Woke up feeling like the most delicious piece of Kitty cat, this world has ever seen. Then i rolled over, sun beaming in, white sheets bustled around my body, I was thinking about a boy I used to date in LA called Ryan and then I got stabbed by my long pointy crystalized accessory, in the form of a diamante ‘hang around your neck’ lipstick, that must have leapt off my neck in the middle of the night and tried to creep away from me. I’ve noticed that things do try to creep away from me…(no they don’t, i’m lying to make you feel better,) but even if they did, there would be no point. I mean like herpes…i’m EVERYWHERE! I’m the worst person to try and avoid. You’ll walk into a bar and i’ll be propping it up, with a smile. You’ll trot into a bookstore and ‘oh look,’ who’s there chatting up the vunerable ‘Handsome’ by the

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