Today and from now on… i’m keeping it CAMP. Incase you didn’t realize, i’m now back to ‘Vixen’ after a rather preggo spell of ‘waddle-waddle.’ Now, i feel fighting fit. I have work to do. I’m conquering the world. In order to do that i need lipgloss and focus. Today, i’m spending my entire day working solidly on my book. In about one week, it will be FULLY completed. (I KNOW MUCH!!!) I think my agent is probably mildy frustrated at me. I text her this morning filled to the brim with enthusiasm. I got
*blanked.* Lol. But this time I really am buckling down. If i’m wanting to spread ‘Wunna-ness’ around the world, via written word. Then i’ve got to get off my lazy patoodi and stop dilly-dallying around. I’m now not as terrified. I’m feel like the QUEEN of living and liking.
Anyway enough of that! Last night…I had
SEX!!! Now, i’m a former hoochie, therefore this may not come as such a giant bit of news to a lot of you. HOWEVER, i haven’t had proper slaggy sex with Loverboy in donkies years, due to preggoness, the labour, then having stitches and well not only being busy with Riby, yet also due to not feeling too sexy.
I’ve been losing my baby weight. I’m back to ‘almost’ me, figure-wise. It’s only been 4 weeks and well after we put Baby Rubes to bed last night, we enjoyed a couple of glasses of red red wine. Pete got trashed. I’m immune to the forces of McDrunky these days. It works the other way for me. If i drink water, my body gets creeped out and panics. On wine. I’m fine.
He looked at me seductively, leant in and there you have it….we enjoyed the most passionate, tonguey smoochie that could put any ‘Flooze’ to shame, on our little black leather sofa. OMG! It was delicious. I mean, we’ve been so emotionally busy that we had forgotten to keep it sexual. Yeah we’re a romantic couple. Yet romance is never romantic without that bit of lust. 🙂 We made out…madly. I haven’t kissed a boy in months!!! I went for it. Boobs and everything! lol
It was weird because it shot me back to a time where we first dated and we were always really kissy ‘slag-fest’ with on another. It brought it all back magically. It was like a Fairytale ‘wake up,’…but naked. Last night, for the first time in ages we enjoyed each others bodies sexually and made ‘love’ ( haha) on the living room sofa. The hanky-panky was raunchy. I deserve trophies. I went to town on him. Yet i did weirdly pause half way through and ask him if my vagina wa ‘baggy.’ OH DEAR WUNNA! You’ve got to love me! But whatever, i’ve just had an entire daughter squeeze her way out of it. I wanted to know how it all felt! Hahah.
We got jiggy. We kept it safe! I’ve just had a baby…i don’t need another just yet. I want high heeled, cocktail time again, before i breed more WUNNA’s. Right now i feel all glorified. Like i’m a champion. (Tragic.) We’re back to how we were and with a beautiful daughter. I have a great career. Money coming in and lots and lots of love. *Glitter spray.* (Not being funny or anything, but he didn’t ejaculate every quickly? That worries me? I mean, surely if he hadn’t had sex in ages, after a *pump* he’d spurt for England?? I did ask…like ya do. 🙂 He responded with a laugh. Ugh!)
Other than all that and the fact that i need to go to work on my book. Ruby is making it an impossible task. Pete’s working all day today…so i’m juggling everything once more…in frilly knickers and ‘pout’ lips. My mums coming later to aid me in the art of ‘working mum.’
I’m apparently in the ‘Doncaster Free Press’ (the local paper of the town that birthed me) this week, with Miss. Paris Hilton. I think i’m a reason why ‘Doncaster is GREAT’ or something? Not really. They pretty much just slagged me off, as per usual. Everyone knows i’m ALL FOR Doncaster. I’m there every weekend having my weekly shop around the Frenchgate out of habit. I love it and well i think i’m a great role model for little girls from Donny who have a dream in their heart. I inspire them and teach them that they can actually achieve anything! Anyone can. I enjoy how everyone always fails to see that I’m a writer. I have a blog innit and a book coming out? The article states, that Me ‘having my birthed filmed’ won’t make me a star? Erm…I never ever stated that. I do actually do more than have bambinos filmed during labour. Lol…and actually a lot more than writing evil articles about Glamour Pusses in a little Doncaster office too. 🙂 Book out. This year! Make up line…selling. However they did say if i ‘made it to the A-list, then fair play’ to me. That’s just incase I do and they need to make like they 100% support me because I’m from Doncaster.
Anyway, I’m reading all your Tweets. I’m noting them down to put in the back of my book….so you ALL get a shoutout. Today i’ve been put on a list of ‘ literary beings of ‘genius’ and at the same time on a list of ‘hot sluts.’ 🙂
The reason why i’ve found my inner book confidence is simply because my Fairy God Mother in LA…messaged me this morning, after knowing how i truely felt, without me even really telling them, with fighting words of encouragement. My LA Fairy God Mother is a man. An anorexic one named DK. 🙂 I adore him and lived with him for a month in Hollywood, when he created his own little rehab for me. (Really he did. He cured me from utter downhill devastation. I brought happiness to his life. He stopped me being a twat.) He knows me well and i can trust him fully. His message wasn’t filled with bully shits, but with fact! I LIKE FACT. He explained the whole literary world to me, in a paragraph and why my book WILL really work. He also explained why i’m terrified of my book and can’t seem to handle it. I actually think that in order for my book to be great. I need to morph back into that time of my life and live it again mentally, emotionally and fully. I told my chick friend the exact same thing and all she said was, ‘Morph back? Chrissie..you are that girl! You haven’t at all changed, you just weirdly think you have because pregnancy shocked the hell out of your system. You’re still that tragic flooze.’
I now feel marvellous again, therefore I guess a little encouragement, dipped in fact, truth and trust from all continents..works wonders. Well only if you take action and work hard at it, with a *wink.* Understanding something, be it a book, a boy or a bacon buttie…is what makes things easier. We often forget to take the time to understand things innit! Be DIVA, Dolls!
I really must do my book now. Ruby refuses to be anywhere without me. I ADORE IT, I DO. Yet it doesn’t make book formatting easy. I have a baby honking my left boobie and i’m typing with one hand! ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ didn’t have such drama! I told Pete i needed his help all weekend, so that I could get on with my book, that i have a deadline for. HE DIDN’T listen…and is working ALL day. MEN!!!!!