Finally back up north

Finally home after a long work week in London and *Wa-Woo-Wee* does it feel good to be back. There’s something about the northen air, the open spaces, the spirit of warmth, that makes me step off a train and nod, with an inside *smile* of *woohoo,* whenever i get back. The main reason I love it, is simply because i don’t feel lonely. I hate to feel lonely. I’m naturally social and going to sleep at nights in an empty appartment is just not my *dat n ting.* I like to be laid back in bed, an able to look to my right and see a body, (not a dead one…ofcourse,) that is there comforting my sheets with me at night. It doesn’t even have to be the body of the boy i love, or a drunk stranger that i lust after…it just needs to be a ‘being,’ any HUMAN ‘being’…be it a friend, a mum, something i’ll regret later, or my lifetime. The warmth of them, and just me KNOWING that they’re there keeping me safe, makes me feel whole. In London i never have that now. I sleep alone. But whenever i get back to Yorkshire, it’s snuggles a plenty (WOOHOO) and this kitty cat, loves her squidges of lurve!!

I worked this morning. Didn’t go as well as it should of…but i’m just exhausted and need a much needed bit of resty time. If i didn’t indulge in the most delicious pedicure yesterday afternoon, i quite possibly would have DIED today. Unlike the ninja, massage bitch, my pedicure man from Korea oozed yumminess. You just can’t go wrong when you’re laid back in a massage chair (note, how an actual chair machine, was better than the chinese therapy lady’s own fricking unruly hands) and having your legs and feet rubbed gently and magically by a ‘handsome’ who acts as though he loves it. My feet we’re plunged into the water of goodness, treated with tender loving care, primped like they were the feet of a goddess (and they are), then each toe was delicately *white tipped* to make me look dainty. Now, i am quite dainty, however, i will admit that i walked into that place with feet like Barney Rubble and walked out of that joint like Miss. (Can i put a *fucking* in there? ūüôā World!!!

Woke up at 4am. Slept well. I was eased into lingerie by 5am and placed infront of a camera on a white luxurious boudior pad. Today it wasnt fast, but seemed long. I know that doesn’t make sense…but it’s really how it felt. I met a lovely girl today named Evelyn. Blond, skinny, gorgeous…and with an accent that turely made me want to be from some part of eastern europe. Now, i don’t exactly know where she originates from but she definitely had the ‘I’m an ingrid from Sweden’ cutsie wootsie, but sexual thing going on! I was in a baby pink and black lacy number with frilly pants, ans stockings. Evelyn was semi-‘french maid.’ Lovely girl, great morning! I am however, getting a low opinion about some men everyday i work there!

I mean, i had a guy pay to talk to me today…and it’s quite a lot of money. Instead of using his time wisely, in a sweet, respectful manner, he decided that at 7am in the morning, the first thing he would say to me was that he was ‘sooo horny’ and needed a ‘release.’ (eww.) Then when i listened in on his background, he actually had a porno on, with a girl screaming really really loudly playing on his Dvd. It kinda made me want to gip! What decent man, calls me up, watches me on a TV screen, tells me he has a dirty boner, whilst sat naked in his living room, (something that he’s NOT allowed to say to me,) with his WIFE upstairs, and with a porn playing loudly behind him on his DVD…and even worse…ALL OF THIS AT 7AM. I mean who does that at 7am??? Sick! The wife part astonishes me to. If you have a wife…love her. Don’t make a mockery of her and the art of love. (I hung up and shook my head.) Men get me completely wrong. Never ever in my entire life, would i ever date a gentleman like that! I hope the penis fairy comes and munches his willy off in his sleep so he’s unable to use it ever again. *licks lips.*

Long story short, finally got to Kings cross, at around 11am. It was packed with irritated sweaty bodies with luggage a plenty, who were all having to cramp into the space under the board that tells you what platform you need to go to. A bunch of trains had been cancelled or delyaed and ofcourse they were all the ones that I needed to get on.

Luckily, just at the right time,¬†i tottered into the scene (as always) saw that my next train was ready and at platfrom 1, galloped on over…exhausted from my 4am wake up call…and found myself a seat…and uncomfortable on on a train to Doncaster.

