Land on my Lippage

Either end really! (Ooh-er!) It’s my method of pulling any handsome stranger. I stand, i glow (as in ‘Shine with Charisma’ and not ‘Be Sweaty.’ ) I drink, i pucker and hope that some devilish beast of a man will accidently fall upon my lippage. It actually works everytime. ‘Latin Lover’ says i have lips of the ‘Cocky sucky’ variety. I agree! I just walk around the streets and people want to push things against them…it’s an unfightable force and a talent worth owning.

It’s 1.15 pm and i’ve already been yelled at, been called ‘offensive.’ I’ve been text the word ‘cunt‘ (which is delicious with a crumpet…’Ooh a cunt and a crumpet’) and after telling a teenage girl that she ‘Rocks the Sexy’ was asked if i was ‘a lesbian.’ Haah! I love it! I love kids. (Not like that you dirty pervs! Well maybe a bit like that. Nooooo!) It would actually be easier if i was a lesbian. I’d never be personally invaded by a dangerous dose of the sausage police, which at times can be my weakness…(when drunky.) It’s my Kryptonite. Supermans a puff. I can handle anyone dangling green glowing rocks in my face mid- ‘Save the world.’ Try dangling something a bit more sausage shaped and my knees will go all wibbly, my heart will pound a little faster, my skirt will start riding up and i’ll be forced to submit in sheer pain. I’d be like, ‘Ah…i can save the world some other day.’ Infact, so would Superman after a couple tequila shots at ten to two. Please! He wears TIGHTS to work!

Chrissie Wunna (Bitches!) xx

5 thoughts on “Land on my Lippage”

  1. U funny fucker u crack me up chrissie I hope u had a good Easter cracking pic babe I hope u have plenty of sausage chrissie

    Reply
  2. HA HA HA!! chrissie YOUR the BEST!! you crack me up chicka!!!
    god i wish i had the chance to get to know you… you and I have alot in common!! = ) we would party till the crack of dawn and then some!! HA HA HA!!
    everyone gets too drunky drunky and im always the last one partying!! your a trooper like me 🙂 at least i wouldnt be awake alone if you and i were drinkin together… Sausage hunt anyone?? ; ) hehehehehe
    your the perfect party partner!! Please let me know if you ever come to Toronto canada… CAUSE WE LOVE YOUUU!!!! and i love you!! Xo

    Reply
  3. I tell you what…if theres a large amount of easily manipulated sausage in Toronto…then sign me up. We shall party ’til dawn and rejoice in the darkness. Then beat ourselves with the heaviest of sausage until we can no longer see, breathe or …(can’t think of anything else??)

    Ur my new Canadian drinking partner. Lets do this bitch!

    Reply

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