My feet have shrunk and it confuses me? I’ve spent every moment of free time that I find working on the book. Baby in one arm, laptop in the other. I’m working my day job fully, trying to slim down away from my evil baby weight, making my relationship with Loverboy work and pulling that ever charming ‘swagga’ out of glittered hats and disco balls.
Okay, working on your book is really hard when you have a newborn. Loverboy’s been working a great deal and well with me refusing to place my Baby Ruby with ‘beings’ that i don’t fully trust, (i’ve an extrememly over-protective Mother,) i’ve been looking after her myself, nanny-free…and writing the book with a boob out and around bowls of salad and nappy bags.
I’m getting my shit together and more than I ever have before. I’m feeling great. I’m learning fast. I’m back to enjoying wine and i’m getting all terrified that my book isn’t gonna be good enough. I mean, it’s really hard to look back on your life, be a completely different person a year or two later, but then have to ‘sell’ your tragical past, like you’re still that ‘Flooze’ who wakes up in her own alcopop vomit. I’m having to attempt to be all confident about it and trust that my fans like me anyway. Plus, if i got get something in by the weekend, my agent will hate me more than she probably already does. Yet, with all the things circusing around my life…i think i’ve done pretty well keeping it all a float.
Worked all day. Had a chubby day. Loverboy and I are massively in love. Yet i’m noticing that he’s a boy that yearns to be loved and adored everso deeply. He’s idealistic about love and I mean the world to him. I am also. Yet i seem to do it with a modern day twist and a *wink* of independance. I’m the modern day Cinderella…yet never had to do rags. I’ve lived this insane life of pokery and i’ve adventured through worlds in order to find the truth to my existance. One moment I was slapping Leonardi Di’caprio in a nightclub as a 20-something and the next minute i’m 30 and wiping poo from the bottom a little girl that entered this world via my vagina. It’s hilarious! (Aww…Baby Ruby is laying on my mum and trying to eat her boobies.)
I don’t really have too much to report, because my mind is currently elsewhere and 100% focussed on getting my bookage completed. I’m buying a new home. I’m wearing too much eyeshadow. I’m enjoying the term ‘slimy twat,’ and I believe my daughter has just slapped me.
Losing my baby weight has begun to be troublesome. I can’t be bothered to be that disciplined. I’m a hell raiser. I’m not good at turing more into less. Be it money, makeup, life or fat. I believe in excess in moderation. Luxury. I’ve been told that I should be running. But fuck that. I don’t run!!! I’ve just had an entire human can-can out of my ‘Lady Part’ and i’m armed with boobies that have pints of MILK in them for crying out loud. YOU RUN! I’ll just eat rice cakes.
Pete an I are doing okay. I mean when we find ourselves doing *hip bumps* to the intro of ‘Billie Jean,’ whilst frying chicken. When that happens you know times are good…or you’ve gone mentally insane. A lot fo BIG things have happened to us since the day we got together. It’s all gone a little fast. I can handle fast. I have rockets in my ‘whoopdee.’ Pete has to get used to Wunnaland. All he has is his undying love for me. I have that…plus my undying love for him :)…and a whole world to manage. We’re getting through it slowly but surely. Yet i’ve decided to push everything to one side and just get down to the hard work. I’m a mum now. This needs to happen. I’m lucky to have so much going on. Pete’s lovely…but very much still a kid.
I’ve decided to step up my game and be ridiculously impressive. I’m going to be over the top, glamourous, the most hard working Princess alive and make the ever growing fairytale come to life! It’s my time to inspire and I will. I feel ignited…but still a bit chubby!
Anyway got to go! I’ve really got to get this book done. I need to find that confidence again and to get that i need to be around the people who encourage me fully. However, I do finally feel like ME again. That good old ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ (Whenever i feel like me again…my relationships usually fall apart. LOL.)
But yeah..My weekend is jam packed with work, work, work. I’m already exhausted…but I can totally fit in a wine. 😉 ( I was meant to win the lottery tonight. But once again I forgot to play! Oopsie!!! Ah well…i’ll save ‘Wunna wins millions’ for another day. )
Almost lost my baby weight! Yeah bitches!