I’m Back Up North For The Weekend

It’s Friday, it’s sunny and i finally have HOT water!!! Yay!!! Omg, yesterday sucked giant hairy balls as when i went to gracefully tamper with my tappy…nothing but a cold gush of ‘tinkle tinkle’ came out, (she does a rather concerned Barbie face.) I had to have a freezing cold shower and well at my age freezing cold showers are no longer sexy by giving you a delicious set of ‘Fripples,’ (frozen nipples, for those of you who don’t know.) But also fucking KILL you after about 4.3 seconds. Now I hate the cold. Hate it!! I hate cold water, cold air, cold hearts, cold anything…but cash. I’m one of those beings that has a ridiculously steamy hot hot bath, that burns you alive for 5 loving seconds. Y’know, one where you step into it, like it’s a snake pit, all vunerable and insecure. (Hahaha… or is that just Me.) But now my darlings, God…or the gas men, who are aimlessly trailing around my appartment… LOVE me. My radiator works. My water is steamy hot and I am completely deliciously sexy once more! Boo-to-the -yaaaah!! (Please perform a ‘happy’ dance at this point in the blog. Or not…you miserable sods.) The shit thing about it and there’s always a shit side to everything, and that’s not really a bad thing, as ‘shit’ sides to things, make the ‘shimmie shake’ sides (yes that Is good)  look better. Infact it also kinda makes the ‘shit’ side look better. The moral to this rather rubbish story, if you are ‘shit‘ hang around something ‘shimmie shake’ and you will automatically become ‘shimmie shake’ too. But you all knew that anyway. What i did actually mean to say was it half sucks that i have heat and hot water right now, as i’m ladeedaaring it back up north today this afternoon, for a day and a half so now i’ll have to pay for heat that i’m not actually using…which is the story of my life really. lol

Lots is happening right now, which is odd as i don’t mean it to be happenning just yet, until Monday, as i’m not ready i tells ya. But on a good note, i’m loving London. I’m loving the new life and i’m loving that i’ve just literally burnt my thigh on my radiator. Ouchy! It’s so sizzle. My body is deliciously sprinkled with tiny little burns that i’ve managed to collect from touching ‘far too hot’ things by accident.

5 thoughts on “I’m Back Up North For The Weekend”

  1. “One of my gays believes that the only reason why his date is ignoring his calls, is because he’s obviously a terrorist. ‘He has buildings and innocents to bomb tonight, that’s why he hasn’t called.’ LOL!! ”

    ~~ Can I just say re. this statement – I may have been a little TOO hasty lol, seeing as nobody got bombed last night afterall…. however – It doesn’t prove he isn’t a terrorist – he’s clearly just waiting for the perfect time to strike…. and IF he ever does call me, it will clearly be to kill me….. clearly…..


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