Jiggly Juggly Jubblies

Exhausted! I’ve literally only just got home after a looong day of work and a whole delicious bunch of ‘after work’ errands. I’m know i’m a ‘DIVA’ much and all that shimmie. But at the end of the day i’m very very pregnant and in 6 merry weeks…a little girl will be squeezing her way out of my vagina. I’m going to be a Mummy and now that 2011 has really kicked in for me. I’m what some may call ‘TERRIFIED!’ I can’t believe i’ve actually managed almost 9 entire months of carrying a bambino? WTF! I will tell you that i’m loving every moment of it. However, the fear and the exhaustion…topped off with the best *waddle* in town has really tangoed into my life! Even though i haven’t done much, but work in a diamante bracelett and with a hair piece in. I might have pouted a little too wondered why i couldn’t see under my eyelashes? I’m knackered and when you dollop that off with boobies and a gentle sway of hormones. (Everything is driving me nuts right now.) You kinda have to sit back, rub ya belly and laugh. Whenever i’m mad, i take it out on Loverboy. I mean he’s been nothing but a true delight and sat there lovingly telling me that he loves me more than the moon and the stars, then back again. (I do enjoy the adoration.) He’s looking at me now with a steamy frying pan in his hand, asking me if i like spicy food. Aww! But i’m doing okay for a floozy who never thought she could ever break away from a scene of’ party party.’ I can’t believe how tanned my hands are? They’re peeling. My *bump* is sucking away all moisture in my entire system…except from my vagina. That’s like a leaky tap. Highly off putting. Pete told me off today for using too much toilet paper. Apparently i am to pluck a square..wipe…fold it…wip, then RE-FOLD it..(ewww)…the wipe and then maybe *drop* followed by the ‘flush.‘ In the Wunna household, we pull as much as we want, we enthusiastically tug and wipe million times over. I’M PREGGO! My vagina is leaking 24/7. Don’t tell me not to use your toilet roll, because i really will be forced to use your shower curtain. (I’m sick of panty puddles, for no reason!)

Okay today, i’ve had staplers fired at me, by two different males. (I have that effect on men. They either hate me, want to ‘fun’ with me or try to impress me with delicious ‘playground’ tactics. One of the gents had an Action Man hair cut. The other wipes boogies on computer mouse things. I’ve had a birthday boy threaten to celotape my hair piece onto my head and i’ve combined a peppermint Aero with a Greek salad for lunch, after listenning to a merry chorus of ‘beings‘ do my voice to lottery numbers.

I’ve moaned because boys have used me as an ATM. But then felt the happiest i could ever feel , after having my Mother make me realize how much appreciates me. For those of you who don’t know. I ADORE my Mother. We couldn’t be more alike and i couldn’t love anyone MORE than i love her. Especially during this chapter of my life, where i’ve found myself becoming a Mother. Whenever everything crumbles around me, i looked down and she’s always the person i see holding me up, out of the chaos. These days i get to hold HER up and make sure that she’s dipped in utter luxury. All Wunna’s love a bit of luxury. It’s in our blood and well i couldn’t think of a anything better….except love.

I got handed over cold hard cash by a loved one. Eskimo nose rubbed by Loverboy, who thinks i’ve rather ‘kind.’ I’ve had the most comedic twin boys run circles around me, by a giant tub of DIY wine, behind fairy lit windows and alongside a whole lot of floozy back ache and waking up to Japanese water torture, i’ve had almost 42 cups of tea and a choc ice.

I can’t wait to be a mum. But i will tell you that WORK is taking precedence. It’s the only thing keeping me calm, even though i have a hundred people around me telling me to stop trying to be ‘brilliant’ at everything and just take the time to relax. I just can’t and because i love money and money making. I’m a sucker for it and well if i’m going to teach my upcoming little girl the ways of utter Glamour pussing, in the form of girl ‘IT’…i’m going to need an endless fountain of ‘grows on trees.’ I’m happy, strong and ready to champion the world. Join me…it’s fun!

Entertainment wise everyone wants a piece of me right now. But the main thing i want to concentrate on and immediately (other than the baby) is my BOOK. I can’t wait for it all to get going now, so i’m gonna buckle down and get it all done. Then you’re going to buy it and worship me or something? (Loverboy is trying to make me notice himr ight now. People always do that when i’m blogging? Let the floozy work.) The book will be a dream come true and if i could write my way to victory, then i will…as it’s obviously something i have a rather flirty relationship with. I’ve weirdly stayed so faithful to it?

Everything else entertainy…aside from any Telly appearances, will have to wait. I have a million people and their donkies trying to be my priority right now. ‘Chrissie read this! Chrissie reply to that!’ The book, baby, work and life are all that i can concentrate on right now. I’m an ace juggler…but i really can’t handle everything. I’m preggo. I have sorted my list of importance and i’m sticking to it. I have to. Ain’t nothing i can do dollies! I need to remember to look after ME right now, instead of constantly looking after everyone else. It’s that that i’m finding tiring.

Okay, i’ve godda go because i have a trifle winking at me and assuring me it wants a *lick.* Mmmm…delicious! When things wink at you, it’s only polite to lick them…but only if you are sure you won’t end up with a fanny coldsore. I feel like the busiest person ever right now. I need my feet up and a big cuddle. Luckily, i know just the ‘Handsome’ to cater to such duties. It’s hard being a Glamour puss. *Fans herself.*

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