The train got so packed that it was crammed and sweaty! There were people sat down in the isles, children screaming, grandmothers collapsing, back packers luggaing. I sat next to girl who was part emo and wanted to read about spaceships. Then across the way from me, to my left was a hippie looking woman who not only reads books about stamp collecting (woohoo,) but also pretends shes engaged. She was apparently going to Newark, to meet a man who doesn’t want to meet her. She’s pretending she’s engaged to him. He won’t pick up his phone. LMAO! Girls will be girls!

Behind me..(to add the the circus) was an elderly couple bickering loudly about jews and how they like to drops things on peoples heads, and then a bunch of boys spent the rest of the time staring at my boobies. It was the only entertainment they had…and well…I have great jubblies!

I *open mouth* slept for the next hour and i loved a TWEET i recieved about that. Apparently, i have to becareful that my mouth doesn’t get filled, mid- sleep! Oh honey…what you don’t know about me, is that I’m Chrissie Wunna, not the Virgin Mary (who i believe might have been on crack.)¬†My mouth is usually pretty much always *filled* by some piece of man meat, that tells me, it loves me! I think i deliberately sleep *open mouthed* in dying hope that it gets *filled* by some ‘flied opened, clumsy much’¬† stranger! Lol. (I woke up to a 5 year old in all pink, and an inferior head band/bandana singing ‘Lord of the Dance,’ to me!

Okay, my train journey should have taken 1 hour 30 mintues. It took THREE! I was well pissed off because i hate being TRAPPED anywhere, by force. I was anxious to get off that thing, and was sick of the hippie chick worrying about when her stop was. I should’ve just pelted her one, to kncok some calm into her. I’m sat there…in my *thing-a-ling* state, craving coconuts and all things tropical, whilst wedged into a corner of a repulsively smelling train….that had barefeet walkers on it and ALL ‘Hippe chick’ can do, is fret about her pretend engagement to a man, who’s still not picking up the phone 3 hours later. She thinks its because he’s busy. I think it’s because she is a hippie, stamp collecting, panic button, imaginary bride. She talked to me like i had all the answers. I just wanted coconuts! (Then i wanted to be sick because i could smell someone eating salt and vinegars crisps behind me.)

Finally got off the train and instead of immediately jumping into a much needed taxi, i decided to blow off some steam by shopping. I grabbed a bundle of tropical flavoured things, then for some reason bought 7 pairs of different coloured flip flops from Peacocks. I’d never been happier. Flips flops are the answer!

Within 30 mins, i was in a taxi and on my way home. I’m currently relxing in the upstairs study, catching up on my emails, chitty chatting with my Daddy, who LOVES ‘Loverboy’ (not sexually…I mean, like a son.) I feel chillaxed, i’ve caught up on my correspondants, i’ve auditoned for another show and i’m feeling ontop of this world! I love being back home!!! I feel marvellous! I’ve called Pete and he’s being an absolute darling. He turely loves me deeply, more than i could have ever imagined!!I’m really lucky to have him. I’ve¬†completely ¬†lucked out with this one and i haven’t even messed it up yet! (THANKYOU CUPID. WOOHOO!) I’m finally dating someone i deserve to be with! We’re perfectly similar and perfectly different. We love being happy and we love being loved. He’s romantic and kind and someone i can fall back on with a trust of giggles. We’ve come from the same kind of background. We went to the same school. We have the same believes and i love his family! Everyday i thank cupid, for him. After what i’ve been through with boys..(*Flashback* of being thrown around a room in LA, in an orange top reading ‘Never judge a girl by her t-shirt,’ that had faded. Then remembering, standing cold and alone on a dark New York street after being promised the world and dumped, with no place to sleep. I remember walking in on one of my first boyfriends whilst he was letting another girl naked straddle him, then i had that recent that whole *user drama* with Jonny…a boy who took everything from me, lied and tried to batter me down emotionally.)

¬†I’ve finally found my saviour, the boy who will be good to me and love me forever and all i have to do in return, is love him back. (OMG..i’m actually filling up. lol) We first met as kids at school…our story that i will one day tell you…is a miracle. I mean imagine looking at someone at 11 years old and not knowing that that *someone* was going to be your future husband, in decades to come! Amazing! #everythinghappensforareason


2 thoughts on “Finally back up north”

  1. Now that your pregnant you seemed to have re-booted to your original operating system! You hate the smell of vinegar crisps and want nothing but mangos & coconuts!


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