I wish i was on a hot date

I just got back form ‘Race night’ with the boys of the secret hand shake club. I won the grand total of £3. My horse came in first, yet i only bet a £1…haha . Basically i was in a room, in my full glamour puss glory, and i really do mean FULL pussy glory…i looked divine and like i should’ve worn way more clothes, yet i try to never feel embarassed, glamour pusses, (incase ur hoping to be one when u grow up??) never get embarrassed, even at the most embarassing times. Anyway, there was ME, a bunch of old men, a plate of pie and peas, horse racing, booze, and a plate of pie and peas!! Note, i really am a fat bitch now, the curves have got to go…as theres too many of them and in all the wrong places!

Other than that, i had a great day. It was a day of spending money for no reason. I usually don’t enjoy these days as i’m really quite tight (ooh-darling.) Yet, i splurged, bought an outfit or two, and now will no longer be spending until, i really need something. I have some major jobs coming up, a major audition coming up, and my body really needs to at least try and co-operate with the shedding of the pounds operation. I mean, u know ur too fat to wear an outfit when, u can’t sit down, without chaffing your inside part, and potentially ripping your dress open…and not good kind ‘ripping your dress open.’

The shit thing about today was that everyone was very coupley. I was very not, as my ‘other part to my couple’ is not picking up his phone after i sent him cold hard cash….what a surprise. Apparently his phone has broken….hmm…ofcourse it has darling. Why do i always end up with the shit ‘can’t do anything’ guys! It’s my own fault, i pick’em…haha. I met 2 hot guys today, yet both were attached to girls. One was quite devoted, however,the other, was staring at my clevage, winking at me and asking me out behind the girls back. He was cute, kind of a ‘not as handsome version’ of my LA friend Ryan. I didn’t fancy him though, i just felt like being flirty, because i haven’t flirted in ages, or been on a date. Infact, ‘not as handsome version of Ryan,’ just made me miss ‘real life handsome ryan.’ Typical.

I’m starting to get the attention i would get in LA now, whilst strutting the streets, and although, i like it a lot, i am definitely missing my friends out there. If my latin lover  ‘his phone has apparently broken,’ just got his shit together,  i would be there… by now. Ugh!! SUCKS!!

1 thought on “I wish i was on a hot date”

  1. Sorry… I read as far as “FULL pussy glory” and figured it couldn’t get any better than that!

    I salute you, Chrissie Wunna, and spank you very much!



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