Egyptian Whores and Wink Fests

Great day! It’s funny how a simply day around other silly beings can make a whole entire difference to your entire day. I’m now brimming over with a delicious *ooze* of ‘ohh laa,’ nothing that my utter tragical existance is thankfully paved with glitter and gin. (I’m a drinker, so sue me. I love a cocktail after a hard day at work.  Yet If you had had to adventure your way through my life, due to a marvellous stream of  poor choices, bad willies and tinesl town. You’d be drinking to. Each time i fucked up…i’d accumulate something, whenever i had to leave, whether it be running from a boy, a home or a country. Yippee! *Pout* I’d find myslf tottering onto my next chapter with a mattress, or a suitcase, a broken heart, a new job or a wink. This time i actually did something RIGHT, [applaud here] and I still managed to accumulate a new bit of lovage…however this time it was a baby. Lol. I created myself, *ouched* her out of my vagina and let her come along for the journey of my life, after naming her after my favourite precious gem, instead of my favourite drink or stripper. (You have Pete to thank for that.)

Loverboy and I are back to being all lovey dovey after i managed to realized that it’s not his fault that he didn’t invent Facebook, afterall. He is what he is and he does what he does..and i’ve never appreciated him more. It really does actually make a change, as i really was a tragic little girl, who’d trade up when it came to love EVERYTIME and in the dying hope that i’d find something better, or someone a bit more successful, a bit more delicious, or a bit more…well anything. It was certainly when i was at my worst and i was developing rather quickly via the rules of West Hollywood.

I’ve romanced everyone from a movie star to a homeless breakdancer. Loverboy..aka Pete rests right where i need him to. In the place where i began. The boy who knew me and adored me before the madness. However luckily i’m now a much better version of myself, with a giggly, wiggly edge….and tits. 🙂

White wine makes me angry at him. Therefore, i’m only drinking red around him from this point on and now red by ‘Weight Watchers’ (yesI am a loser) because i’m scared that i’ll end up looking like a fat old lady from a Burmese meat market selling chicken noodles to tourists for $50? Wait? No..that’s hand jobs?

Anyway, the point is i’m nicer when i’m off the vino blanc. I’m pretty nice most of the time, with a lemon twist of cheap gliitery and extremely glamourous charisma, folded in with a sexy swirl of sarcasm. I have an evil sense of humour and i have no idea where i inherited it from? Life taught me that i’m foolish and therefore need to laugh to prevent myslf from crying. 🙂

I must venture off and look through home decor books for my new home. I currently have Ruby banging on the laptop keys like she’s Jerry Lee Lewis…with a dummy and Loverboy making chilli noodles in his pants. Thank god we’ve made up. Love really does make life easier and this boy really does love me. I need to remember that and not jolly off into a glitzy, big boobied tangent of bitch.

Today i managed to get called a ‘whore’ (out of affection) by two male friends in 2.3 seconds. I flicked onto Facebook and there Gay Adam was adorning me with a delicious ‘whore’ wall pots followed by a *wink.* Then in an exact second (and a bit 🙂 ) I flicked over to my work emaily ‘chat’ thing and got called an ‘EGYPTIAN’ whore…by salesmanMatt, who’s leaving for California in 12 days.

Life is wonderful. A gift to be lived, enjoyed and danced through. Add a bit of *sass* to the equation and you can do it MY way…making your world that little bit ‘ooh laa.’ *Wiggle-Wink*

(Me in the Hollywood records party photobooth, with the V.P of the label. I obviously made a good impressipn. *Cringe*)

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