ‘before i head back down to London tomorrow’ shopping spree in Doncaster. Wow, was it cold and kinda not worth it? I couldn’t find any single perfect dress, it was like hunting for the man of my dreams…impossible. However, it didn’t much worry a starlet of amazingness like my jolly over sexed self. I swept an armful of twinkly things, diamonds, and pearls into a basket…sauntered up to the nearest ‘Please pay here,’ and *ching ching*..sold to the Glamour puss with the slanted eyes! (Flashback: I can’t believe i actually once sold my friend in a bar to a stranger for a cigarette!! It was meant to be a joke, but it went too far and being the good friend that i am…& because they also gave me gum, I left my friend with him and he ended up taking him home (yes they were gay.) They spent the evning on a bed, stretching out their willies at each other. It must be odd, just sitting there wanking for one another?? I’d feel all under pressure and like i’d have to put on a ‘show.’ Then comes the *spurt* and just like’s over. The good thing about it all is that you can then ask them their name and call them a taxi home.)

I’m feeling sexy today. Cold but Greatness. I’m the Ultimate glamour puss and well things are going pretty well. Infact so well (here i go tempting fate…i will get over myself,) that i feel like now i have everything planned, i can simply do fuck all and cruise my way through to Jan 1st, easily, safelyand with a smile on my face. I’m just gonna enjoy it, get trashed and sing in the new year ungracefully. I mean i’ve had an amazing year! It’s almost hilarious! I deserve to celebrate the madness & memories. I feel quite lucky but fucking hell it’s cold.

I just got a card through the post from ‘Latin Lover.’ It’s the most gorgeous words of ‘love‘ sent to me in little white card form. It plays music when i open it and reads the most romantically sentimental words. Too bad he’s in a whole other country goddamit! But it was absolutely precious and i adore it when a boy makes the effort to simply tell you (even if it’s indirectly) that he cares. Sometimes it’s what htey don’t say that matters. However,  ‘Latin lover’ isn’t one to shy away. He went all out with his words of love. I love a grand declaration!  Gonna call him in a bit.

I actually met a load of people today during my power hour shopping spree. Often people are scared to stop me, or talk to me and will maybe try and get in my eyeline to have a good look. I always try to make them feel as comfortable as possible. I’m not sure why people think i wouldn’t talk to them?? Yet some of the time, i meet some real ‘Treats!’ And well, most beings who have maybe been on a tv show, will get a ‘Hi…omg, ur so sweet. I loved you.’ I get people of all ages and all walks of lives, from the homeless to movie stars, who will stop me and instead of commiting to the ‘i loved you’ they instead tell me a really dirty joke, or a really big secret. Or tell me about something tremedously naughty that they did, with a sheer face of excitment, awaiting my approval. They tell me about times they’ve lied, stolen, or shagged their own grandfather. It’s amazing what i end up finding out!!

I get mums who are addicted to drugs and need an ear. Children who want to be glamour pusses or floozies. Boys who want to feel my bitchy boobies. I get asked dating advice galore and this is all on the when they meet me on the street…i’m like everyones best friend. I even had a lady (who i didn’t at all know, looke about 42) who was stood next to me in a clothing store one time. She grabbed something off the rail, eyed it up for a while. held it up infront of herself, turned around to face me and said ‘Chrissie dya think I can i get away with wearing this??’ Aww…i loved it.

Everyone sort of opens up to me. They tell me everything about their lives that they could maybe never tell anyone. I mean they don’t even know why they do it?? But it is easier to tell a starnger. Half of the mums stop, laugh and say ‘i can’t believe i’ve just told someone that!! i’ve never told anyone!!’ And i just love it. I mean, i’m as down to earth as it gets! I just look like i’m not. I’ll take a dirty secret from you, anyday! I’m good at adapting to my environment. And you know what, it beats an ‘i don’t really care‘ fake smile & wave anyday. I’m not that girl.

Infact my friends get more mad at me getting stopped then i do. Yet i think it’s because the attentions not on them. I never get mad at it…I truely love it. (Well  apart from when i had to hide in the back of a car today!)

Headed back to London tomorrow. It’s the Shipwrecked Reunion party and i’m going with Sammie. I’m honestly not quite ready to leave Yorkshire just yet.  🙁

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.