I Forgot it was Thursday

So i flipping forgot it’s Thursday!!! (It’s telly day!) Yet luckily whilst shopping you all reminded me. This bunch of shakey girls, were having their picture taken with me (which was slightly uncomfortable, because i have no voice, therefore i was merely just an overly tanned, eyelashed fleshy animation, of the worst cartoon ever,) and anyway, they were going on about how they were so excited to watch the show tonight. In my head, (not the most smartest places to be,) i was like…’erm..it’s not even on tonight. I can’t believe those they don’t even know when it’s on?? It’s all LIES!!!’  When really i’m the idiot after all..as i failed to remember it was actually Thursday! I can only remember when i’m on drugs. So to make myself feel better (i hate getting things wrong) i text the word ‘Pervert,’ to Flic..to help me get through the day. Nothing like a bit of abuse to make you feel a whole lot better. Her response was ‘Lesbian.’ (In your dreams Miss.Field-Hall. LOL) Then Samuel reminded me that i was ‘Great,’ so i just went with it and winked at perverts.

Lots has happened. I’ve been as busy being a nuisance all day pretty much today. Haven’t stopped. A couple of interviews, a lot of meeting and a greetings. Yet what i realised is that once you have fans..you can actually make them do anything you want…for kicks! So me being the nicest person in the world and everything…ofcourse didn’t take advantage of this new found power…and just made them lines of ‘Sweet n Low.’  (It was their idea..before you all start mouthing off.) I recieved a stern telling off for this infantile behaviour. However, not because of what i was encouraging good decent innocent folk to do and more because i was using too many free packets of ‘Sweet n low’ that Starbucks had on offer (they’re fucking FREE, I can do whatever i want with them…they’re like boys at  1.50am)…and then shouted ‘Do you know who i am!!!!!!’ (This was at the manager! HAHAHAH.) Luckily he thought my tantrum was adorable. (My Mother taught me well. We’ve come a long way Babs!!) He later did a ‘Sweet n Low’ line…then i scolded him for wasting good substance.

Other than that (i’m in a bit of a rush, because i have champagne a waiting me) a hot man in a Range Rover got all giddy mid traffic light stop, and demanded I smooch him. I  politely obliged. He was a cop. (Oooooh!) Saw an ‘I love Chrissie Wunna’ shirt (not one of mine…which you should all be buying, you cheap bastards,) in a Printers shop. Anyway, i wrongly figured that since that was ME…i was entitled to have one of these excuses of a shirt for free. This beast of a bellylike Ogre said ‘NO.’ So I picked it up and walked out with it anyway. He came racing after me, like i had just stolen his first born child. (HAHAHA.) Then after promising to call him (Hmm…?) He gave it to me for free. (She purrs.)

The song of the day for me was ‘Mustang Sally.’ Everywhere i went, it was playing. I always associate that song with beefy shirtless male strippers…that of which i ADORE!! So i’m hoping it’s a sign that God is going to place me in such an awkward position, (or many awkward positions…wink wink) where in which i will have such beings writhing all over me..for no other reason but ‘good times.’ Noah got some dodgey Ark. Fuck that! Bring Wunna the dancing boys! I promise to take two of every kind!! (HAHAHAH) God, I’m a fat dirty pig of a slut!! (Sorry to use ‘God’ and ‘Slut’ in the same sentence. I had a Quaker schooling.)

Anyway godda go, drink champers and dance to Missy Elliot.

I love you My Sexy Drips of Oooh Laa.

Chrissie Wunna

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