Friiiiiiiday Feeling.

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Morning my cherry pies of delight! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Today I am beaming, which is odd to say that i’ve had about 1 hours sleep due to my poorly Baby 2. He spent all night weeping and snotting….balling and coughing. (When I say ‘balling’ I do mean ‘more weeping’ and not the gangsta term for ‘pockets filled with cash,’ as obviously that would be odd to have a gangsta baby, yet probably more rewarding in the sense of…i’d get cash instead of no sleep. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Weirdly, once he woke and moaned a bit…boys will be boys. Ruby will be sick and champion it like a sailor, unless she’s tremendously ill. Junior…the slightest little, tiny, thing..and that’s it…his world has ended and he’s in the biggest, heart breaking tears imaginable. But that’s mean for you. You see, the good thing about Junior is that he’s still ‘boy’ before he thinks he has to put up this macho front of insecurity. All boys develop such a suit and well depending on their life experience and surroundings, some grow out of it and learn to be comfortable in their own skin…others….stay broken. Lol. Junior’s in the good stage of boy, where he is expressive, loving, happy, weepy…OPEN. I hope he always stays that way…and it will all depend on how i raise him. It’s often better when women raise boys because we know what a GOOD man is.

Over the moon though today. Have no idea why? Just happy. Got an early night. Woke up refreshed. Feeling appropriately adored by the masses and back to work today, since I couldn’t get much done yesterday…due to doctors appointments and poorly babies. I’m looking forward to the lash line now and well it’s developing into more than I thought. I’m now moving forward with plans, as my own business plan ย is getting drawn up and well i’ve been doing all the correct research to get my product in all the correct places. Yesterday morning before 9am…it was all about the celeb goodie bag. I can’t believe how much i’ve actually being able to do myself, simply via the fine use of balls. I’m getting in doors that people never seem to even dare to knock at! It’s the Hollywood way! I tells ya! I’ve sort of adopted that work manner and brought it to my UK line of of ‘umph.’ All going well. Very happy. Plus, i’m not gonna lie, it’s filled with love, yet it’s sort of a big LAUGH at all the people who didn’t want me to achieve, didn’t think I would be able to do it…(I’ve never been a hater, so I never get why people SECRETLY enjoy to do it to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) It’s also a bit of ‘look at me,’ with a dollop of inspiration for all those alone and sort of being a struggling Mum of two. It’s hard work being a Mama and well i’ve done tremendous work in this area ๐Ÿ™‚ with BOTH babies…on my own…and look…i manage to create a ย business that’s hopefully gonna work tooo! YOu can do it girls! I feel strong because I feel like I have everyone on my side. I can’t believe my luck and I often have a happy tear because I’ve ever so grateful. I’ve dne the hard times and passed them with flying colours. I have nothing to regret…because I did everything right and worked hard and stayed true to my little ones…I made all the sacrifices. Yet the great thing about making all the sacrifices is the simple fact that God BLESSES you threefold when you perform acts of kindness or sacrifice…SHE DOES! *Wiggle-Wink* Now…the hard part is over…well it will be after my surgery…and then I am free sailing. Can I get a *Cha Ching!* Like I always said, with my first husband Michael…I’m always supportive and think that what he’s achieved is great. Sometimes it’s of whole heart…and other times it’s just something I say to mask extreme jealousy! ๐Ÿ™‚ At least i’m honest. On that…he gets the last laugh. Lol. But now that I look back, that boy worked SO HARD. he never went out, he ALWAYS worked hard on his craft. He was good to everyone and NEVER EVER wasted his time. I learnt a lot from him, as how I am now, is how he was then. hence why he got success much earlier. He already knew the core and was well ahead of the game. Now, i’m concentrating on my game. ๐Ÿ™‚

