Helllooooo May & Glamour Pussing



God!!! My kitten eyes were open at 4.36am this morning. You know when you feel wide awake and the sun seems to be sort of beaming from behind your bedroom curtains. It’s not fully morning yet, however it’s certainly not night and you reach for your phone to have a little *wink-wink* peeky at the time…and instead of it saying 6.30am (I thought it would be early,) it read, 4.36am! WOWSERS!

Rubes was still fast asleep, so I figured I’d chill a little more, try to go back to sleep, yet the first day of May must have got the better of me because I just couldn’t get my glamour pussy eyes to re-shut. Therefore I made the executive decision to take that time for Moi and dollop it in a moment of ME, ME, ME! Bliss!

I did my face, I stretched, I ran my fingers through my hair, as the sun beamed through the bedroom windows. I mean, Keiran wasn’t even up yetand I had no idea that he  didn’t have his regular  6,30am wake up this morning, as usual. He has a golf day today, I think? Lord knows? He could be robbing banks for all I’m aware of? Or selling his body to grannies for sex? I think it’s bizarre that I don’t actually know what he’s up to or doing anymore. It’s all under ‘work.’ Then our independent natures take over and we get on with our own thang.

Right now, I’m concentrating on birthing my sonny jim  and making sure Baby Ruby feels aptly adored. I’ve also just figured that although getting up early for ME TIME was divine, i will certainly suffer for it muchly- mucho for it later, when I can’t see for tiredness. Yipppeee! Good job i’m not in heels. I only have a hair appointment later.

On a positive note…I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S MAY! Can you??? Time has flown, but boy do I love May, it puts the shimmie in my step and the wink in my wiggle. It’s also the month that I will be joyously going into labour…yet that glorious moment aside,, i’ve always adored the month of May, because it begins a season where people tend to cheer up a little bit more and look a hell of a lot sexier. Both girls and boys dress hotter in the Summer. It’s bizarre, but true. I definitely enjoy  it. I actually don’t look too bad for being a giant preggo, who woke up at 4.36am this morning. I’ve proved that you maybe can’t polish a turd, but you can CERTAINLY roll it in glitter. BOOYAH BABY! I am the goddess of grooming and yeah, i feel great! I have my Summer face on! A bit too much tan…but that’s how I like it. Gimme! Gimme! Purrr! (Oh and for those of you who are single…don’t fret because May is a good month to pull. It always has been. It’s the season where flings come together with beachy cocktails, so enjoy it with an umbrella drink, booty shorts, bikini top and heels. Big hair, soft lips and a wink. I saw a piccie of my good friend Amber last night. She has a whole new  *Shabam* going on and I love it. She’s sort of given herself a makeover and gone from ‘normal girl,’ to Glamour Puss! Keiran and I adore Amber because she’s so sweet and good of heart. Much different to me. 🙂 I’m dipped in a whole Hollywood strut of vixen, with a smile, beckon and pout. I’m a feisty one, with a giggle. Amber…is just sweet. Yet..now looks like a Glamour Puss. So 10 points. I love it. It’s amazing how hair extensions, a dress, heels, a new hair colour and a smile can completely transform you. She’s a dolly now. It’s tremendous. New glamour pusses need to be careful, as it comes with a persona and she’s of a highly sweet nature…Like I said, I’m more:

and well…she’s more:



Anyway, the funniest thing happened yesterday evening, as I was monging on my sofa, in my ripped pj bottoms nursing my bump. @Hannahtapdances (who is @Wazza ‘s delightful ‘other half) sent me a Tweet telling me that her phone had gone bananas and my profile pic was popping up as..

Lord knows, what happened, but i’m delighted because it put me in a much better mood. Last night I was in an ‘I can’t be bothered to do this last 4 weeks of pregnancy’ mood and although Keiran was being lovely to me and offering me food, massages and all sorts…the dodgy ‘ChrissieWunna’ pic perked me up…like it was a ginned up lemonade on a sunny day.

