Good afternoon my Merry Munchkins of funk. I’ve had a great day today, an easy one. I worked a little bit this morning, which consisted of pouting, posing and answering personal questions about myself. A whole 2 hours, with mimosas…great breakfast and then i got back home went put on my PJ’s and went back to bed to re-wake up and play ‘lie-in .’ Like i keep saying the last two weeks have battered me in, not only in the looks and energy area of my world, but also within the social scene and career pool. And i HATE that. Therefore i’m winding up my engines to ‘boom boom pow’ it back on top. No-one does ‘Ooh LAA’ like me. I’m the Ultimate Glamour Puss…Queen of Fucking Greatness. Infact, to be honest no-one actually forgot that…but Me.I feel like i’m playing catch up. Nothing is worse than catch up.
Anyway just got home from doing lunch with by sexy bitch of a horny slave
Samuel. I live in Camden. He works in Camden , therefore we lunch on chunky grilled Polish sausage burgers by the canal and we LOVE it. We actually had to smuggle our sausages over the canal and into a ‘no access if u have polish sausages’ seating area, so we could eat and slag off our friends. OMG! My sausage ruined my life! I actually even feel sick. We’re sat there, talking about work, fame, love, boys and calling a girl we dislike ‘FAT’ because she’s desperate and uses people to get ahead in life. Not sure how we came to the conclusion that she was now a fatty because of it….but who cares it was overly dramatic and simply HILARIOUs!! (Hahaha…we went to town on it!!) Then my sausage flew through the air, only to land on me. I had ketchup smeared all over my inner thigh. (Delicious! It was like period.) Then my plate, flung itself halfway across the patio. I tried to nibble once more, only to have a gust of my napkins launch themselves around me. Infact i ‘littered,’ (as in completely trashed the place by accident) in approx. 2.3 seconds. I got so fucked off at my sausage that i left it to die on the table..all alone, whilst Sammie (who was dressed in Red & Green & shorts) flicked pink rubber bands at moving objects that could fly….repeatedly to see if it would hurt.
Lunch was a blast. We get on well coz we’re both follow the simple rules of ‘Aah well….Fuck it.’ (Followed by evil laughter.) There is nothing he does that i think is wrong and vice versa. I love by Gay whore face of a reality tv star. Lunch was good. I walked him back to work. Then had a weird lady touch my face inappropriately. BACK OFF you BITCH!!!
I’m currently trying to raise my profile and have all sorts of cunning plans on the horizon. Infact everyone who was on a reality tv show is trying to raise profile right now, with summer being over. It’s like there’s no fun left but being a bit Famous, therefore a desperate fight to stay noticed is about to begin. I’m going to take the route of not trying too hard, just living, doing the job i’m being blessed with well and writing my blog. I raise my popularity through meeting people. Normal people. Like the masses. It’s how i’ve always done it and it’s always worked for me. I’m the Queen of it. Yet a lot of my friends are a watching learning and a catching up. They really moved ahead during my down time, sneaky fuckers. Meaning i can’t take a time out EVER!! I’m mildly impressed because i do think there’s room for everyone…but ‘HEEELLL NOOOO’ to letting anyone I know over take me. I’ll trip them up and stub their toe before they try and run past me. I’ll yank their hair and squeeze their ball sack before i become 2nd McBest. (Hahahaha…I will. I will. Hold me!!) I’m spending the weekend in Yorkshire with my family (as i’m tired and i need a little refuel) and then FUCK it..I am coming back FULL Force with a Va Voom so viscious it will sting all crotches.
Last night I was on the phone to a boy I call ‘Lashes.’ He’s being a darling to Me right now and well I know him from work, as we’d always get JD and Brandy afterwards. I don’t know him too well yet, but after last night i’m quite impressed with how smart he is for a 23 year old. He knows so much about what makes people tick, human fratalities, how people are, why they are, what they will do and before THEY even know that they’re going to do it…it’s crazy. However, that is a big part of his job. He’s so clever, that i’m probably gonna have to train my brain a little to even keep up. He’s an extremely good communicator. He’ll tell you anything with the greatest of ease and gets off on finding out how people work. It’s quite sexy and he’s very sweet to me. Very cool, very calm, very collected. However his past is far too colourful for him to be that ‘goody goody.’ When people play good, they can often be quite bad, and when people play bad they are often quite good underneath it all. But I’m learning a lot from him. And believe it or not…I do like to learn. I’m always watching and learning without you even knowing. Oh and I call him ‘Lashes’ simply because he has long ones. (Haha…How creative of me!!! Lol)
I’m also currently rather impressed with my little Jonny. I am watching him grow up, in the shortest space of time and right before my very eyes!!! I’m finding it unbelievable and kind of gaining a great deal of respect for him. (Even though he broke my heart, but claims i broke his.) I’m not sure what’s happened, but he’s really coming into his own right now and his popularity is on the rise. He’s a boy that always knows what he’s doing. I’m very impressed and well i’m hardly ever that impressed with people. (lol.) I do need to stop making deals with him though. I end up having to give him something every bloody week. He’s a definite ‘watch this space.’ I need to step up my game!!! But i’m not fretting…i always do, even if it’s purely accidental.
Anyway, godda go roll down my stockings & wink at sexy strangers.