Okay, so even though i have the shimmie of shingles, my life is actually ACE! I’m weirdly really happy. I mean, i am normally quite a chipper little bubble of squeak. Feisty…yes. But still rather open hearted, chipper and positive even when sober. However, you’d think the shingles would get this little kitten down. Aaah HEEELLLL NO, you hear me cry. I don’t think i’ve been much happier and it’s pretty much all down to love, feeling love, loving, having love and being the Queen of lurve. *Wiggle-Wink.* (It could also be the rather strong pills i have to take in order to relieve my blistery, ouchy pain. 🙂 )
Last night, Keiran laid in the back of a new white van, with the back doors open, a freshly made bed in place and filled with cuddles, snuggles and love, watched the stars hover over us and the universe bless us with jolly old peace. We’re quite misjudged individuals, because people don’t realize how wonderful we are to each other and the masses really. However, it’s those moments alone, when there’s no-one watching and there’s just us….under the stars, talking about the world, the people in it and our place upon it. Then after a whole lot of love and i’ll miss you’s (he left today to work away 🙁 )…i then decided it was fricking cold…even in my grey faux fur and demanded me go inside to continue with the rest of our fairytale. 🙂
Poor Keiran, as handsome as he is has to live in the back of a van for the next 3 months. On and off. I mean he goes for a week, then returns for a day or two, then trundles off once more for another long work stretch. Hence why we had to make a late night trip to Asda, for him to purchase quilty delights for his little van, to make it feel more like a home. I’m a luxury girl and the fact that my bit of arm candy has to suffer such consequences devastates me. But i have shingles and a baby Ruby that i need to tend to. (I’m still on my visiting rights due to me being contagious.) Plus a book tour and a wedding to organise, meaning that i can’t really go with. I already miss him and it’s weird because i’m not a ‘misser.’ I’m more of a ‘Houdini act’ puller…who gets missed. He’s only been gone an hour and already we’re ‘i love you’ texting. He just sent me one saying ‘I love you with all my heart babe and can’t wait to see you Monday.’ We’re MADLY in love right now and it’s a dream. He looked at me last night like he loved me with every tiny inch of his heart and i like that because these days it’s rare to find a man, a delicious one, who is a true romantic at heart, who just want to be loved and give love in return. I did good! 🙂 Our love is really stable now, after a topsy turvy middle part. It’s like being sat at that table, that wobbles. Once you’ve shoved that wedge in it..nothing can make it move. He’s an amazing man and i’m an amazing girl. We have an amazing tiny Ruby, which makes us an amazing family. Rubes is ace, because she now speaks nonsense sentences, with a Tinkerbell toy in her hand and a Peppa Pig buggy by her side. For some reason she always looks busy. I don’t know whether she gets that from watching us, ‘do life’ in Wunna Land…or if for a 1 year old, in bows..life is actually that hectic? lol. Adorable little girl. I mean, i knew that i’d breed something amazing. But a tiny me in headbands, that slaps me…what a VICTORY! 🙂
Anyway, my job during my hubby-to-be’s absence is to plan the wedding. 🙂 I laugh because, well everyone knows i’m shit at planning anything. Keiran loves PLANNING and he kinda lovingly warned me, before he got into his van to depart that it was important that our wedding was planned well and reached an amazing standard. Uh-oh!
Now, i adore a wedding. We know that. I’ve had a few and enjoyed them. Lol. Yet this time it’s different because i’m really into getting married to Keiran. He’s my actual true love and well i know that i am his ideal girl (there’s no other stilettos that can fill my spot, no matter how hard they tried)..and likewise there is not another man on this earth that would be, or even COULD be my ‘forever.’ The connection is too strong. Even if we try to flitter off for a while, or i throw him out, or he wanders off into ‘party boy’ mode. We always find ourselves looking at each other with a smile, a hug and a marry me. We love each other for who we really are and not who others, or even WE portray ourselves as. (He’s just spelt his actual name wrong on a text to me and called me to ask for the number he accidentally wrote down, upon my daughters first EVER picture. Lmao. Rubes has done this little crayon drawing and in the top right hand corner on a slant, in balck biro, it reads: ‘PAUL’ and then a mobile number. Welcome to Wunna Land. Ooh i can’t wait to see Ruby tonight. I hate ‘i have shingles’ visiting hours. I was telling my darling friend Kelly, (who’s left me to got to Centre Parcs with Keiran’s new bromance ‘Phil’) that it’s like ‘Prisoner Cell Block H’ …but in a faux fur and without the angry crime.
But yeah, i’ve got a wedding to plan and a book to launch and an illness to get rid of. I’m currently sat on my living room floor, under a cheap chandelier, amongst a pile of wedding mags, an ipad, a laptop, more wedding mags, a list and a happy face. I’m actually REALLY excited!! I can’t wait to plan it. I’m writing down all these bits and bobs i need to order and looking through colours, flower images and god knows what. I’m really truely loving it. But terrified because i cannot fuck this UP. I will NEVER get married again…so this has got to be tremendous!! AND Keiran (who is mildy Bridezilla) will KILL ME.
I have a lot of help. I mean i’m hiring a wedding planner. I have Kelly. My Mother (really organized people) and everyone in the world rooting for me, so hopefully i’ll be able to get this ball a rolling. Oulton Hall… here comes Wunna. 😉 The problem with putting really organized people around me is that i’m accidentally really distracting. After about 10 mins…everyone will be drunk and forgetting to organize. Keiran will go APE.
I enjoy how everyones desserted me for a week. Kelly’s run off an holiday. Keiran’s away working. Ruby is at Grandma’s…and i’m here tumble drying, on my own…with fricking shingles. #fit