How to get in my pants!

Good Afternoon My Delicious Winks of an Eye! I haven’t eaten yet, so i apologize if i turn a little  ‘haven’t got laid, battle-axe’ a few lines in. Yet on the whole i’m HAPPY. I feeeEEEeeling goood! Not sure why, but Miss.Wunna has her ‘Mojo’ WORKING!! Oh my God. I am like Boy Magnet right now. I’m a Glamour puss working IT out! (She purrs!) And it seems the boys a likey! Apart from one that has committed to calling me a ‘Frigid Lesbian’ and will only let me go watch the Football in Rome with him, if i ‘put out.’ I think the exact quote was (and it has just come in via MSN) ‘i’m only letting you come to Rome if you suck ma plums!’ Hahaha! (She swigs her cocktail, and lifts up her ‘PASS’ card!) Hahaha! I love it! Boys will be boys! To be honest i’ve even tried that one before, on mere innocent fellows….it works. Not that i have plums you can suck???

Other than that, i’ve had a baby sized shoot today, I’ve wrote a little bit more of the ‘book’ and i’m so fucking sick of NO-one wanting to go out at the weekend!!! WHAT IS UP!!! Everyone knows i love a ‘good time.’ It runs through my veins like Grey Goose. I’m a happy-go lucky, cheeky cheerleader, with an evil side so sexy it would make ya ‘privates’ swell and commit to a glittery explosion. Everyone’s either poor right now, or just lying to me because they want to spend time with their ‘other half.’ (SNOOZE!) I’ve had this conversation with another fella, who i refer to as ‘Robin Hood,’ who’s just gonna go out on his own anyway and pretend he lost his friends, or say that they got thrown out in a bar fight. We’ve all done it….and it looks like i’m gonna have to pull some sort of the same kind of ‘Tom Foolery.’ I think i wanna go on a date?? I’m getting quite a lot of offers…yet i think they are just getting ‘The Wunna’ all wrong.

The best way to ‘woo’ me so to speak is to BE FUNNY. Laugh your way into my pants. I love a funny guy. Someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously, is always happy…but not sickenning. Someone who likes being a tit for the sake of random moments of comedy, teases me, treats me like a Princess, yet also a Best friend and well just basically makes me laugh. I love a joker, mainly because i am one. And it doesn’t matter whether you are the Russell Brand wordy funny, Benny Hill ‘ooh laa’ Funny, Johnny Knoxville ‘running into signs’ funny, just bitter funny or mock me funny. I will like you a lot more, than i like most. People always mistake me for some evil stuck up bitch…and i’m not. (On Fridays.)  I’m a good time gal. Don’t get it twisted! (And i am refering to your penis. Ouchy!)

Last night at about midnight (i know how Cinderella of me) i got prank called. She got a Prince fucking Charming running after her…i got a Footballer (Come on MAN U) prank calling me ‘Unknown’  to tell me he ‘just got off a banana boat, and wanted to sell me bananas and brown sugar?? I think there was something about Africa and phoning a friend in there too. OMG! You should of heard me, it was HILARIOUS, because i didn’t know who it was AT ALL. I must have sounded like a tit!! Hahahah! He had truely committed to the prank, and did it rather well…so i was just LAUGHING my little tight ARSE off. I couldn’t stop. I felt dumb because i couldn’t figure out who it was. Oh my gosh it was brilliant. I was literally pissing myself. And to be honest i didn’t really know that this guy was actually that funny. He’s fucking HILARIOUS. I thought he’d be more ‘up’ himself. Now i think he’s joined the ladder of Greatness…and simply because of a little prank call. I LOVE it! And it’s not even the ‘prank’ itself that i find so funny. It’s that delicious moment when he was sat at home and thought ‘D’ya know what? I think i’ll call Chrissie and try and sell her bananas, from my banana boat.’ It keeps this floozey happy.

HAHAHAHAHA! Life is good! Most GOOGLED ‘CHRISSIE’ IN THE WORLD!!!

Chrissie Wunna

92 thoughts on “How to get in my pants!”

  1. i will take u out on a date chrissie and i will make u laugh even if it means walking in to things babe. i hope u get one of your pals to take u out this weekend babe

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  2. I don’t like to brag chrissie I just like to surprise em ha ha ha I will say is it is in preportion babe

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  3. fucking hell u dont apprecite this u dont like that u are murders dont u like people trying to be a gentelman and anyone can lie on there tilb size on here

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  4. My name ain’t it itchy and a scratchy mush don’t start with me shun and we will be cushtie. Yes that ain’t a bad line coz I know u love the pink stuff not pantene treacle

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  5. Ahuh – ok… right…yep…done…totally forgot to care…

    Seriously, where did you learn to spell? I’m confused… You’re trying to “woo” a woman twice your age with gifts such as shampoo – and seductive words that the English language doesn’t seem to recognise..

    May I recommend Oxford English Dictionary as a “must-read” for this Summer?

    xxmwahxx

    Reply
  6. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll live long enough to “do you good and proper” – you’re teeny-bopper fans here are going to hunt me down with their Busted Albums and stab me up with the sharp edges!!

    GAH!!!

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  7. I ain’t a young teeny bopper mate I do t know what your problem is shun u are piping to me and calling me a chavvie so I think it is u who needs to grow up shun I’m sorry if I am getting angry chrissie I just don’t like little mugs getting lemon babe

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  8. do u well done mate sorry i aint interested but i dont want ot row on the pcim sorry if ioffend u by not speaking proper i am just being me shun

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  9. I don’t want to argue with you either… I’m attention seeking – fuck Chrissie off – try a bit of the dark side 😉
    It’s ok if you don’t like gays – I’m not overly fond myself, it can all be a secret =P xxxx

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  10. well u told me not to row with people before chrissie u told me to be more open minded im trying know u want me to ruck with geezers make your mind up babe and if i get in to rowing with people i will go to far and u will tell me to lighten up again

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  11. No I don’t shun I think u are witty u just fought me when iwas aggrd out earlier I just watched a repeat of the hatton fight again so I felt lome I did when I left the fight

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  12. Coz I am trying to act me age chrissie u can’t row on the Internet at 27 yes ricky is the man I went to see the fight and me pal she works out there I am gonna kip I am checking on me iPhone while I am trying to kip

    Reply
  13. hahahaa post number 75!! Yayness!!

    Right, i’m off now!! Chrissie – I shall speak to you in the morn before I fly out ok!!

    Love and hugs and hope your bed is full of bugs!! xxxxxxx

    Reply
  14. Okay, so i’m really going to go to bed now. If i wake and you have destroyed my site….(you attention seeking floozey)…well…nothing will happen, because you would have flown to Vegas by then. Be warned!!

    Reply

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