There’s some stinky bastards in HMV Meadowhall. I spent the whole day shopping, feeling perky, amazing and full of ‘va voomage’ (well for a girl that’s bleeding from her ‘wotsit’) only to go into HMV at the very last minute to buy an Amy Winehouse CD and smelt the worst smelling people i have ever had to smell. Get washed boys!! It’s awful!! I hate the potent smell of B.O…it makes me gip. It clashes with my mojo…and i start to get all confused. B.O to music. Worst combination ever. I’d rather get hit in the face by sexually deprived midgets.
Anyhow, it seems all these ‘lovelies’ (the boys) were giving me the ‘eye up,’ today. (The heat must have got to them.) Y’know how sometimes guys will try and get in your eyeline so you accidentally, on purpose ‘just so happen’ to see them. (Yawn.) Well that was happenning a rather lot, but after i deliberately ignored them ( i dont like boys who play games. I like men to be forward and prefer it if they don’t attempt to play with my vision,) they decided to rally on up, and stand near me. THE STINKIEST BASTARDS I HAVE EVER SMELT!!’ They could turn milk sour! Awful! And i was all paranoid incase everyone thought it was me. Therefore i kept moving along …ending up at sad love songs, yet they kept a following.
I finally started pissing myself (laughing not weeing,) farted, blamed it on them and strutted off. Girls don’t like smelly boys very much lovers. It needs to stop.
Got stared at, had Nandos, then had ‘Yo sushi.’ Recieved the most beautiful text messages i had ever read from Boyband Jonny. Got a ‘fan phone’ phone call from two delicious gays who had to get WASTED to ring me, whilst they worked in a mens underwear store. (Best job everness!!) Then my feet hurt and i went home.
Great day on the whole and i still have a dinner to go to this evening. But i am slightly upset because 5 times today i’ve been wrongly psycho analysed by miserable people, who think they know me, but they dont. All i’m gonna say is, just because you’re miserbale, it doesn’t mean i am. Cheer up. make something amazing happen. Get drunk, make daisy chains. Do whatever you so goddam wish, but don’t take it out on me!! I’m so happy right now, due to a string of amazing events. I’m a good girl…just let me be.