Kitty Kat Coaching…

Omg, i’m watching the Heidi Fleiss documentary on Channel 4. I am deeply intrigued by her, so i’ve poured a glass of port..(which i promised myself i wasn’t gonna have, but whocares it loves me) and i’m hooked…(so to speaky.) Infact, i’m now at the point where i’m almost pushing the ‘prozzie’ part to one side and worshipping her for getting a man to GIVE her 1 MILLION dollars in cold card cash for her 21st birthday. Jeepers! I am aware of approximately, 4o people turning 21 years old in Feb and are they getting $1,000000? Nooooo! They’re all getting a future of liver problems, with a mighty round of heartache.

Away from all that..i’m draped in chandelier diamond earrings that my Mother has bought me, at 11.59pm, in flannel pyjamas and a trust fund reciept. You’d think i’d be dining on the finest feasts in all the land. Nope…I Chrissie Wunna, Queen of Greatness, Ultimate Glamour Puss, Kitty Queen of ‘Oooh laa,’ had a kebab. A giant one. And i had it whilst sat infront of a fireplace on a living room floor, during a mad BBm conversation, ‘Latin Lover’ complaining at me and telling me that i seem to no longer care about his darling handsome self anymore, due to an apparent boyfriend, and with a kitten  named ‘Lucky boo’ on my knee and a  chunky grey land line phone in right my hand, with a man in a mountain in Pensylvania talking to me about my new make up line that i’m setting up. Month and a half….and it will be out. Funny really how lucky i got with that. I have a whole compnay working on it with me. You’re all gonna look delicious. It’s for girls, guys and gays and bitches it is sexual. I guess, a little bit of reality tv can take you a long long way!

I’ve just been having a conversation *hair toss* with a friend i believe cannot help but be a people pleasing faker. I threw him a glass of port and told him that i believed that in life, all anyone needed (other than a great wink, a decent rack and true unconditional love) was truth. Be very careful with pretentious behaviour, because little moments of fakery, will turn into a day to day habit and you will trap yourself in it and well we all kinda hate being a bit trapped don’t we. Unless, you’re trapped in a room full half naked go go dancing floozies, but even then, that gets boring when the booze wears off.

I’m completely loving life right now and well my trip to Yorkshire and time with my family has straightened me out. Not that i needed an iron out. I do enjoy my crinkles. Anyhow, I return to London on Wednesday for a jolly wee bit of foolery and the greatest times ever! I’m hoping for the best and well i don’t really know what’s going to happen to me? I just know it’s something GREAT. I have that fuzzy feeling where i sort of see my dreams materializing right before my eyes and i just can’t believe it…yet have to because it’s happening. It feels imaginary, but it’s real. I’m living a dream, a fairytale…and it’s my dream, my fairytale…but a bit more rubbish then most because i’m always hung over.

Right now in life, everyone is being simply delightful to me and my confidence is sky high. I know i can do this now. I’m bubbling with feist, infact ‘UMPH’ and i’m told i’m apparently one dangerous Kitty, when i’m in this zone. I think i’m just drunk. *Downs shot- Pulls knickers out of crack.*

I wanna draw you right in, because i want you to join me in my life, feel the way i do and love the way i do. I wanna turn everybodies ‘every day,’ into a complete dizzy ‘magic.’ (Haha…i should probably put this drink down. )

When it comes to relationships, i’ve realized that the perfect relationship is one of comfort, fun, excitement, friendship and surrounded with a swirling ‘giggle’ of love. If you can tick all those boxes with a member of the opposite sex,then you’ve completely got it right. I’m LOVING LIFE …and i truely hope you are too.

I think i need to learn tantric sex. I’m finding it rather ‘Oooh hows ya daddy’ interesting. I’m not sure how people can get so deeply aroused without even properly touching?? Well i can imagine…but it’s all too much for my pure virginal ears. *wink pout*. I’m very tactile, so i like to touch people. It’s my favourite sense, when done right. However, i don’t like people touching me if i don’t want them to or like them. Haha. It’s weird, i like to be in control of my touching. I’m soo completely, on all levels into sensuality. The touch of it. The look of it. The everything of it. I could walk around in corsets & stockings all day, picking my nose and drinking a cuppa tea. I’ve always found it quite sexy, from a very young age. Which even to this day i find bizarre???  (HOLY CRAP!!! I’ve just recieved a bbm from a friend who accidentally just slept with her cousin! LMAO!!!! Champion! I’m sure that’s like 100 points.)

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