It ain’t easy being this ‘pimpy’ & Perv Monday

I keep having these weird nightmares, where Mike (my ex-hubby) is taking me on evening car journey’s around Hollywood. After our divorce, we did a lot of these random car journeys. Of recent they are deciding to litter my dreams. I have no idea why…but i don’t like it.

On a better note…i managed to have a GIANT fight with Loverboy this morning, who refuses to stop himself believing i’m his never ending cash machine. He went one snarky mark too far and just like that, as I tickled my little Ruby ‘bye-bye’ for the day (I had to work) I committed to a giant  DIVA (and totally in short pink dress and heels) and stormed away from him, through the busy morning streets, without a care in the world and an glitzy (there it is) ‘INDEPENDANT WOMAN’ sign above my head. I’m tired of his pathetic ways right now and today i VOICED IT. *PURR-WIGGLE-WINK* I mean who does he honestly think he is! Buy you’re own shit mister and let ME do my ‘thang.’ Over it. (He curb crawled and tried to follow me with ‘sorries’ and excuses. I *hair-tossed* and walked on. I mean, who do YOU think I AM. Certainly not a force to be reckoned with. I come with firecrackers, tits and everything. Know you’re place and wave that flag of respect. 🙂

I got in a nearby taxi, just to ease the feist, as Pete tried to ‘call my bluff.’ (He went from apologetic to evil in a millisecond by the way.) Right now i can’t stand him. I’m angry and needing to feel FREE, independant and filled with a sizzle of ‘ooh laa.’ I don’t like or need drama, but what i hate most about him is the fact that he has become so ungrateful for everything he has been aided with. Awful trait. Hidieous amount of ego. I play #ego-mania. Yet i’m a Glamour Puss who’s grateful for every single last *strutty* breath she takes!

Got in the taxi and got perved ont he whole way there. Lol. Just my luck. It’s mildy off putting have Bollywood songs sang to your boobs at 9.34am, through traffic. HOWEVER..and if you’re one of my chica’s, you will know that MONDAY is actually ‘PERV MONDAY!’ Woohoo! The day of the week, where my chick friends and I are blessed with the opportunity to perv over half naked, gym going men in shorts, through cheap plastic blinds. Nothing is better. Like really..nothing is better! Don’t ever tell me that i don’t ‘give back’ to the community. Lol. I don’t actually think ‘Perv Monday’ was very good today because i remember getting distracted by a wedding (which is the EXACT opposite thing to ‘Perv Monday’) and weirdly found myself asking for milk? There’s a distinct lack of talent. I need eye candy and i need it like now. But only on Mondays. Any other day it doesn’t count.

Other than all that, i’m stil not over Kelly’s ‘Toy Boy’ warehouse find. I mean is that the height of ‘Chrissie Wunna’s ville or what!! We ALL know that I ADORE  a ‘Toyboy’ and intend to reign from very lofty ‘Cougar’ heights one day. It made me miss Kelly. I mean how can you not miss a girl of such genius. The girl who made me realize that if love goes wrong..i can simply just BUY IT. Hahaha.

I can’t wait for ‘Jersey shore’ tonight. My brand new BED has FINALLY arrived. I’m having to live out of 2 homes right now. Yet the arrival of the bed makes me feel like it’s all coming together..even though it’s not at all. I’m excited about moving, I hate the ‘London riots’ (why botherstealing tellies..loot Gucci :)) and along with being ‘not very discreet’ with men, i’m deadly excited about my book. I can’t remember if it’s good or bad? However, i’m sure i can wing it any way? *Wiggle-wink*

My love life is always appauling…was I just made to be a kitty cat of rather glitzy ‘singledom?’

On a chipper note, one of  my best LA modelly friends Ronnie, has launched his own YOUTUBE cooking show and website. It’s AMAZING… and well i have far too many stories with this ‘handsome’ to even begin to tell you. He’s like my little brother and i’ve emotionally mentored him in Hollywood, from when he was only 19…hence why he’s naked. 🙂

Go to www.CookingForYouandMe.com  and how him a whole lot of ‘glitzy’ support. I love him!

 

 

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