In the flesh??

Okay, Monday morning at 9am, Loverboy and i woke up early because it was the day that we were to find out whether we were having a baby boy, or a baby girl! EXCITING DAY!!! I even woke up at 7am, to begin my scan prep process of water drinking, after dolling up and finding the perfect pair of heels. I was tanned, glorious and in a little baby blue dress, that was Hepburn chic…then at 8.15am, i realized that i had complelety FORGOTTEN my preggo paperwork that I NEEDED to take with me, in order for me to have a scan!!! (Typical Wunna Drama.) I’ve been super forgetful, since being pregnant? They say it happens to women hormonally and deliberately in order to make them forget the pain of childbirth. I love that whenever i forget important things or fuck up deliciously. Loverboy never ever loses it with me. He’ll always calmly mend the situation and with a smile. I do the opposite and run around calling people *stupid.* HAHA.

Loverboy lives exactly 4 minutes away from the hospital, and the whole point to me staying over was due to this little convenience. At 8.17am…he leaps out of sheets, throws on the same clothes as yesterday (a white superdry t-shirt and grey jogging bottoms) and like James Bond (if Bond was half black, half asleep and half bonered) drives me on a mission all the way to my house, through morning rush hour, whilst i’m reading the most cutest text messages from my Mother who was wishing me good luck, telling me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me for being all responsible. 🙂

I finally got home, tottered my *bump* and I up the stairs, after battling with FAR TOO HEAVY doors, that refuse to open, simply by me *winking* at them. I grabbed my notes, managed to grab two chocolate breakfast muffins and a pair of new heels that didn’t smell like kitten wee and a pair of Uggs. (My ‘rush’ priorites are exceptional.) Then i re-battled far too heavy doors, ran out to the readily awaiting ‘get away’ car…and after bumping over a few puddles, cobbles and to Chris Moyles on the Breakfast show, on our radio, we finally got to the Pontefract General Hospital, with 3 minutes to spare, 50p in the parking meter and an elevator trip to Floor D, to where all the other preggo’s were. All types of women, there were. Young ones, old ones, rich ones, poor ones. Ones with partners and ones who were alone. All giving birth shortly. Members of life. Each of us were holding the juicy vaginal doors, to a new ‘being’ that would enter the world screaming and live for a ‘maybe’ 100 years. How special is that!

The madness actually made me forget how actually terrified i was. The scan always terrifies me and because even though i’m ever the joker about my sudden pregnancy..i truely do not want ANYTHING bad to have happened to my baby. I love my *bump* with everything that i am…more than i love myself. It just means everything to me, that now i couldn’t imagine a life without bringing my child into this world. (There’s an inside me & and outside me on this matter. I’m a terribly open girl…but for some reason, this subject, i hold to my heart… quietly.)

We were the first ones in, at 9am sharp. The room was quite cozy, blue and darkish. My 20 week scan wasn’t as scary, but part of you can’t help but feel terrified, as you laid down on the couch, and lift your dress up to reveal your pair of pink frilly knickers and your *bump* ready to get gelled up and ultrasounded.

Now, i IMMEDIATELY told the lady that i would NOT be okay, until i was shown that the baby was 100% live and kicking, with a delicious continuous *thud-thud* of a heartbeat. Therefore being the lovely that she was, in minutes…she turned the screen to me and showed me my baby. It was the most perfect thing ever. THANK GOD!

From that point on, i just laid on my back and didn’t watch, as she checked the baby for the correct measurements and made sure it had developed correctly. It took ages, but i loved it. Instead of watching the screen…i mean i let the lady do her job. ..I watched Pete. (Last time, he was sort of *blank* due to being overwhelmed,)

This time, i watched him eagerly, without him knowing. (He couldn’t take his eyes off the screen.) I watched him lovingly, as he tried to reach for my hand, without looking and because he couldn’t believe what we had created.  His eyes welled up, and i watch him swallow tiny little lumps, in order to stop himself from crying. It kinda made me happy. It made me feel like i’d chosen the right man to father my child. He looked at me…like people do when they all of a sudden realize they’re being watched. He smiled…and looked at me like i was the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on.

Then the scan lady told me my baby was being stubborn and in order for her to fully complete the ‘check up’ i had to go do a big wee, to let some water out of my bladder, and go for a 5 minute walk up and down the corridor, because it was refusing to lay on it’s front.

Up i *popped*…did what felt like the biggest wee of my life, and with Loverboy by my side took my *bump* for a brisk, and rather glamourous ‘bimbo’ walk, up and down a nearby hospital corridor. I talked to my *bump* tried to wake it up and then couldn’t be arsed with walking anymore…it never was my forte..and instead commited to a routine of MARCHING on the spot to the count of 4, and then doing 2 wiggles. Yes, i looked like a puss at a party that wasn’t even happenning. But i do the mentally ill look really well. It’s all in the eyes.

