Exes, Love and Make Up Morning Massages

Sooo Loverboy and I have just got back from our ‘lets treat ourselves for being glorious human beings’- make up, massages. To be honest, we kind of already ‘made up’ last night…We watched a bit of porn (which i found funny more than anything) on a black leather sofa, in our comfies. ( I had just confronted him about the whole ‘viewed my laptop history & got a ‘snail trail surprise, so i know you ‘heaved-ho’ to an online porno.’ Haha. I can’t hold anything in!!! He looked quite terrified really, like i was about to explode into a million pieces of firecracker and hid his bright red face, under a beige duvet that he had comfying him on the couch. He attemtped to deny it. 🙂 Then he saw the delicious ‘smile’ on my face of ‘caught you bitch’ and well we both burst into laughter. Well he was a little embarassed and thought he could lie a little more, even though he had admitted it. I then took the liberty of exactly showing him what he watched…then i got carried away, watched more and more of the girls, in grotty living rooms HAHAHA…and before you knew it…we were giggling each other into the bedroom and having a bit of ‘woobie woobie’ ourselves!!) I count that as ‘making up’ even though we had previously done the kissy, cuddly, ‘love you’ thing..with kittens. It’s funny more than anything. Then we woke up late this morning, glammed upa nd then ran through the leftover snow, hand in hand to get our hot stone, plus back & shoulder oily massage of bliss! I didn’t book a spa, simply because i’m saving it for my birthday. Yet nothing is BETTER than a wake up-make up rub down.

The room was low lit, they had the music on that suggested that the world was an utter globe of harmony. It smelt delicious and BOY did i get rubbed down! I loved it! Coming out of the cold snow and being handled by warm healing hands belonging to a lady named Karen (who had this inner beauty glowing from her eyes..even though she did step on my toe, for 6 seconds during my back massage. Lol. I have to have mine seated, due to my preggo belly.) I didn’t mind though, i drifted away and felt like i was being oozed with delight, in a far eastern country (even though i was in Pontefract 🙂 ) and i thoroughly enjoyed each and every moment of it! Massages mend EVERYTHING!! Pete had his..(it’s his first one ever) and he apparently enjoyed it sooo much that he fell fast asleep and woke up with snot all over his face. I hope it was snot? 🙂 As that would be rather unfortunate for all parties really!

If you’re a Wunna…Saturdays are ALL about pamerping yourself and enjoying every moment of it. (I have a friend who’s always MADE to scrub skirtting boards and hoover every Saturday, otherwise his girlfriend will kill him and beat him visciously with brooms, before locking him back in his cupboard! AH well…Sucks to be him! I had a massage and in the end got treated to it by Loverboy. I always moan about how well i want to be treated. Yet when a boy does pay for my things, i feel all weird and mainy because i feel a distinct loss of control and indepandancy.

Last night, when Loverboy was out, i got a phone call from one of favourite exes EVER…Tommy. I dated him in LA, when he was a Bodyguard…for Britney Spears might i add. (I find that hilarious.) He’s has the penis that i cried over, when we broke up and talked in his sleep about plant pots. Oh and he forget to tell me that he had a child and a wife.

Annnyway, we actually get along really well now. It’s funny innit? Like we both have extremely GREAT senses of humour. I mean, out of all the boys i’ve dated he’s the only one to have actually blended with me comedically. Our conversations are hilarious and that is always quite precious! I love it when he calls, because i get to ridicule him for being a basic idiot. Last night, he went into a long spiel about how he never really regrets the relationships that have ended, but he truely regrets ending his relationship with me. I dated him at a time when he was going through a very hurtful separation, a great deal of financial difficulty, he was meotionally and mentally drained and well due to that pretty ocmbination, ended up not being a very great boyfriend. However, only because he never told me that he was struggling.

He treated me to the fanciest dinners and cocktails in the whole of LA. We did both swanky AND humourous. Everything from The Ivy to a crappy, ‘in the middle of nowhere’ line dancing club, full of grannies and perverts. He had no money, yet we somehow managed to get trollied. Unfortunately, i let him drive us home. A 40 minute journey and we had a BIG car accident, where we span across a freeway, in what seemed like slooow motion, at 4am, before he passed out and i had to get us rescued! He nearly KILLED ME! Therefore, yeah,  really giving, really loving, really funny…but just a rubbish boyfriend at that time! Yet to this day, we have a wonderfully humourous friendship. I lvoe that he called me from LA last night and offered to help me with anything i needed.

The reason why i forgive him, is because i just can’t help it. He is the boy who is responsible for blessing me with my best first date ever. We hit all the bars on Santa Monica pier, after he treated me to a really posh lobster  and wine dinner, at a restuarant on the beach. It was warm, it was night. I had just met him in the afternoon of that day, in a bookstore and we ended up with going to a Kareoke bar fun, where he got up behind the girl on a stage and ballet danced behind her, in order to impress me. 🙂 I made out with him. He drove me home, after he played with homeless people on the beach, who can’t look after their own children. Then i trotted inside at 6am, leaving him in his car whilst shouting, ‘Oh shut up, i’ll bonk you tomorrow.’ lol

As he was doing his, i regret not being this spiel, i was only half listenning and pouting at my mirror image in a full length hallway mirror. I let him get done with it all, then pissed myself laughing, with an ‘OMG TOMMY, that spiel was sooo long! I zoned out. I’ve made a cuppa tea through it!’ He laughed, whilst edging me up the ladder of greatness, a little more. Then just like that, we said our goodbyes and left it all for another time.

I love my past even though it’s smeared in tragical, dipped in sin, sprinkled with ‘lost,‘ yet weirdly dazzled in ‘glitter.’ I’ve loved and am still loving every moment of my life. At the end of the day, we’re left with nothing but our memories and i want to be on my rocking hair, with my blue rinse and leopard print fur, smiling with satisfaction, at the stories i’ve managed to make happen in my life. I’m doing well so far…yet Lord knows what this Chapter in life has in store for me. ‘Wunna Breeds.’ Lovely! Lovely! (That phone call really did fill me up, with this gorgeous warmth of happy history.)

(Pete’s cooking me dinner, because i’m hormonal and got mad at him for not listenning to me talking about my upcoming Baby shower. He instead opted for watching ‘You’ve been FUCKING framed.’ He did that thing where he turns his face towards me, but fake smiles and nods at me, pretending he’s listening, whilst he has BOTH eyes on the telly!! I think i deserve a dinner! Oh and i’ve just noticed how i think it’s okay for ME to talk to all of my exes merrily. but i do allow him to. 🙂 I believe i need to lift that imaginary barr of my own insecurity and let him wander through it. Why not? I feel amazing today!)