Keeping it ‘femme’

Day off! Woohoo! Well it’s kinda not really a day off because I am meant to be working from home. Yet when you’re AT home, work seems far more gratifying and due to the fact that you can watch reality tv whilst you do it and eat bacon butties, in thongs and slippers. *Wiggle-wink* TRAGICAL!!!!

Okay, yesterdayI was back in the office and it was actually pretty great. I totally rocked my ‘Office trollop’ Barbie look. One where you look powerful, like you own things, like you maybe had champagne for breakfast, but totally with ya tits out. Well when i say ‘tits out’…I only really did the clevage. ‘Office-trollop’ Barbie is the best. I got all the attention i wished for. I walked my clevage around like it was Hollywood domestic pet and finally got my chest referred to as ‘Milka, Milka’ boobies by weight lifters, who were lunging. When that happens..you’ve pretty much made it. Men are nicer to me when i have my bit of ‘cleeve‘ out and well I’m a kitty cat who prefers an easy sail through life. Anytime i can ‘get my way’ swiftly…i will and i’ll do it with a wink-wink-giggle, or an occassional ‘Power- strut.’ Most call it tragical…I call it clever! If i’m honest i’m just loving being ME again. I spent 9 months in preggo hibernation, flat shoes and vagina soiled maternity pads. Now i’ve slimmed right down and feeling delicious. I want to enjoy it, work ‘it,’ embrace my new ‘MILF’ status, celebrate all the goodies that have blessed my beautiful Glamour Pussy, jewel dripped life and well I’m going to. Even if that means just looking slaggy. 🙂 EVERY girl is allowed to ‘work’ their version of ‘slaggy’ at least once a week. It keeps you ‘kitten.’ Keeps you feeling ‘femme.’ Do it too much and you’ll just get called a ‘whore’ and end up in fishnets, with boys using you as a *bonk* blanket, with a round of gential warts, dipped in a bit of tart. I do ‘Glamour puss.’ It’s a much differernt game of ‘ooh.’ It’s the art of looking flirtatiously ‘easy’ yet being rather deliciously complex.

Loverboy and I have made up. It’s what we do, i guess? I throw a strop, sleep on the sofa and call him an ‘idiot’ and then the next day, after he’s done a series of lovely things, we make up. Baby Ruby is a whole MONTH old today. Everytime we cuddle her…our guards crumble to pieces and we remember to love each other. Pete and I are a perfectly matched couple, yet we are VERY DIFFERENT people. I’m loud, feisty and an over eyelashed ooze of ‘go-getter.’ (A bitch really.) He’s soft, sensitive and always wants a peaceful life. We both enjoy luxury, love and each other. Therefore we get along. My new found ME, has made me a bit of a flirteroo. I like it that way. Loverboy…doesn’t. However, like I said we have buying new homes and weddings coming up next. He must have read my previous blog of anger, because he’s started to cheerlead me along.

Work, life, babies and love are all being handled now. I’m no longer stressed and loving every moment of it. I’ve got the swing of it all and well I think i’m not only lucky to have so much going on, but I noticed that all I needed was someone to tell me to ‘fucking get on with it,’ but nicely, like a cheerleading, *pom, pom* flinging hoochie. *Pity party over.* I lost my way briefly and only because i wanted a ‘feel sorry for me’ moan. Luckily, i’ve lost my way soo many times in life, that finding that brick road of ‘right way,’ is soo much easier these days. It’s a wine, a shrug, a smile and a shake. [Commit to Hip Bumps here.]

Other than all that and the fact that i need to go hit the sunbed in a bit. I was informed that one of my work colleagues has a big vagina. I’ve been causing drama on all lovely continents of the world. I’ve enjoyed to  ‘shakira-shakira’, realized that i’m not as thin as I thought, terrified Pete when I tried to ‘hit’ on him last night. (All I did was wiggle up to him with my juicy clevage and rub his back. He got all nervous and sweaty…then started to talk about contraception, like he was a nun. LMAO!!!) ‘All i’m doing is rubbing your back Pete. I don’t have my knickers down by an ankles!’ I like that I terrify him. It means i still glisten in ‘swagga.’ He told me he would help look after Baby Ruby today, in order for me to get book all done and dusted. He’s forgotten and instead eating salt and vinegar crisps in jogging bottoms.

Life is yummy. My daughter is AMAZING and today is the day she not only hit one month old, but also held her bottle by herself whilst doing a melodic journey of trumps.

You’re all too hot to handle. 😉

 

 

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