Luckily, the corridor time went by quickly and we were escorted back into the room, where i found myself laid on my back, dressed pulled up and with gel on my belly, as we all re-looked at my baby.

It worked! It wiggling worked. We watched it wake up, then suck it’s thumb, (AWWWWW) and then *yawn* like it was already fed up with it all, and then looked at us weirdly…like we weren’t on the list!! I LOVED IT!! OMG! My heart melted. It was AMAZING. I’m for the first time i thought i coud actually shout out that i was going to me  MUMMY!! It’s such a magical moment…one that you only feel once in your whole entire life. BETTER THAN ANYTHING, you think makes you happy!

Anyway, it all got emotional and quiet. If i’m honest, i was waiting for the lady to ask us whether we wanted to know the sex of our baby? Pete was thinking that too…but neither of us said anything, because obviously this was the first time we were going through all this and didn’t know what the standard code of conduct was? I was too scared to ask. We both were! We were waiting for her to do that comforting ‘Do you want to know the sex’ thing, like they do in the movies!

We leave the room, happy, but half bewildered…as the door shut behind us. It was weird. I didn’t like it.

In the waiting room and whilst waiting for our scan pictures. (Our baby is much bigger now. It’s FULLY developed and i’m carrying it like a champion…in heels.) I sight one of Pete’s college friends, who i guess has a girlfriend who’s expecting a baby also. There’s all these secret ‘expecting a baby soons’ in Pontefract. Anyway they shocked each other because Pete also never tells his friends that i’m expecting a baby. He’s terrified that they will not agree with it all and be unsupportive. Luckily, it all went well and i got to begin waiting room investigating about whether i should’ve been told the sex of my baby? I mean that’s what i was ALL excited for!!

By 5 minutes of my *jibber jabber* the whole entire waiting room, now knew what i was going through and all wanted to help. I was even telling that crap joke that Pete has…of how they wouldn’t beable to tell if it was a girl or boy anyway, due to the size of his willy. They’d think it was a girl, when it really was a boy! (A lot of joking went on…but it was pretend…and only to hide the fact that i was deeply upset that i didn’t know. It’s common Chrissie Wunna behaviour. Make’em laugh, to hide the hurt. lol)

Anyway, I MAKE Pete ask the receptionist if we could find out the sex of our bambino and she told us that if we DO NOT ask in the room, then it will not at all be mentioned and we could not go back in OR BOOK another scan because there are no more scans for us and if we wanted to know if we were having a girl or a boy, we would have to WAIT until we saw it in the flesh!!! THEN she gave us an evil bitch *smile.* Eww…that whore! How we were supposed to know that we had to ask? This is our first time in this situation. We were told that we would FIND OUT the sex of our baby, at this scan and NOT told that if we didn’t ask, then it wouldn’t be mentioned….AT ALL! OMG!

We walked away not being able to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl and in about 18 weeks, i’ll have my baby in my arms. I was sooo upset! Really upset. As we walked to the downtairs toilet, we were stopped by two women, who had been in the waiting room, who had heard me grumble. They told us that for £90 we could buy a 3D/4D scan at a local clinic, and they would tell us the sex. I’m finally happy…but story of my life….i’m gonna have to pay £90 to find out if it has a willy. Nothing changes! UGH! I’m laughing about it all…but i am upset that i don’t know, if i’m having a girl or a boy? I feel cheated and i’m taking it out on everyone. LOL.

Luckily, my Mother is in the medical field AND in family planning…so i did my ‘daughter much’ complaining and well i think it’s all going to get sorted and quickly. Phewf! This has been my first preggo mishap…and it’s awfulness. I’m a girl that just wants to know, if her *bump* is a girl or a boy? 🙁 I want to beable to name it and buy it things and get all excited by it and finally beable to picture it and bond with my baby. That receptionist was a bitch…she made my heart ache in a waiting room and for once it was over something important and simply not ‘some handsome’ who just hurt me.

HOWEVER nothing is GLUM in Wunna Land. The WONDERFUL thing  about today is that for the first time and at 10.04am this morning…i felt it *KICK.* It never felt so real. It was AMAZING. I did my usual *shocked* face and called Loverboy right away to report the news. Now, i don’t care that i don’t know the sex of my baby…all i know is that no matter what, i have A baby inside me and it’s most terrifyingly wonderful experience i’ve ever been through, in my life! I still hate that receptionist though….i can’t help it.

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