Keeping heartache Glamourous

HAPPY OCTOBER, my little Autumn treats of raindrop. I can’t actually believe it’s October??? Crazy innit how each year just flies by, like a drunken moment or a relationship you really wanted to last forever. (I hate the word ‘Forever’ as really it just means ‘for right now.’ Nothing lasts forever…apart from memories and i’ve made plenty of them…so what if i’ve done it in thongs?) YOU LOVE IT! (Yes, i’m feeling tragically egotistical today and YES..i do apologize.)

October’s a delicious month and because it’s officially, in my mind, no longer even near Summer. (We do try and drag that out a bit, don’t we in Britain.) The bikinis get packed away and the faux furs, deep red heels and golden pearled cluthes COME OUT! It’s when the year turns sexy. Almost sultry. It’s a time for the Brunettes to get worshipped!

The Summer months are pretty much catered to the bubbly, sexy, bunny-like  peroxide blond, (my favoruite type of blond.) But the months of Oct-Nov, is all about the brunettes and since i’m a brunette…(well i’m kinda not, because my hair is naturally JET black,) it’s all about MEEEEEE!!! *Strut-strut- hair-toss-wink*

The reason why i’m only including the months of October and November in the above paragraph, is because December is a tad bit more camper. I’m a December born baby, so i’m a sultry dark vixen, with a silly tinsel campness. (My favourite type of girl…period!) We’re all sexy, saucy, but ‘a tea bag short of a full brew.’ We drink wine that’s a little mulled (Code: for ‘crazied.’) We do ‘ooh’ faces, in Santas suits, we dance with singing Penguins, hang baubles off prickly glittered trees and gift wrap ourselves a little saucy ‘handsome’ and to music from old distant Christmas times. But that’ll come later, right now…it’s October. The beginning of the ‘sexy,’ time of year.

Okay, so i’ve noticed that if i have a barney with Loverboy (lets get straight back to my love life) he immediately listens and begins to act all lovey dovey. Although i do love this, i feel bad. It’s as though he is always catering ‘who he is’ to fit ‘what anyone wants’ and simply for their approval. #wunnahatesthis

For example, If i wanted him to be a beast…he would. If i wanted him to be shy…he would be and all because he strives to be everyones little bit of perfection. He’s a people pleaser! UGH. What i want from him, is to BE HIM, bruises and all and to trust that i will accept him no matter what. I’m a girl who is ALWAYS myself and i simply can’t help it. I’m the same with everyone, a cutsie, bubbly, honest, annoying straight talking, bitch. 🙂

I know a lot about Pete, more than anyone. But there’s so much i don’t know about him because he refuses to let ANYONE see him at his worst. He gives himself high personal standards. I give myself low ones, so that i’m always a winner.

Look, I’m a kitty cat that is FULLY immersed in life. I’m drowning in it, with champagne, music and in a party dress merrily. I’m shouting, celebrating, living , feeling and doing whatever it is I want. Pete, is a ‘being’ who is standing still, (with the potential to be celebrating, living, shouting…ehs’ done it with me before) yet there’s HIM, a thin glass barrier, then there’s life. (I actually know a lot of people like this. The reason why a lot of my friends like me is because i am able to hand hold them through that barrier, then ninja kick it down, so they can play in life to!)

I just need to make Pete be filled with soo much emotion, and he is an emotional boy, that he explodes with expression, be it good or bad and breaks that glass barrier down…so he can live the rest of his life with me….joining in with my pokery, rather than calmly watching from behind a screen. I say it ALL THE TIME. You ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE AS YOU! Be whoever it is you want to be, and DO not care what others may think of you. Unfortunately, i’m Chrissie Wunna and therefore rubbish at making humans feel in a calm fashion. So (wait for it) i’m going to wind him up merrily, until he explodes. That’s the only way i think, he will FREE himself of structure. Yipppee! ( I hope i don’t get dumped, as i am having his baby? )

He text me this morning after i annoyed him last night. I have a rubbish sense of humour. It’s based upon humour at the expense of others. It’s evil and sarcastic, so i tend to wind people up, as a joke and then find it really funny. 🙂 I think i was innocently telling him that i had dated soo many hot male models, that on occasion i enjoy to date a ‘not so commerically handsome’ guy in order to maybe get treated better. (That was the beginning part of the joke. Yes, i was already doomed. Oh and i do want to inform you that the hottter the guy, if you’re delicious yourself and you should think you are…the lovelier he is as a boyfriend, believe it or not. The ugly ones are more insecure, and become jealous of you and try to batter you down…but only if you’re the HOT one.)