I’ve got to try and gobble up MORE food today. I’ve apparently got anaemia, which is rubbish when giving birth because you need all the energy you can get and if I lose a lot of blood, I will be zapped of ‘ooh laa’ from the ‘push-push.’ Wonderful! It happened last time. So, even though I thought i’d been eating loads…I hadn’t been eating enough, nor had I been taking in enough calories. I think it’s because i’m side snacking MORE than I am heavy mealing. Not on purpose..but i’m just not a giant ‘stuff my facer.’ I prefer to graze in general. Yet the anxiety and secret stress of the labour is subconsciously terrifying me and therefore causing me to not have an appetite. The midwife states that the baby is fine…however, it is I who will be suffering after the old ‘ouchy.’ So today is about eating as much as possible AND making sure I take in Vitamin C, alongside a bundle of iron rich foods. UGH! I’m have an iron deficiency. But I never did like ironing. 🙂

I’m feeling on top of the world today, after feeling like a superstar once more yesterday. 🙂 It really got my ego juiced, which put my swagger back in place. I needed it because now I know what I want again and I feel powerful, like I can make every single one of my dream come true. I’ve done it all my life, so why not give birth and get back to it. (All this at the same time as being a money making machine.) I’m still confused about JLS breaking up? I mean, why wait until you’re a super successful, really rich popstar and then think ‘Nah..I can’t be arsed to see this through.’ Lol. They need to remember the time when they were first auditioning for the X-factor and wanted to make it so badly. People always seem to give things up when they’re doing well. It’s odd to me. Now i’m older, i’d never make a decision like that,. You can have anything at anytime provided you have the drive and talent…oh a good heart helps your bonus points with God. It gets you there quicker. I want mine and will get it. i’m done with my ‘having baby’ break’s because at the end of the day my kids will thank me for it later.

Keiran asked me a weird question last night, when we were laid on the sofa, he asked me where I saw myself in 5 years? I’m not at a job interview. I just see myself as rich, famous, successful and happy. That is all. He said my answer was ‘too blunt’ and refused to answer it back when I turned it around on him. Lol. Odd boy. He’s been loving this morning and telling how beautiful I am. Which I like. Maybe he knows that I found that bunny cock ring and bullet, that doesn’t belong to me, that he used on some other chicola previously and doesn’t know how i’m actually feeling about it, yet daren’t bring it up in case I’m evil to him and fly off the glitzy handle 🙂 He did ask me what I got up to yesterday…I replied with a ‘nothing,’ even though I had had the busiest day ever, doing everything and then some, in between  including loads of fun AND people. Well..not ‘doing’ people. Pahaha. But meeting people and Wunna fans everywhere. I loved yesterday, it put me on top the world. I couldn’t be filled with any more positive energy. Amazing day. The people made me forget about the cock ring incident. I don’t want to see that shit and he needs to be more careful about where he places his belongings.(Pina Colada willy. Lmfao. #gross)

My libido has certainly gone up. I’m weirdly feeling sexy and like I could do with a whole lot of loving,. I’m sort of dealing with it, in my own special way 😉 behind closed curtains, as it’s terrifying when you’re pregnant, as liek I said to a bunch of lovely lady friends, when thy have a little ‘private playtime’ they only end up with an orgasm. I’ll end up with an orgasm, with a baby attached to the end of it. Scary! But i’m enjoying feeling aroused’ and sexy-sexy-yeah baby-ooh-laa.’ It’s fun. I feel feminine again. So no doubt i’ll be up to no good a bit later. #excited

The nursery run went swimmingly today. Rubes and I set off early because we were both up at some god forsaken hour that setting off at 7.45 am for us, didn’t seem to premature. She was filled with utter glee this morning, which made a change from when she first woke up. Grumbly she was and certainly not ready for a wake up. I told her to go back to bed and well she turned around and told ME to go back to bed. I love that I have fully grown up conversations with Rubes. Her speech has come on so much. But yeah…after an episode of ‘Cloud Babies’ and a bowl of Cheerios, we set off in the sun, as she adorned her blue and white Summer dress.She sang all the way in the car merrily. Then weirdly bean chanting the words, ‘Trophy WIFE…Trophy WIFE….’ I have no idea where she’s got that from? But we both just giggled as I drove through the Badsworth roads, with a boogie.

Anyhow, i’ll lvoe you an leave you with your knickers in a twist. Keep your wink alive and your glitter heels sexy.

I adore you. Thank you so much for reading my blog.

Oh and just for a bit of ‘It’s May’ silliness…a little drunk (and I was drunk) dancey poo’s. There is nothing worse than being drunk, in heels and feathers, tripping up and having a stage the size of the tiny box.








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