It could be better…


 Afternoon my delicious dumplings of utter ‘ooh laa.’  I’m feeling quite chipper today for a floozy who hasn’t quite yet managed to kitty cat grab herself that little extra bit of sleep. I’m loving life. Feeling giddy. Doing it glamourous and weirdly watching my dreams come true right before my very eyes I’m no longer hung over. Woohoo! There’s nothing wors to me now then those few days of hanging. Luckily, i only lost my dignity. My wallet and virginity are still in tact. I think? Well if wallet means dignity and dignity means virginity and well…as my friends say, i’m a glamour puss that may have never come armed with a virginity. Can you buy those?

Other than being sort of happy (boys ruin my day) and filling my gym perv quota for the day. I’ve actually worked quite hard and i find that when i work hard and stay interested in me…ofcourse with a wink…then the species with the willies come to play. Men are a werid breed. I mean, like most, i have two Facebook accounts. One for work, one for play. Work…is the ‘add everyone who loves Wunna’ promo account and ‘Play’…is a list of my real life friends. 🙂 I enjoy both and simply because when i’m in the mood for fans i can flick over to what i call the  ‘Chrisse Wunna (Le Diva)’ profile…or if i’ve had enough of perv central and need a bit of verbal abuse from my ‘day to day’ companions..I can simply ‘scroll-click’ myself some love, from the ‘little, old, me’ profile. Neither profile is BETTER than the other. I talk to my fans MORE than i talk to my actual friends. HAHAHA. I’m not stupid, i’ll talk to the ones that massage my ego the mos! 🙂 (And no…’ego’ does not mean vagina.)

Anyway, what i was gonna tell you about my ‘Chrisse Wunna’ (Le Diva) profile was simply that right now the gentleman of the world find it appropriate to inbox me the exact size of their penis, followed by a ‘marry me.’ Not being funny or anything. But who raised MEN? Lol. They have ONE shot to make an impression on me and they use that shot deciding and fumbling over what i might want to hear and fuck it all up by just going with ‘aah my willies ****** big.’ HAHA. I mean a girl would NEVER…well not any girlsi know (apart from 4 🙂 ) would fancy a darling fellow and then think i know, i’m gonna inbox him with a ‘my vagina is 42 inches wide.’ 

I’m the grown up verison of me and although the grown-up version, still ends up drunk, winking, pouting, chasing all the wrong boys and weeping into cocktails in Jimmy Choo’s and nipple tassles under chandeliers…she’s really not that easy a pull anymore. I feel like i’ve had soo many encounters with Cupid, that i’m not too trusing of him anymore. I mean Pete is the ever doting Father of my gorgeous daughter. However, i’m never impressed by him..even when he tries. Lovely guy. But i’m tired of him messing up, then dipping into my bank balance and even when my mood is quite glittery. 

Then life gets littered with the exes, the newbies, the flirts that are potential futures..who i stand back from, watch and see how well they intend to treat me. They all have a go at charming the little Glamour Puss..yet i’m to old now to take chances on chancers. Whatever will be, will be. I’m a kitty cat of the sink or swim method. If you can’t handle me with this merry strutt of ‘ooh laa’ then you’ll never beable to. I like expression from men…and right now…i’m not getting it. I’m getting a dance around the very truest of emotion. I like to her the adoration lol and simply because it really is all that i am used to! 🙂 (I am soo glad i am not hungover anymore. That was horrific.) But yeah…i’m flirting right now and gathering my thoughts. We’ll see what the world and gin will bring me…and hopefully not herpes. 😉

Other than all that, i’m feeling fighting fit, ready to conquer the world and all about doing it in heels. I’m on a mad hunt for chewing gum. No-one in my entire vicinity seems to own a piece ANYWHERE. I mean, i’m talking i’ll even settle for pocket gum here.

I’m reading all of your messages, thankyou for following my life. I enjoy that the Burmese have placed a picture of me up in order to be ‘blessed,’ (Lord help me)… I can’t wait to finally get my nails soaked off tomorrow, I’m addicted to Celeb Big Brother and that sweary Dwarf show on Channel 4..( I once got dry humped by a hip/hop dwarf in LA and made out with a dwarf dressed as an elf 2 years ago) and well life really isn’t too bad. It could obviously be better. Lol.

I’m excited for my book. I’m feeling really lucky. I’m hoping for the best in everything that i do. Yet right now feel kinda like a prop in my own game of life. I’m terrified because i don’t know where it will take me. I never used to be terrified. Yet the good thing about being scared…is that fact that it will keep me out of trouble (and we all know i’m great friends with that beast.)

I haven’t heard from Latin lover in ages after I shouted at him for being a prick. I on occassion will check up on my ex-hubby in cyberland to see how life is treating him.  I at the same time Google ‘check up’ on myself to see who the good world is treating me, 🙂 and well…i’m losing my baby weight. I can finally work a thong! There is a GOD! *Wiggle-giggle-strut*

All life is about is having fun, making the most of …not only IT… but YOU and your glorious abilities to achieve greatly. Add loving and laughing with those who at that time..are worth it and respecting the people that raised you…you  have everything. You just often forget that you do. (Aaah the Chrissie Wunna way.) 😉

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