Keeping it sexy.


‘You do know that i can’t just impregnate the nearest bird, Wunna??’ Explained the now reformed Karl Pearce to the little Glamour Puss with slanted eyes (not crotch) after pouring out his emotional history to her via the fine art fo Facebook chatting. (An art that i have begun to appreciate a great deal. If you know me, i’m crap at answering my phone, or texting back when you need me too. If you recieved regular calls, or a stream of texts from me and i’m not drunk, you’re highly priviledged, because i’m horrid at it. However not because i’m a twat. It’s simply because i enjoy good-ish manners and when i’m with people, i can’t really be a texting non-stop, now can i? And i’m always with people…even if they are imaginary. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Apparently my friend Karl, who walked into a glass door in Manchester, after partying with me at the Casino, is now ‘not a cunt?’ He’s managed to find himself and be all goodie-goodie…y’know take a page out of my old book. The bizarre thing is that i never actually noticed that he was a ‘cunt?’ I always thought he was quite sweet, (even if i did call him a ‘sex pest.’) At the time i was probably a bit lost too, and when you are, you can never recognize another lost person, because they seem quite utterly normal to you. Lol. I had Ruby and my whole entire being changed. I told him he needed to find a bird, love her and become a ‘Daddy.’ Hence the merry ‘opener’ to this little blog. I love it when people open up their entire heart and i reply with one humourous, tragic, bimbo sentence, like ‘Oh? Hurry up and do it then.’

Anyway, i’ve had another amazing day today. I’ve worked hard. I now have loads of glitzy projects tucked under my belt. I’m sitting my half eaten apples, an empty coffee mug, a leopard print makeup bag and chocolates and a random boy on Facebook is asking me if i need him to be my slave…as another one pretends to be engaged to me and the boy i’m actually really engaged too (which is Keiran) tells me he will by me wine, but i’m a 4/10. ๐Ÿ™‚ Busy day. LMAO.

I can’t wait for the book. I can’t wait to shoot the calender. I’m getting back into work, and my day job is now being boring. Infact, i told people off today via cyberland for being two faced. I like it when i whop out a bit of honesty. It shocks people and when people are means they don’t tell the truth, or don’t know i roll. (God my ‘updo’ i msaking me ‘DIVA.’)

I knew today was gonna be a good day simply because any day that begins with you having to blow dry your own crotch area, because your leggings, that you ‘just needed to wear’ are not fully dry…but only damp on the crotch part, means greatness. Ruby was still fast asleep before her big morning nursery run and there i was on the cream carpet on my landing, in my updo, a bra, and my leggings…blow drying my crotch and trying to be quiet about it, so i didn’t disturb ‘Lil’ Wunna.’ Great day! But really. I’m not at all being sarcastic. My mum arrived and we all tottered baby Ruby off to nursery merrily, as I took pictures. Pete’s feeling mildy left out because he often attempts to make out that i apparently ‘can’t cope.’ The whole point is that i can and always do and that is what hurts him. Yet things are much better now I made the perfect decision for my bambino. I adore her. I look at her and know life is perfect. I mean, when she giggles and babbles along to ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ and thinks she’s really singing i melt. I’m rubbish at being strict. When i love, be it my family, my daughter,  my lover…i love hard. I can always tell if i don’t care about someone..coz i boss them about without reason.

Tonight, i’m with my ‘handsome’ Keiran. We hung out last night, watched a bit of telly, cuddled, he told me he would always love me and he’d miss me when he had to go. He hasn’t yet gone…and because he just didnt’ feel ready yet. It’s weird because we can tell that we’re gonna get pulled apart soon. We can feel it. But it’s wonderful because it makes our bond stronger than ever. I have the most amazing man. The most romantic little ‘so & so’ that i have promised to love forever. We’re amazing. The most deliciously marvellous couple. Yet he’s starting to get a mildy pissed off with random or not so random boys hitting on his wifey, when THEY ALREADY KNOW, i’m going to be his wifey. Weird how people do that innit. Bad form. But whatever, he knows i’ll never leave him and simply because he put my hand on his heart and told me not to break it. When someone does that, you kinda have to whole heartedly be there’s and i have no problem with that at all. I can’t wait!!!

I really can’t think of any else i needed to tell you. I’m not even drunk and i can’t fucking remember? I have a lot  going on and it’s all getting really exciting.

Wish upon stars and make your dreams come true. I did…and well once the ball starts rolling, be it ‘disco’-‘moss’-or ‘sweaty’ it really doesn’t stop. Make the most of your time on this earth ball. You might as well. It’s all you have and all you have that is yours. LIFE! Live it and love (dirtily) a little. *Wiggle-giggle-wink* It’s all about what you make of it, and well if you are going home to no-one, or not feeling fully loved, or wallowing at rock bottom, with a ‘loser’ sign, a face pack, a Pot Noodle or a dildo. Either embrace it, bounce back from it, hope for the best, or do gin. Yet don’t hate on me…for not being there with you. ๐Ÿ™‚

Wunna Land is on fire… I LOVE THE MAGIC!!

Baby Ruby on her nursery run this morning!



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