I think i have the flu, but who cares, i’m back in Yorkshire and i have stories to tell. Ok! So because a lot of ACE-ness things happened to me, i’m going to spew them out separately in their own tiny blog, instead of one massive, ‘i’m totally zone-ing out’ mumur of ramble. makes sense to me, might not to you, but it’s MY blog…haha.
It was Friday July 4th, i was HUNG-the dilly dally-donkey- OVER, due to a late night after my Manchester reality show thing, a couple vodka pineapples, and 2 ‘got hotter as the night went along’ bartenders, a northerner, a southerner, and great witty bantering skills. I loved them. So i’m standing at Doncaster train station, its like 7.47am, having gone to bed at 1.30am, and having to wake at 5am..i had just swindled a cheaper ticket out of the ‘ticket guy’ who thought i was HOTNESS, i’m standing around, looking like a McSlutty…(especially for that hour) with a giant bag of knickers and i hear a whisper/ shout, saying, ‘LOOK AT THE CHEST ON THAT!!!’ (the Donny boys have no tact…thats why i love them.)
There was a ginormous sized gaggled of drunken boys from Doncaster, on their way to more drunkness in Brighton, at 8am…still drinking suitcases of Stella, and that was it basically from that point on, they had appointed themseleves my new best friends…so everywhere i went from the next 2 hours, they went too…it was hilarious!! They danced, they sung, they laughed, they hit on me, they openly admired the ‘CHEST,’ impersonated the ‘Chest,’ and then out out of nowhere, one of them produces a picture of me that he had on his phone, from some online thing…notices i’m right infront of his face, (whilst his friend is telling me ‘with each sip of lager, i’m getting better,’) and there’s a slience!! I had refused the many beers they passed me, and said, ‘AS IF I’M GONNA BLOODY DRINK BEER, AT 8.15 AM, WITH A BUNCH OF McDRUNKIES…I SHOULD BE STANDING OVER THERE WITH THE ” I HAVE A JOB TO GET TOO” TRAIN!!’ It was hilarious!! I get asked, ‘Is that you???’ I look at the picture that being rammed into my face! I slowly agree ( a little bit scared…)…..The slience lifted, we’re now on the platform…(remember i have my Playboy test shoot to get too), and just like that…they POUNCE!! All of a sudden theres screaming, cheering and a party on Platform one!! There was booze, onlookers, people staring, even the guards joined in and i’m having to stand there and have my picture taken with each and every one of them, one by one, as they pretend to clutch my Breasts, and make me hold beer!! I was MICHAEL JACKSON!! I signed stuff, i let them take their own pics too…there ended up being about 34 of them, and my train was arriving in 2.3 mins!! I was ambushed!! hahahaha Finally one of them suggests i miss my test shoot, and come to brighton with them, for £1300. I say ‘i don’t want to get paid with £1300 worth of beer, i like cold hard cash.’ My train arrives, they all try to tumble onto the same train…the train guard lifts me to safety, an di’m on my merry way to the Capital, bag og knickers in my hand, ready to get my ‘Playboy’ on…. (that was only the first 3 hours of my morning….)