Judge my basket

What i learnt of day is that you can tell a lot about a person by whats in their shopping basket at a grocery store. My favourite is ‘Morrisons,’- not because it’s better, yet simply because it’s nearest. There was some horrid ‘work-out’ girl infront of me in line, frowning upon my chosen basket goods, from her lofty pedastal of green veggie ‘better then me-ness.’ I have no idea what that girl runs on?? but there sure as hell wasn’t anything worth having in her little wire nest of Morrison goodies!! All i saw was random leafy greeness. It was full to the brim, spewing over with non-fat, soy crap, cabbage patch goodness. She probably had a couple of bunnies making ‘whoppee’ under her ‘iceberg’ montage. She looked like she was quite ashamed of my existance…lol. So i adjusted my boobies, and gracefully flung my goods onto the check-out belt. It was like a ‘food-off.’ Unfortunately, i was pretty much screwed, as all i happened to have to ‘sonic boom’ her ‘work-out’ ass, was a large can of ‘Red bull,’ some scented wet wipes, and a giant box of express relief pain killers!! (Ooooh yeah, girlfriend!!) The girl after me only had doughnuts, so i think i did pretty well?

After that i went to the tanning salon, yet got trapped in a toilet, that so happened to also be quite cleverly used as a closet/junk room??? I peed next to a mop, and an evening gown??? Weirdest toilet ever…it had a large unfrosted window, on the door, so people could see your head whilst you squatted. No-one realised i was locked in there for a full 7 minutes, apart from a 6 year old boy, in a Batman t-shirt who was not being very helpful and instead doing ‘chinky’ eyes at me to pass the time!! I was eventually let out, and realised it must be a trick the salon uses to make your lay down time on the bed, feel soooooooo much better than usual. They stress you the fuck out, then say, ‘Hey lie down…relax…come again!’ I’m in again tomorrow at 10am.

I love my life and you should too! x

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