HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

Well i’ve made it. I turned 30 today and i made sure that i did in purple lycra, a mini-mini dress, golden heels, fur and ‘off the shoulder’ sequins!!!! Woohoo! Don’t hate!!!! I’ve been pretending that turning 30 is actually horrid. Yet if i’m honest, it totally feels greatness! I will admit that the only rubbish thing about it is, that i sort of opened my eyes this morning, looked to my left, saw my half naked ‘handsome’ and after reading an ‘i love you’ text from my Mum, thought ‘holy shit’ i’m actually not 18 anymore! It’s the first time ever, that i’ve actually realized that i’m no longer a teenager. I actually FEEL different! I’m a real life.. grown up! (It made me go mildy queezy.) Then i found it funny, that i turned 30, whilst being sober, fat and in purple lycra- mini dressed- sequins..with a real life baby in my belly! LMAO! The first thing i did, ( and it’s what any decent person would do on their birthday) and that was check to make sure i was being appropriately adored for being a year older on both Facebook and Twitter. 🙂 Then Loverboy cuddled me, kissed me, told me a sad story about how evil his ex girlfriend treated him. (Which MADE ME CRY! lol) Followed by a happy story about how wonderful i am. Gave me my prezzie, with a bit of breakfast in bed and then made sure i realized his ‘willy’ was rubbing up against my thigh and ready for action. As soon as my first bit of nookie, being a 30 year old… was enjoyed. (I am so ACE at being a cougar.) We realized we were actually late for Birthday

2 thoughts on “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!!!!!!!!”

  1. this post made me feel so happy for you! i’m glad your life is going so well, and fucking hell chrissie what a life you’ve lived!! i’m so jealous – i’d be happy to be half as exciting as you 🙂 x

    Reply

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