Don’t Touch ME!!

I’ve just woken up to happy tears, after speaking to a sailor last night, who shot me right back into a fluster of happy flash backs, a flurry of ‘good times’ and the odd moment of bad. I was typing away with tears strolling down my cheeks, then having to stop in order to piss myself laughing. Kinda like being mentally ill really? ‘Mentally ill’ is so my thang. I’ve always done it so well. (Just got a flash back of me picking up a ten foot tall table and launching it off a building in LA, whilst screaming, ‘I’m a legend!! ) I’ve never spoken to a sailor who hasn’t been drunk before and tried to feel me up, therefore it really was quite decent! Actually.. i think in the end, we just got pissed off at the world, the people in it, then how people use others and quit typing. He probably got fucking drunk then, doing his ‘label’ proud!! Yeah bitches!

Yesterday was my day off. I spent it chilling in diamonds, bumping and grinding to the soothing sounds of angry hip/hop and smashing beer bottles into walls to see if they were magic?? Don’t ask? Dolly Parton was howling in the background… as i was learning ‘life’ (not the real Dolly Parton, my life’ s not that great.) And well i looked like an over the top diamond draped, high heeled Queen of tardom, maybe distantly related to Lily trapped in a pissed up ‘smelt like a used up cunt’  brewery. (That was a mouthful. ) There were all these awful beings around me. I’m usually quite nice, (with a touch of ‘terrifying,’) but oh LORD, I made them fuck RIGHT off. At one point i had a champagne bottle in my hand, was fanning them away (with my other hand) like they were disgusting AIDs ridden flies and demanding quite loudly that they DID NOT TOUCH ME!!  I’ll just never learn. Yet, the beauty of being ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ is that i’ve made such a fabulous name for myself, that i can get away with such awful behaviour and be applauded for it….then paid!! (Evil Laugh..pout.)

Just so you know, you are reading this today with the people of The World!! I’m bringing you together without u even knowing it, so ‘man up’ and take it like the darlings that you are! (Ugh! Peter Andre is on my screen…he makes me squirm and want to pee all over his face.) My number one country for blog readers is now the UK!!! (Yeah lovers! You let ‘baby’ back home! OOh Laa.) The second is America (ofcourse) my champions of support. The country that made me the lovely human being that i am today! (Thanx for the ) Then it goes ‘weden, ingapore, Burma.’ (No comment.)  They are currently my top 5 countries! (I’ve also been informed that ‘everyday someone finds my site by searching ‘shooting ping pong balls out of vagina.’ ) Hahah..you dirty little over sexed Hero’s! (Just watching a man be terribly awful to his beautiful wife. I hate that! Why bother? At least get ya dinner made first!)

Day of grooming for me today. I’m in London tomorrow. My heart is aching for my ‘baby booness’ and i really need to start on this tan. I’m learning a lot about myself and finally all the right people are being cleverly placed around me to make me feel safer. I’m loving ‘Boyband Jonny’ right now, simply because our ‘bond’ is oddly so strong and he keeps me ‘normal.’ (Not sure if that’s a good thing?) We have this amazing connection. I tell him everything. Like I feel like i can be my complete awful self around him and for some reason it’s okay. (Well probably because i have amazing tits & let him play in my vagina to mood music. He gets all up in there, makes it bleed, then walks away all cocky thinking he’s 6 ft tall.) I’m gonna do a bit of a bloggathon today. Poor sods! (Grant Wakeman on Facebook- Just asked to see my ‘pussy‘) You boys just keep getting more and more romantic by the day!

9 thoughts on “Don’t Touch ME!!”

  1. sappening trouble u do have some blinding tales chrissie i would ove to get pissed with u coz u would be a proper bubble listening to all your adventures

    Reply
  2. well the uk we have gotyour bag when u always tried to mug us of before babe but i love u for it your cheekyness and the fact u tell things how they are like i do

    Reply

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