On the dating front…getting hit on LOADS NOW. If i spruce up a little bit, or wear something appealing or…just get out and about…as in errand running…I get HIT ON…madly and even though might not be interested, boy is it flattering. My chick friend says that with every 5 no-hopers, there’s always one good one. I’ve had normal guys, decent guys, hot guys, ugly guys, hit on me. Yesterday a bizarre one in a blue mac and hood decided to follow me on my way back from my errands. He like my boots, my face, my everything and really wanted to take me out on a date. I don’t think he had teeth. Not one to be judgmental or anything. But teeth help. ๐Ÿ™‚ Lord have mercy. Teeth help. It’s also helps if you look as though you don’t take drugs through the day..or really take drugs at all. I’m better than that! But yes, my red boots saved the day. I guess? I even had a DOCTOR…a DOCTOR asked me out on isle 6. My 5 minute supermarket errand turned into a whole 45 minutes, simply because my red boots wanted to entertain random gents to entertain for a few minutes here or a few moments there. I met a Chef, a Doctor…butcher, baker, candlestick maker. ๐Ÿ™‚ Not quite, but chef and Doctor yes. Id always have food and i’d always be well. I’ve actually dated a chef before. It is handy. But not when they blackmail you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Chef’s should stick to making prawn dinners and leave blackmailing to ‘The Sopranos,’ who do it with so much more decorum. (Not at all celebrating what they do.) Yesterday’s chef wasn’t dodgy. Apparently he wants to make me fajita’s one night. Cute. I just used the ‘i’ve got surgery’ exit line and with a Miss. World smile…I waved bye.

I’m just not ready for proper dating yet as I have too much on and I don’t like bringing new people into Wunna land really, it’s not beneficial for the the children….yet. I always put there best interests at heart. I DO LOVE DATES THOUGH. I adore romance. I LOVE being treated like a Princess. I love dinners. They make me feel special and I really enjoy them. More than a club nights. It’s just not me these days. Plus, the glitzy ‘Wunna boat’ has set off sailing with her sequin sails. (My LA friends call it the ‘Wunna Fame Bus.’) Once it’s sailed and successed and i’m laid at a stop off sunbathing in a zebra bikini, enfolded with brand new cash….so to speak…I can’t imagine just dating ANYBODY…I mean they would have to be of caliber. ๐Ÿ™‚ They can’t just wait until I’m successful then jump on board. I’m not that stupid. (Even though people like to think that I may be at times. ๐Ÿ™‚ Well I AM stupid AT TIMES. ๐Ÿ˜‰

People like Boyband Jonny ‘back in the day’ would do something like that. I can’t believe how much he used me and I can’t believe how much I let him, even after knowing everything in life that I already knew. He himself had issues and well he tried to make me feel like ย I wasn’t of worth, simply because he felt down and insecure. Hence why he dated me… and hence why he had to make himself feel mighty. (I think he believe that by dating me he would feel popular….I had just come off a TV show..literally….Yet what he found was that I wasn’t as weak as he hoped and dating me, being around the life that I was living during that time, made him feel even more insecure.) ย He had not much going for him in the love department…if it came to loving, building, looking after, or caring for a girl…let alone family. He just had a good singing voice. Yet I was moving forward and it made him feel uneasy and all that he had was the fact that he knew I loved him. SO he used that to bully me. It worked for ages…but then I got strong and VERY BORED of his game of ‘on and off’ again. I’ll play for little while, until I get bored of the ‘i love you and now I don’t’ game…then success takes over and I just leave it behind. When it comes to love, I’m very open. If I want to love, I will. If I want to kiss you…i will. ย I never play the game of it all and because I don’t believe in it. More boys do than girls. I’m just really open when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s funny that i’m doing well now, after Jonny treated me like rubbish. I’ve never forgotten it and well now i’m laughing. ( If I see him, I have a chat…but i certainly don’t count him as even an acquaintance. It’s hilarious, as he now would like to make amends.) But whatever, he jumped off the Wunna boat…yeah he said ‘sorry’ but it was far too fashionably late. He can swim now. ๐Ÿ™‚ Oh and look, i’ve run out of armbands. ๐Ÿ™‚

