When i woke up this morning, i was having the best day of my bloody life. Infact, i woke up to the sound of my daddy (Biological not Sugar) crooning old Beatles songs. Really brought a smile to my grubby little face and fooled me into believeing that the rest of the day was going to continue in such a joyous manner. It did for a good long while. I mean i literally danced around every environment i entered, to every Pussycat doll song known to mankind, in too tight panties! It was like a constant wedgie and quite sickly aroused me. Lol
It seems i have too much work to do right now and i’m trying my very hardest to avoid it at all costs (as it’s all managed to heap itself ontop of me, with one giant ‘thud’ of a booyah!) Ugh! I can’t take it and mainly because it’s all in the form of ‘Admin.’ I despise paperwork and forms and all that mindless drivel. It sucks the soul out of me and if any sucking is to take place on The Wunna, it certainly has nothing to do with my soul goddamit! (She purrs.) I’m under the misconception that simply pointing and laughing at my heaped up pile of bullshit work, will actually make it go away! It’s not moving. It’s not playing and it’s certainly starting to get on my tits!
My whole day has been FABULOUS! I’ve felt wonderful, magical, powerful, had the most fun ever and all day!!! Then as soon as it hit 5.05pm…everyone from that merry moment onward has decided to saunter into my life and be a big old bastard to me. Everyone! Lol. I’m on my period right now, so i’m taking bastardly behaviour very seriously. It’s making me weep on the inside for a good solid 4 seconds. I don’t know what happened? 5.05pm is what happened!! It’s a shit time of the day! It’s Bastard o clock. It makes people slam doors in my faces, for no reason other than their own grumpiness. You bitches of whores!! I tells ya! Youz is the Devil. (I’ll f****** jam a muppet up your tiddler.)
I’ve decided to not let it bother me too much and to continue being quite Wonderful anyway. It’s important to stick to ya strong points in times like these. Y’know not let people piss on your parade. I think i can turn this ‘hoo-harr’ around and if not, i can just strutt on off to the liquor store and find my answers in the bottom of a vodka bottle. Yeah baby! She sizzles! Infact, now i’ve wingey minged about it. I feel surprisingly better. Writing a blog is cleansing. You should try it. It’s a good way of letting your sins leave your body, so you are no longer responsible for them and have room for much more. W00-hoo! Really if your doing something wrong in your life, whether it be a dodgey ‘ooh-ahh,’ feeling an odd emotion, feeling up anothers wife, craving a bizarre desire…write a secret diary..not really to document what you’re doing, (you can rip it up once you’ve written it out.) It’s more to help cleanse the soul and it fucking works!!
As of right now, i have people telling me they have ghosts in their houses, others (who i don’t really know) asking me to write a very large blog about them and other people taking advantage of my previous ‘everyones a tit after 5.05pm’ announcement, by being… a big old tit! (And not the good kind!) Hahaha! I’m happy now, so there’s no battering the Wunna without a viscious tongue lashing. (That sounds a bit odd really?) Oh and (i dont mean this rudely or anything…which is code for i totally do) if i don’t actually know you in person, the likelihood of me just writing a blog about you is very very slim. I mean, unless you have affected my life in some randomly humourous way, moved me, loved me, or angered me. (Try not to anger me you fucking twats!) I’ll send my band of Merry Midgets to hip/hop ‘horn’ you to death and then eat dolly mixtures off your taco smelling ‘privates.’
I think i need a cuppa tea? Or just someone to spoon me. I need MAN! Love you bitches