It’s all about the tinsel….& dickheads


‘When i grow up, I want to be a M.I.L.F’ said the doughie eyed asian Glamour Puss, adorning her knee high socks and frilly pink pants reading ‘Cherry’ to her ever dreamy soldier of a new ‘handsome’ in his back garden under the sun.

‘Well i’m gonna be…? Wait what do they call hot men, who have kids?’

‘Dickheads! 🙂 ‘ *Giggle-Giggle-Wink.*

Then they got back to ‘love’ and let the weekend and the early ‘whirl’ of romance, get the better of them

I’ve once again had an amazing weekend. All new, fresh, random and exciting. I’m feeling quite adored right now. (Even though i did have a Princess weep, yesterday by ducklings, after a wine and a gorgeous sunday carvery. Followed by another bit of a cry at The Castle, as ‘handsome’ and I committed to performing the beautiful art of ‘stropping’ at one another. ) I worked for a jolly old ‘hungover’ chunk of the weekend, yet i’m not going to talk about that. Work is work and always terrible when you’re having a bad hair and bad face day. The best part of ‘work’ was the fact that afterward ‘Team Kerian’ and I got matching spray tans. Any couple that adorn matching spray tans are ‘forever.’ He giggled through his. I pouted through mine. (I hate that dinner lady cap you have to wear during it. When i’m being pampered…there is nothing worse that feeling like your next duty is ‘spooning out the mash..for year 7.’ )

Let me zoom you into the good parts of the weekend and fold away the ‘work’ parts. Imagine indoor, outdoor fun with the lovely that currently makes you hold up your ‘smitten’ card effortlessly and keep your fingers crossed for the future. We chilled outside, in the sun with wine. He laid on the decking looking free and content. I ponced up and down, then round and around, outside his man-made summer house, posing at my own windowed mirror image (yes i am that tragic) informing him that I intend to turn the decking into a catwalk, for obvious hoochie reasons, that could only make sense to a Wunna. Luckily, we’re the same, therefore he completely understands my foolishness, as i do his, and we *clink* to it with a wiggle and a man smooch.

After a bit of a nap, and a recoup. It’s a hard life being a robotic Ken Doll and a bitchy Barbie. We cuddled, pulled ourselves together, opted for a quick groom and tottered over to his friends, Kate & Adie’s home for a bit of evening garden fun. The night was apparently meant to be one of those chilled out, calm eves, where you sit under the stars and have a bit of a chitter chatter with your beverage of choice, with friends. (We were at their wedding the previous weekend before and you all know how ace that accidentally ended up.)

Anyway, yeah…the exact same thing happened. There we were chillaxing with a wine, in the garden, in the evening my candles and Aunt Ali..having a pizza and being really shit at an iphone quiz..and just like magic, within the next hour the peaceful, bit of calm garden ‘chitter chatter’ had transformed into a full on rave of insania in Aunt Ali’s living room.

Kate…(who i’ve newly met and adore and simply because everytime i meet her she’s in a long dress and completely wasted,) Alongside ‘Team Keiran’ fully commited to his randomly ace, living room rave. I was on chill mode, so i sat on a sofa giggling at Aunty Ali, who kept telling me that my ‘soldier’ must be smitten.

‘Adie’ became a DJ. Kerian leapt through the living room, embracing the full art of madness, the odd art of dance, totally wearing sunglasses, being American and well…just waving the decent flag of ‘out of controlness.’ At any point during a party, be it in a club or a living room, you feel the need to go to a corner, where you have discovered a ‘white’ board’ and marker and you make the executive decision to intricately draw a picture of a dildo that we all believe his male friend uses during sex, with alternate ‘speed levels’ followed by needing a ‘cuddle time’ with Wunna in a quieter living room, because the art of dance had got the better of you…you know you’re fucked.

I Loved it and was surprisingly GOOD all night. It was soooo much fun. That accidental kind that you really don’t know is going to happen.

Anyway, fun was had. Katie disappeared and crashed out in bed, after a bit of a bicker and a fun bit of vino. The evening waved us off and we got our pretty ‘newly in love’ selves back home in one tanned piece..(‘You look like you’ve just come back from Afghan Keiran.’) and after a poo, weirdly uncontrollable giggling, custard creams, more giggling, and a cuddle, we fell asleep, after a bonk and let the next day occur…hopefully without a headache. 🙂

Morning dawned. I was all bright and early. My ‘Handsome’…not so much. I groomed as he slept. Then when he woke, we performed what we BOTH like to call ‘Love Making.’ Lol. We call it this simply because for once (and we have an amazing sex life) it didn’t feel like we had simply used each other for sex. Yippee! Well done us!

We made ‘lurve’…that good kind of nookie, where you have that random moment, where you look at one another and actually feel like you couldn’t possibly do life with anyone else. Then we laughed, wiped up and had another nap, followed by a quickish groom for a yummy dinner in New Miller Dam. (We’re quite the popular couple when we go out and we have no idea why. But people ‘aww’ at us and sit and have conversations about ‘love’ and cuteness with me at our table.)

Dinner was lovely, although complex talk was discussed. There are levels to love and well when we’re going to the next lovely rung, we get all terrified for a moment before we ‘high five’ it and get on with it.

There were tears by ducks, followed by good times, followed by drinks in a cozy bar, followed by awkward words, dribbled over with more accidental tears. All this ended up a ‘makeup’ and an ‘ i love you’ meaning just like that we got back to normal. I hate Princess weeping over nothing. But i’m glad i did because it made our bond much stronger. Today and all of last night we have been nothing but utterly smitten and well i truely can’t think of a better way to be. (I love that my friend ‘Robbo’ has just mistaken me for someone else, right infront of me. LMAO. He claims it was the ‘Black version of me’ and got all mixed up, because he was sure it was my *totter.* 🙂

I’ve worked all day and i’m not working my ‘Updo.’ You know you’re a marvel when your own neck aches from having to hold up your ‘updo.’

Life is great my kittens…i wonder what happens next?


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