Woke up feeling like the most delicious piece of Kitty cat, this world has ever seen. Then i rolled over, sun beaming in, white sheets bustled around my body, I was thinking about a boy I used to date in LA called Ryan and then I got stabbed by my long pointy crystalized accessory, in the form of a diamante
‘hang around your neck’ lipstick, that must have leapt off my neck in the middle of the night and tried to creep away from me. I’ve noticed that things do try to creep away from me…(no they don’t, i’m lying to make you feel better,) but even if they did, there would be no point. I mean like herpes…i’m EVERYWHERE! I’m the worst person to try and avoid. You’ll walk into a bar and i’ll be propping it up, with a smile. You’ll trot into a bookstore and ‘oh look,’ who’s there chatting up the vunerable ‘Handsome’ by the Self Help section. You’ll find yourself in Tescos and yeah, you know the score…. slanted eyed floozey in leopard print, eyeing up the ‘Men’s Health’ mag and trying to find the bargain condoms. Bargain condoms are fun, they come with holes in and everything. It’s like buying already ripped jeans, yet they end up a great deal messier. *Tissue swipes vagina- and cringes.* I love that i slept naked with nothing but a silver, crystal encrusted lipstick hung around my neck. It did try to kill me…however, lets not hold a grudge, shit happens!
[Time taken out here to go do an interview and throw soiled panties in the tumble dryer.]
Okay, i’m back. A whole lot has happened in the tiny time that I was absent. *Breathes.* Oh my God. You never know what you’re going to walk into, once your high heeled journey begins. (I’m in pyjama bottoms and stilletos.) I went to throw a giant armful of soiled clothes…mainly panties in the tumble dryer, after washing them in the kitchen sink. (Ever so Glamourous i know! However, i can’t bare to have my delicates chucked into an angry washing machine, to be pulled apart, stained and mixed in with the the *riff raff* of others.) I treat them with tenderness and i believe that’s why they treat me well. *Beckons hottie-gives him a peek-traps him in cage-keeps him forever.*
Now call me a weirdo (you can try, but you’ll only get cut) …yet, i enjoy taking 10 minutes out of my life to watch my delicates gently *tumble* around a dryer. It’s like a sexy, ball like, window of candy coloured, joy! Polka dots, pink, lemon, candy cane, and peach deliciousness, flopping around, magically, all bundled together and loved. (I enjoy how i’m making previously cum stained panties, dehydrating in a noisey machine…sound breakfast at Barbie’s. However, honestly…there’s no other way i can describe how marverllous my tumble dryer window looks right now. If i were to hold hands with a drag queen and do endless rollie pollies on a field infront of you…you totally get my excitement. The sight of candy colours makes me feel like the worlds a safer place…and the restoring something soiled, back to it’s orginally new goodness and giving it a new lease of life…makes me happy! It’s funny how the tiny things you do on a daily, mirror your character…deeply.
Not sure what happened next, but i was stroking my kitten (Gucci) and then all of a sudden i found myself laid on my bed upstairs…(a different bed to the one i woke up in) on my Black Berry to Loverboy and crying. (Yipppeee! Hahaha…save me from myself.) For some odd reason, him not being able to see me today, upset me. It made me feel like he didn’t care, when i wanted him to. I started out on the phone alright and merry-ish, then as the phone conversation continued, i started getting angry at him. We’re both going thorugh a great deal emotionally right now, and *heaving* a work-load on top of that, that the time we have together is sort of being tugged at…and threads of our bond are being strained. (This is normal in relationships. You can’t really let it get to you. I’m going through the tough transition stage, where i travel from child to grown up…yes even at 29. Loverboy, is already quite grown, due a rather uneventful life of ‘simple,’ and well i’m learning that striking a healthy balance between love AND work, is essential. You kinda just have to discipline your mind and you can discipline your mind to do pretty much anything…be it good or bad.)
I’ve trained my mind to be positive. I’m naturally that way, yet my environment will sometimes haze it a little. Loverboy needs to learn to be more expressive, decisive and confident. I’m direct, sassy, ambitious and a ‘go getter.’ He’s airy, aloof and sensitive. But we’re both kind, happy and playful (soo many adjectives) and with that you can make anything work out deliciously! Everything is happenning to us, all at once right now, with work, love, life and ofcourse my *thing-a ling.* We’re doing okay, but i’m starting to get rather emotional. (Hormones rock.) I told him off today, for not being there for me emotionally. (I’m currently terrified, but happy. I feel like i’m going through my *thinh-a ling* alone…and because we’re always working or away.) His mind and emotions are all over the place….like i said, he’s not a boy used to taking on change, so easily. Yet the thing that’s getting to me, is the fact that I’m highly expressive, i’ll tell anyone, anything, truthfully and without fear. When he can’t do this without *pausing* or being cautious about what he’s saying, I get pissed off. He can’t argue with me effectively, because my brain works faster than his. I cried and hung up. I didn’t cry because i was unhappy. I’m not, i’ve just galloped around my living room to MC Hammer gleefully, and like I was quite possibly at Wembley. I cried as a form of release. Remember that i’m bottling something in right now, which is something i’m not used to doing. We have mildy made up since then… but kittens….If you have something to say, say it with pride and a smile, like you mean it. Be confident in your words and ways!! Celebrate what you stand for and wave the flag for all things YOU!!
