Ham in my hand?

Managed to wear a fushia clevage office shirt and spy on men in blue speedos in a changing room, by a disabled toilet door today, meaning life must be pretty decent after all. I’ve been a tired little kitty cat, due to night time feeds, whilst tending to Motherhood and everything else on top of the clocks changing. (I needed that extra hour.) But i’ve never been happier. I really do feel all juicy and excited. All bronzed, bedroomed and with a ‘glint’ of ‘ooh laa’ in my eyes. I’m working harder than ever. My day job. My love life. My book. I guess, i just feel lucky and i’m finally managing to focus on the positive and shimmie on forward with a wink. (I’m on fire!)

I currently have  glass of wine. My Lit. Agent gave me that little bit of ‘Well done’ that i needed. Lol. I’m still looking for a new house. (I’m all for it being extremely flashy. I’m not at all humble. I of the tragic breed, who enjoy to flaunt it and coz they can. Why not?) I’ve just smooched my ‘handsome’ in the middle of the kitchen and Baby baby Ruby who i’ve missed ALL DAY…is currently dressed as a baby pink bear and sleeping.

I actually still have a lot of work to do, as i’m really going to get my book finished by the end of the week. But like really. No bullshit. *Has a bit of wine.* Life is purrfect. I’m working what I got. I’m feeling confident, fun loving, yet dashed with a wee bit of sense and i’m ready to take over the world. I’m feeling really great about my book right now and i’ve noticed that I only feel shit about it when i’m tired. (Whenever my daughter is in the arms of anyone, instead of being all polite and calm, she goes on an insame mad hunt for their nipple. I mean, she even angrily pants mid-search. Pete’s making gourmet meals for himself. I’m on a diet.)

I’m currently crazily in love with Petey and I feel that right back from him. We’ve just got this loving relationship thing down now and it’s not only romantic, but it’s delicious. We have our barney’s. But whatever. It’s nothing that wine can’t solve and a bit of clevage. I’m watching him cook and everything he does seems to be adorable. I weirdly feel like i’m his mother. (Don’t ask! lol) Yeah I know it’s creepy. But I always just want to care for him and protect him like I do Ruby. Pete’s a great deal more innocent than i am. I’ve adventured this world and if i can protect anyone from the horror and the hurt of it all…i will. (And maybe feel them up a little. 🙂 ) Pete’s always ever so loving with me, yet he’s taking it to new heights of devotion? He obviously must be broke. The broker they are the nicer they become. 🙂 When their bank balance is running a little low they’ll either be evil to you, due to them feeling highly inadequate. OR they’ll be extra loving (like I would) and because you have the deniro. If you’re a girl of the glamour puss variety. It’s important that you have your own moola and if possible MORE than your male counterpart. 😉

Anyway, I’ve been at work all day today and actually loved it. Working when the sun is out is always better. I spent the day next to a lovely named Karan. We laughed all day whilst drinking tea out of leopard print mugs. I told her my tragic tales of glory and well after deciding that i’m quite the ‘flooze’ and a stalker..she turned to me and said, ‘You know what I like about you Chrissie? It’s the fact that you always see the good in people.‘ (Aww…i love those moments and it’s true I do and only because I understand life and human ways. I’ve made mistakes. I’m no good at sympathy. But I can soooo do empathy! Even though it doesn’t go with my vixen hair toss. I had two girls hunt through my weave today, whilst i was chewing gum. I can’t believe how bad a stalker I used to be! Luckily now i don’t have to be. Once you’ve been on the telly weirdly everyone wants a piece. You end up having to beat them with sticks. Being on the telly box is best way to make everyone fancy you. They accept you even when you’re a twat!)

Okay the wine is going straight to my head now. I need food before i attempt to be an author. I can’t WAIT to see my book on shelves. Why do I have ham in my hand? (I loved the days when all i had in my fridge was half drunken champagne, ham and a face pack.)

1 thought on “Ham in my hand?”

  1. Hi glad to hear things going pretty good and you still having fun. Glad to hear your book is coming along. Can’t wait to read it. Ah heck you know now you should do what a lot of others do work on a kid’s book next that would be cool. Cheers.


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