Anyway, i told him that less attractive boy joke and after 20 minutes of playful bickering (and because each line of my joke was getting more and more offensive…HAHAHAHAA..and therefore he was getting all uppity with me ….HAHAHAHA….) it ended with a punchline of ‘that’s why i’m dating you.’ 🙂 But because he had decide to argue with me, at every line of the joke, it didn’t seem like a joke anymore and just sounded like 20 minutes of bickering about attractivenss and then me telling him that he was UGLY. HAHAHAHA. My three minute joke, turned into a 22 minute argument. (I’m actually so evil, that i’m actually still finding it funny now.)

Anyway, and quite luckily it ended with ‘OMG! Chrissie you little stupid BITCH!’ (Loving couple, i know.)  Then laughter from both parties, followed. So therefore i think i did pretty well. He did however do that thing where he pretended his phone was about to run out of battery, in order to get me off the phone. I let him go. I had made him ‘feel’ for the night. Poor boy, probably cried himself to sleep, after fake laughter. HAHA. I’m awful! But it’s the only way he’ll learn and i’ll be entertained.

However, all is well (it always is) because i got a text reading ‘Morning baby, i love you. I can’t get you outta my head.’ (That was my 11.16am.) You might not love my sense of humour at the time, but later you’ll find i’ve given you a story to tell. I should get medals for it. I’m the kitty cat who is always remembered and for emotionally peeking in the peeky holes, you never wanted me to poke in and push at! I do everything with a smile…as long as there’s zero malicious intent…then you are fine to joke away.

Other than all that, i’ve spent the morning attempting to body pop. I don’t really enjoy it, because jerkiness pisses me off. I enjoy, a glamour pussy  ‘smooth’ movement. However, because i have big fake boobies, it made me look like i was really good at the chest pops of body. I didn’t even really have to move. I just, edged my ‘front,’ a milli-inch forward and it looked like a FULL BLOWN *POP.* (I actually recieved a Tweet from a boy named Greg, who claims that if i spun on my boobies, i’d win prizes and everything.) I loved that! But i’m far too smart for surrendering myself to such a crime. I need these boobies to get me free dinners and laid and husbands. (My personality is far to shit to score the good men.) Why would i wear them away for the sake of dance? OMG, totally had a dream last night, where i’m doing nothing throughout the whole entire dream but wearing a salmon coloured dress, with diamantes on and with a face that made me look like a happy and rather excited drunken sailor. I was non-stop shimmi-ing, from side to side. What does that mean??? My poor child..

Mid cuppa tea, i got bored and thought i wanted to work for Louis Vuitton in Leeds, so i zipped up their website for upcoming jobs? Instead of skimming the careers on offer, i ended up buying online, yep e-shopping (which i usually despsie)  and purchasing myself the Courtney MM bag. 🙂 I had to decide if i wanted to save extra money for my upcoming child, or just buy the bag, because there’s always enough ‘dolla  dolla? ‘

I bought the bag, i can’t wait to recieve it. I called the Louis Vuitton store to make myself feel better and then realized that i should’ve got their bag that is called ‘Chrissie.’ UGH! I adore their little life carriers. But only the multi coloured  monogram ones. They’re more me. A bit cheekier, sassy, fun loving, but still fashionably. Can i say a bit more ‘hoochie?

Handbags are like men but better and i honestly would rather at times surround myself around beautiful girly things, like lipsticks, pearls, Louis Vuitton bags and tinsel, over men. Men cause us trouble, even when they worship us. Our bags will always love us whole heartedly….even in the rain.

The white bag is the piece of Vuitton i opted for and the black one is the one i SHOULD’VE got and because it’s named ‘Chrissie.’ Loving life! Live yours!

 

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