Being a Wunna, means never giving up, being happy, fun, honest and more importantly doing everything with heart! It means accepting yourself for who you are, never judging others and being able to laugh when you’re sat at rock bottom, staring down your empty bottle of rum and sighing. It’s a magicial world of positive emotion…and a place where winks and wiggles are your currency! I get so frustrated when people are afraid to be themselves. It makes me want to *pull* the ‘ooh laa’ out of them and put banners on them joyously with a champagne cocktail and a *shimmie.* Don’t waste your life. Take a breath, be grateful for it! Know that no matter what, you’re gonna be okay. If you believe things are easy, they will be! Enjoy it! If you need help, i will help you. I mean i sat on facebook chat one afteroon talking to a boy who dreamed of going to America and being a superstar basketball player. For some reason he felt it was out of reach. I talked to him for a while and 2 weeks later, i got a message thanking me for my inspiration. He’s on his way to the land of ‘dreams come true.’ Booyah!
If one person’s words can change the mind of another for the better…then i WANT to be that one person, who helps everyone. More and more as i get older, i’m becoming less fame whorey and oddly wanting to be as successful as i possibly, can in order to use my success for a positive purpose! I don’t even mean to be cheesy. At 20 I would never of felt this way. I’d want success to be worshipped and fill a hot tub with half naked hotties, who would massage my ego, under a giant white sign that read ‘Hollywood.’ I did manage to check that off my *To do* list at 23…and if i’m honest it was amazing. 🙂 Now things are different. I can have that anytime I want. My boob job and ‘off the telliness’ gave me free never ending coupon of ‘goody goody,‘ to a land of half naked candy. It’s not a challenge. Actually inspiring people…even though it is completely by accident….is!
Oh Lord, i can’t believe i went on a ‘Preacher Barbie’ rant then. (Woohoo! *Wiggles-Gets off very high horse.*) Anyway during my little mid blog break, i also (alongside panty drying) did an interview for a Channel 5 show. You know those shows that show various clips of things, people, a celebrity, or a subject. Shows that tell a bitty, yet informative story and then funny people, make comments and answer personal questions on things. Well the subject of this show is ‘sex.’ I answered a string of sexual questions, (ie/ How i learnt about the birds & the bees? What i think of safe sex and virgins?) I commited to it openly and honestly…and well i was pretty darn funny. I can never be serious in interviews. I’m just not a serious or sensible Kitty. I always end up cracking up and telling a series of shameful inappropriate secrets about my life…that others think are jokes. (Hahah.) Luckily, it worked ( I had Katherine in stitches and talking about putting condoms on cucumbers! I bring the naughty out in everyone! ) It went really well and hopefully i’ll be filming shortly. (Which reminds me, i still have that big interview for Burma! I LOVE it!!! Gimme gimme! When i have to stand my ground, i get juiced up and excited!!) My interview actually perked me up and relaized how much i enjoy my work, performing and talking about things that focus around ME, ME, ME!!!! I’m made for it and alonf with love, it makes me feel alive…like I matter!
Talking about myself, (:) ) my life and in a witty manner of ‘oh deary me,’ is my current favourite thing to do. Ooh i could spread it all over my boy and call it ‘Daddy.’ (Note, that i don’t spread my own father all over my body….on week days. 🙂 ) I’m going to hell for that one.
I’ve just received a bbm picture from Gay Adam, he knows I can’t drink right now, due to being poked in places, where a Lady should never be poked in. It was a picture of two giant glasses of wine! HAHA! Ooh he’s a bitch! I love it. I will now go kill myself, dramatically and to ‘The sound of music.’ (As if, i’m far too ‘love myself-egotistical’ for that to happen ever! I’m invincible.) I’m like one of those shit birthday candles that pisses you off, because you can never blow it out. You blow, it re-lights. I mean, who the hell invented that and suggested we PAY MORE for such a mind game. It’s only loved by a crowded room of 5 year olds and… retards. You can see the parents getting frustrated and going in the back, for a bottle of gin, ‘pick me up’ behind a *fake smile* of ‘leave me alone.’ My kid, won’t be having those candles. I’ll only let it look at the cake, then set it on fire to be thrown out. Empty calories are not permitted. It will have a future of Glamour pussing…it cant do that on cake. It will learn to function on vodka. 🙂