In Doncaster Today

Someone called me last night at 1.40am. It was either a prank, or a booty call. I missed it, because i was fast asleep and i’m gutted because you know when someone calls you at that time that they are usually 94% drunk. Guys tend to do that with me. Get really trashed (Liquid courage rocks) and then start-a-scrolling the magic numbers to ‘Wunnaland.’ Just so you know, i am the Queen of drunk dialing and it’s awful. I’ve whimpered on the voicemail of many a ‘handsome’ begging them to love me…with a helpless ‘But what went wrong?’ (Hahah! Genius.)

Anyway, i’m on a shopping spree today. I’m a fan of purchasing, so that is what i intend to do. I’m also going to ‘pamper.’ I think it’s important for girls to also try and look their best. It’s the quickest way to get attention and good sex. Even when i’m just sat at home watching Eastenders, i’m dressed like i’m going to the ‘Grammy’s.’ (Don’t hate!)

I’m sick of everyone being boring. My subjects are a snooze fest. I mean come on, life isn’t that bad! Perk up and bring ya sexy back. I’d rather batter some of you, then bonk you. Last night so many people i called were just ‘Nah, i’m going to sleep.’ GOING TO SLEEP!!! People i know, don’t go to sleep, they PASS THE FUCK OUT!! There’s a difference….learnt it….(You useless twits.)

Oh and my key to all my delicious Wunnarettes today (who i love more than anything and hope to meet sometime soon) other than ‘rocking the sexy,’ today is a day of ‘Va Voom.’ All hot girls, glamour pusses of ‘ooh laa’ are naturally flirty. So get your Glamour puss on and practice that ‘wink.’

Godda go….on my way to Doncaster.

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