Life is great! I’m nervous about my surgery on Tuesday. I don’t enjoy that i’m not going to be able to chitter chatter for a while. I haven’t heard from Chase in a couple days, so hopefully the business plan hasn’t killed him off and he’s working hard on it. I know that he has a lot going on with work right now, so it must be horrific. (Doing sums…big ones…was never my forte.) ย I’m only concerned because he usually contacts me daily and numerous times. I get used to that behaviour and then I panic, when it’s gone. Lol. I enjoy routine now that i’m an oldie. But i hope I hear from him soon, as he said it would take a week to write the plan….and i’m in surgery in days. Not being able to talk is going to kill me. It makes me want a wine for breakfast. Eww! Who am I kidding…I meant a champagne. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’ve just had another Doctor’s phone call. It seems to be part of my normality right now. Luckily, I didn’t have to go in again, and the GP could just banter at me down the blower. My blood is all ‘jolly’ and when I say ‘jolly’ and I just partying with a mind of its own, or so it seems. Red blood cells, white blood cells, they’ve all having a knees up and well it’s been throwing my body off hormonally for years. The GP (who was Scottish) basically said, because I have had a certain number of pregnancies SO CLOSE TOGETHER, my body has never fully managed to mend hormonally and regain it’s correct balance, which would be a state where I could function like myself ย again. Ive been myself…it’s just been wibbly. It’s normal in pregnancy, but for me because i’ve had my babies close together and well there was a situation earlier this year….and my thryoid….my hormones have been jumbled and darted through the roof. It’s been triple FIRE! It was again a sigh of relief to hear that because i’m just getting back to normal to the point where I can even feel it. And i’ve been through a lot of drama with it.

So to all women going through the same DON’T WORRY, YOU GET BETTER…you’re not crazy, or pathetic, no matter how many times someone calls you it. ๐Ÿ™‚ ย And to all men who are experiencing such with their lady, THE CORRECT THING TO DO IS TO STAND BY HER AND SUPPORT HER) as it’s when she needs the help most, especially once the baby is born, you’re meant to make it as stress free as possible for her..and well that’s actually you’re job as a man. The dramatics are for the women.

Today, I feel great because after checking my blood cells and levels…and blurting a diet out at me…she put me on iron deficieny pills for three months, which will zoom my hormone levels back to ‘balanced’ in no time. Plus, I already feel much better, meaning it will be great! I’ll be a whole new woman and I can’t wait. I mean, it must have been crazier than I thought, because aside from my bloods, my thyroid has been hormonally effecting me also. All due to pregnancies and to them being far to close together for my little body to handle. The Doctor weirdly said, in her very Scottish accent, ‘You’ve actually been very poorly, but you yourself haven’t noticed because you’ve lived at that level for a while.’ It was relieving, because I did actually know, I just didn’t have anyone to tell, without getting blasted at. I know ‘being me’ well! I’ve been ME for 30 something years. So i noticed a change…and one that couldn’t be helped during pregnancy. I didn’t feel like I had support and it made me do crazy things, even after Ruby was born. But now…I’m getting back to MOI! Yipppeeee! IT NEVER FELT BETTER and i’m using the great feeling wisely. BEAUTY LINE MUCH! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s in these moment when you get better, that you look and see who was there for you, is there for you, who looked after you ย and made you well again. . (Reminds me of the girl I me at the supermarket who had told me that her boyfriend had left her after her 3 month old baby was born because she was hormonal. She had post natal depression, but instead of helping her, he selfishly thought of himself and did one. Left her with the baby even. TWO babies, because she had a toddler also.)

The good thing about a hormone jumble is that if you go to the Doctors, they point it out and make you well again. Once you’re well again, you know who you are and you SEE clearly…meaning you know who was there and who wasn’t. Who believed in you and supported you…and who didn’t.

Have a great FRIDAY! YEAH BITCHES!

Wunna’s getting BRAND NEW! And look, everything’s falling back into place. Stay positive!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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