Just a Quickie before my London Pokery

So i’m actually all lashed and groomed waaaay before my i needed to be. I actually dolled up faster than i thought i would. I’m in my dress and everything, in my upstairs study, listening to a Buddhist chanting tape of blessings that my mums has put on for me, to wish me luck. 🙂

Moments before, i was being glittered and twinkled and curled, maybe poked? Then i was spun out of my fluffy pj’s of pink and squeezed into my dolly dress of *wa-woowee.* During the naked part of that process i forced a human to hold my boobies in their hands, mid-change over, so that gravity didn’t get to them and they wouldn’t sag. 🙂 (It’s hard being a Glamour Puss. Unfortunately it was a blood relative and therefore, they didn’t appreciate bundling an E cup full of palstic magic that early in the morning. (There’s a fly in my tea. Do i just scoop it out with my nail and drink it?)

My train isn’t until 11.35am and it’s only 9.33am. I’ve had brekafast and everything. Infact, i can’t even believe how early and on actual time i am! People are now sticking white Post-it’s on me, in order for me to remember to take my directions. I have a horrific sense of direction and therefore it is a must do in Wunna Land. I always end up leaping into a taxi, in order to save the day, but ah well…we’ll see how well i do today. I usually BBm friends (like Dino or Sammie) who guide to my destination.

I preferred the finding of places when i didn’t have to. I mean when i was in the BBF house, we had drivers and minders and security  and lovelies who catered to our every whim. Our busy days were made easier, simply because we were carted in luxury to each destination and babied over with adoration. Now, i have to find my own way, until i get an assistant and quite frankly it SUCKS! I was born to have assistants. It’s hard enough carry my ego around, let alone my bags! [Do a sad face here, just for sympathy.]

Anyway, i’m writing a blog, simply to waste time and i figured in this moment i could answer some of my journalist questions that have gotten emailed to me. I still ahven’t managed to do them yet and they’re super dooper important much. Today is gonna be busy! I can under no circumstances miss my last train home. being stranded at Kings Cross is too much of a haunting memory of the past for me to go through again. lol. Plus, i’m carrying a bundle, all inside my belly. If i get attacked by luggage of wheels today, there’s going to be spitting and fighting and weave damage.

I can’t wait for the book. I’m really excited. I can’t wait to shoot for it. I#m truely excited for that. Today, i’m filming for two shows. I have Hollywood waves in my hair. I’m blingy, i’m bold and bitches i am fiiiiiine!

All i have to do today is sit on sitty things and answer questions on camera. My favourite thing to do sober. I feel like the luckiest girly in the world. One day, it will be MINE! But for now, i’m happy and delicious and full of delight.

I feel like everyone who’s ever been on a British reality show is currently scrambling around for a bit of ‘i need to make it’ attention. I’ve noticied people edging out of the wood works, trying to smear ‘heeellllooo much’ all over the joint. Kittens off my show, kittens off other shows, kittens off this show, that show..you get it….it’s not rocket science.

I myself, personally feel great, because all along, i’ve kept my existance, be it good, or be it bad…constant! I’ve worked hard, the whole entire time. I haven’t been bitty with ooh laa. Which has lead to the book and the tour, and then the makeup line…and the filming.

Right now, i feel like i’m destined for good things and even though we all know i’m a rather competitive soul, there really is room for everyone. They just need to find their niche. I have mine and it can’t be stolen. I’ve partied and winked and glammed and puked all over this merry country. I’ve earned my ‘Glamour Puss’ title. 🙂

Anyway, hope you have a winderful day. I adore you. xx

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