‘Why are you always being naughty???’ Hmm..! This has been said to me almost 4 times within 45 minutes. Am i really that naughty?? I don’t think so. I’m just doing that thing called ‘life,’ and ‘living it.’ It’s not my fault yours is completely controlled to the point of boredom. ..that mine looks ‘naughty.’ My life’s GREATNESS, I dare you to join Me!! (I have a kitten in my hair.)
I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, as i’m getting rained on with all this life changing stuff, and i’m having to catch each droplet, think about it and sort it. It’s not my forte. I need help!! There’s too many things to sort at once!! I’m an entertainer…i’m not supposed to be figuring out my life…i’m supposed to be performing it to my best ability!! (haha.) But whatever, i’m happy, i’m lucky, and hoping that Santa brings me my Sumo Wrestler..before Christmas. (Yeah daddy!) I’d also like a giant cardboard cut-out…of myself. It could be the Sumo Wrestlers best friend…as something tells me i’ll be bored with ‘Fiona’ (thats what i’ve named the Sumo)..after a good 2 days and a good 200 cocktails.
I’ve been invited to attend like a million (slight exaggeration) events, parties and god knows what. I just can’t fit it all in, so i’m not going to any. I’m pulling crackers with the family. I’ve also promised all my friends that i would hang out with them. Yet i seem to have said ‘yes’ to everyone, only to find that i can’t possibly commit to such promises. But f*** it, i’m overwhelmed! I’m gotten really busy, and it just came out of nowhere! It’s like 200 ‘jack in the boxes,’ popping out at once. (I hate those things! It’s like 2 seconds of bursting pleasure…then it’s dead. I don’t like things that die in 2 seconds. It bores me.)
I have a facebook message from a dude talking about scrabble. Not sure whether he’s noticed i’m HOT. (lol…) But i like it, he wants to talk word games. I have a minor fear of word games, as in LA one time, after drinking sooo many malibu pineapples at The Abbey, i got kidnapped and put in an appartment with a bunch of other McDrunks, who all took some kind of prescription pills (Bad, bad, very baaaaaad…Note: I never! I hate all that!) and decided they wanted to play ‘Quibble.’ No? Is it ‘Quibble?’ It’s a word game. Anyone, this woman ends up having some kind of ‘she thinks she’s old’ fit, and starts dressing me in all her clothes that she produced from her wardrobe (of misses), standing me in front of a mirror, making me catwalk and telling (her imaginary friends) how great they were, then bursting into tears?? I kept saying she looked better in them than I did…to make her feel better…(But really She did, they were 10 sizes too big.) Then this other guy, (who’s a hollywood talent agent) blacked out on a sofa, after 6 pills..in a rather comedic manner, and didn’t manage to wake up on time, for a gay trip to Disneyland the next morning. Hilarious! Then the old woman, ended up confessing undying love for a friend of mine, and going on about how he looked like a Greek God. And how she wanted to bare his child..and all that good stuff. She made me pinky promise i wouldn’t ever go for him.
The next day ‘Greek God’ hit on me via the words, ‘I’m coming home with you tonight, and ur gonna show me how much you love me.’ I resisted for a good 2 hours and told a (tv producer) friend about my pinky pact, with ‘old girl.’ He laughed out loud, and said, ‘well its not really a battle.’ That evening, i had a ‘bedroom shuffle’ with ‘Greek god.’ The woman now hates me.Yet unfortunately, is forced to suck up to me, due to my rung position on the magical ‘ladder of popularity!!’ Hahaha! (Hoooolllywooood!!) So stupid! Love it!! This is why i HATE word games!
Chrissie Wunna x